Sunday February 1, 2004

WOOOHOOO! BML-Citz video entry!

Category: Video | 12 Comments | Posted 2:26

The first one in ages! Hooray! Rejoice! Enjoy! Have fun!

- Postcard from Brighton (Real Media, 206KB, 19secs)
- Postcard from Brighton (Windows Media, 199KB, 19secs)

We're tired, we're off to bed. Nighty!

People die

Category: Randomness | 0 Comments | Posted 15:09

140 in Irak.
244 in Mekka.
And still there are so many more alive.

Monday February 2, 2004


Category: Randomness | 0 Comments | Posted 2:43

I demand a Kal update.

Go Janet!

Category: Opinionated | 17 Comments | Posted 4:50

Just cuz everyone's getting so worked up about it - WOOOHOOO @ Janet Jackson baring her boob at the fucking SuperBowl!! :))
Tho :-& @ Justin Timberlake being the one uncovering it of course.

PS In case you hadn't seen it yet...

Heeheeeheehee. :P

[edit] Oh and LMAO @ all the hypocritical pseudo-apologies issued afterwards by the likes of Justin and MTV - "it was unintentional, an unfortunate incident..." yeah right! Ah, can you get better publicity than this? Course you can't! LOL. Pure fucking genius, this whole thing. I bet they've had their press releases readily phrased & printed out for days! [/edit]

Sea is scary

Category: Randomness | 16 Comments | Posted 16:56

Yeah so BML Me is scared of the sea - of looking at it and being near it. Now I find looking at it rather fascinating and soothing, but I have to admit I am petrified of being in it, with all its monstrously frightening inhabitants. Which is why this flash thing gives me the creeps. Just thought I'd share that.

Tuesday February 3, 2004

Pastiches - an experiment

Category: Randomness | 15 Comments | Posted 14:15

So a while back I suddenly had the idea of doing a diary entry trying to imitate the writing style of various other blogging people that I count among my friends or acquaintances. I thought this might be fun and BML Me and squiZZ agreed so I've decided to give it a go now as I have nothing better to do (well I do but I choose not to do it). I will not say who I am imitating of course as that would spoil half the fun so the way this works is that everyone can guess who they think it is and as most of the regulars here will be at the party on the 28th maybe there'll even be a prize for whoever gets everything right. I will try not to be too obvious so as not to make it too easy (so there will be no "cook me a thing" and no oO(thinking in bubbles)) and yes, this paragraph is supposed to be imitating someone too.

Right, so maybe I should update you on what's been going on since I haven't done that in ages. So yeah, what has been going on... not much of course (what did you expect??). Mostly I've just been lounging about the flat in my usual fashion. Surprisingly tho yesterday I was actually quite productive - not something you get from me that often, as I'm sure you'll agree. I applied for 3 different jobs, so now I can sit and wait for the rejections to come in (more likely they won't even bother replying at all of course, leaving me feeling utterly crushed and dejected. Nothing new there then.)

I have to say though, I would really like to get that one job. It's developing DVDs and they need multilingual people. I think I'd not be too bad at it, I have the qualifications they want and all that. I had to write a cover letter with it, that was so annoying, I could only think "oh come on, just give me the job already!" But I'm glad I did that once, let's hope they'll ring me soon.

Ok that sounded like a good idea earlier and now I just can't be arsed anymore (which is why it became more & more crude towards the end). Feel free to guess who the 3 ppl are. I've applied for one more job, we had a guy round who tried and failed in fixing the network, and yeah, that was my day basically.

Thursday February 5, 2004

I love Skyler (and she doesn't know yet)

Category: Opinionated | 10 Comments | Posted 1:33

Yes so today I found Skyler aka girl ruin.
(ok squiZZ found her, but he didn't even read her so he deserves no credit.)
She is my soulmate in many ways. I will demonstrate. I am copying.

× brian molko is my god.
× actually, i'm an atheist.
× i have never smoked a full cigarette in my life.
× nor have a tried any illegal drugs.
× i do not believe in the institution of marriage.
× i do not, and will not, ever want kids.
× i prefer one-on-one meetings as opposed to hanging out in a group.
× i rarely leave my house.
× i have an abundance of inside jokes with each of my friends.
× i drink at least 1-2 cans of diet coke a day.
× my favourite numbers are 4, 7, 13 and 54.
× i did not go to my high school prom, and no, i do not regret it.
× i love men is make-up.
× favourite body part on the opposite sex: hands.
× "i'm alone but i ain't lonely" is a phrase i live by (from "santa fe").
× i only like silver, sterling, and pewter. i hate gold.
× i don't follow trends but i wear what i like. if it happens to be a trend at the time, oh, well.
× i looked up to michael jackson as kid.
× i hate hypocrisy.
× i am not one of those 'trendy' supporters of homosexuality.
× i love my two cats, shadow and salem, to death.
FAVE PLACES: london, england; paris, france; italy; my room; my bed
OBSESSIONS: gay men, androgyny, brian molko, placebo, books, my computer, my laptop, more.

Those are just some of the reasons why she's my soulmate. She has non-soulmatey attributes as well of course, but mainly she's very soulmatey. Therefore I love her. And you should all go and read her site and her LJ.

Suicide II

Category: Opinionated | 9 Comments | Posted 5:30

Yeah so I'm mailing Anikó and somehow from the cannibal murder in Germany we got to the topic of suicide... and I remembered this (German) article which says suicide rates in Germany went down some 40% between 1982 and 2002, mainly because depression is being addressed and treated more effectively (largely by prescribing the right anti-depressants).

Apparently depression and other mental conditions are the main reason for suicide. "Mentally fit people don't commit suicide, even in very difficult situations. Instead they seek help and strive on hope." Says this one psychiatrist guy.

... so doesn't that mean that suicide is becoming more and more avoidable?
Basically my attitude has always been this: if someone wants to kill themselves, people around him or her (provided they suspect it) should make sure it's not just because of some stupid temporary heartbreak or financial problem, and if it's not and that person has a good enough reason to want to die, then we should accept that (tho I do believe everyone has some responsibilities towards others).

But if the right pill or the right therapy can help even those who do find day to day life too much of a struggle, then what still speaks for suicide? Considering, as it is my belief, that this life is all we're gonna get, there is nothing glorious or ceremonious about suicide - it is not "moving on", it is merely "ending it" - and though it may be artistic under certain circumstances, there is no satisfaction in it as you will not be around to witness the reception of your work of art.

I'm not actually condemning suicide here - not saying it's cowardly or wrong or whatever. I'm merely asking a question. IMO life in most cases is better than death... so if those who hate their life can be convinced that it's actually worth living, then that should always be the more desirable option, right? Or is that invading their personal space? Is it like trying to turn a gay person straight?

Hm, I seriously don't know. Lol I'm sure this entry was meant to go in a different direction originally. And why do I waste so much time pondering such issues if they concern me only marginally...? Maybe I really should have studied psychology...
It is dark and foggy out there.

Friday February 6, 2004

So I still haven't updated my diary...

Category: Randomness | 7 Comments | Posted 4:47

...and it's like 1/2 4, but we're still online doing crap and stuff. So here's an update. I could talk about who were my Top5 visitors in December, or in January, but that might be embarrassing to some people so let's drop that. ;;)

I could also talk about the venerable avatar I (we) made but rather than talk about it I could just show it... which I guess I have just done.

I'd rather not talk about my addiction, which is the reason I'm still here, and I'd also rather not talk about jobs, insurance, Sky Digital, BT direct debit or overdrafts. I'd gladly talk about the forthcoming Placebo concert tho, or our Jareth, or about being a rock, or squiZZ Mon Lo... and many other things (I mean people).

But I think it's probably wisest to not talk about any of that right now, but instead go to bed, manufacture some Zs and get up fresh and early tomorrow to find a job and go furniture shopping.

Why Skyler rocks II

Category: Randomness | 2 Comments | Posted 5:16

She sees the light. 8-}

Furniture Shopping

Category: Life & Me | 19 Comments | Posted 18:29

Ja, so in true geek fashion we are ordering most of our furniture online. OK no we really just ordered the sofa, the rest we'll get tomorrow. So here is a list with pics shamelessly stolen from the Argos site. :P

- dining room table & chairs
- lilac 2-seater sofabed
- basic laptop desk
- telephone table

Ja thassit. Um what else... yeah I bought a nice print of Paris and BML Me one of New York, and I bought a purple clipboard and she bought a purple bin, and that's pretty much it. Ah I also bought superglue so I can fix my webcam. So I guess I'll do that now.

Saturday February 7, 2004

Weeee busy Citz!

Category: Photolog | 11 Comments | Posted 14:50

I've been a good little housewife and cleaned up our incredible mess! :D
And you're getting wonderful before-after pictures, hehehe... (the before pics are really bad so if you have messophobia, don't click! They all open in the same window so click, let them load, then go back/forth for a nice comparison effect)

- Lounge before and after.
- Kitchen before and after.

I've also been a good little geek and installed Win98SE on the laptop, which is now working delightfully fast. :-) God I'm proud of myself! ;;) (and I wonder if I should stop stealing squiZZ's "small font" thing...)

Sunday February 8, 2004

A Walk up the Hill

Category: Life & Me | 6 Comments | Posted 18:48

Yeah so today I went for a walk. It was a bit sunny, and I had a sudden urge to be healthy and fit again and lose weight and all that shit, so off I went. I took my cam of course, so I took pics, which you may view if you wish. You can do so by clicking here, but you don't have to of course.

It was a pleasant walk. A bit windy up at the top, but very nice all the same. I had some time to think during my walk too... and came to the realisation that I am a very lucky bitch indeed, because I have BML Me. I will tell you how I came to that realisation, because it was a bit of a complicated train of thought. And because I have nothing else to write about anyway.

I started out thinking about Placebo... about that concert on the 2nd of March that we didn't know about and that is now sold out and how I've found a pair of tix on eBay and whether Daniel would be able to stay another day and how we'd do that... and then I thought, well at least we have a hotel room for the night before (for I booked one last night), so that's sorted... then I thought God how are we gonna smuggle squiZZ in there, they will so notice, and I was reminded of how it was so much easier back in NYC when Darina, Jenny and BML Me took pity on Arica and me and smuggled us in, because that was a huge hotel and there was much confusion anyway cuz of 9/11... yeah and then I remembered how that was the 1st time I met BML Me and how I thought she was so cool pretty much straight away, and well, came to the conclusion that I am one lucky cow for now sharing a flat and a life with her.

Told you it was long-winded. :P Yeah what else... I bought some nice stripey fabric to make a protective bag for my Chloe (digicam), and a very funky colourful candle... one can never go into Brighton without spending money it seems. Yes I am aware there still haven't been any pics of new furniture etc. Soon. We made a video last night, hopefully I can be bothered to edit that later. We didn't do laundry today as we had planned because... well basically cuz we're lazy online addicts. I have to apply for some more jobs today. Well write today, apply tomorrow. OK, so stay tuned for that video...

So here's your video!

Category: Video | 12 Comments | Posted 23:30

MTV Cribs at BML-Citz-flat (Real Media, 5.2MB, 4:40min).

(this video has been removed to make some room on my webspace. If yuu really wanna see it, drop me a line -

Monday February 9, 2004

Brian Brian Brian Brian

Category: Randomness | 17 Comments | Posted 14:24

=P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
=P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

eBay Item Won! PLACEBO STANDING TICKET X1 2nd March 2004

=P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
=P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

PS I am utterly insane.

Human Nature

Category: Me about me | 7 Comments | Posted 20:01

Once there was a time when I would read books and be confused and wonder why the characters did the things they did and I would not understand, and I would think that it was because I was stupid and too young and inexperienced and did not grasp fully the depth of human nature and their motivations and their reasons for acting as they do.

Now it is different. I have realised that I will never understand, and that this is the normal way, and it is acceptable. I know now that there is no complete understanding of human nature. We barely understand ourselves, so how can we understand others. We struggle in vain to understand our friends, so how can we expect to understand characters created by someone we do not even know.

So now I do no longer seek to understand when I read a book. I read about a character's acts and decisions, I observe and I acknowledge, and that's all there is, and it is enough. I think it has made reading more beautiful.

Maybe one day I will also just observe and acknowledge my people in real life, and it will make life more beautiful. But of course those you have around you are quite different from characters in a book in that they exist, and they matter. So as of yet I am still trying to understand. Though more and more I wonder why...

Tuesday February 10, 2004

Cuuuuuteness of the Mir!!!

Category: Randomness | 12 Comments | Posted 15:54

LMFAO how cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!

Miriam: mir LOVES putting together new furniture :D
Miriam: be like BIG kinder eggs! :D

:x :x :x :x :x

Good little Housewife II

Category: Photolog | 15 Comments | Posted 17:18

OK to make it sound more glamorous let's say I've been a good little designer. *lol* So I've made a little bag for my cam. I think it's cute and pretty. Everyone will agree. Almost.

Wednesday February 11, 2004

Interview tomorrow

Category: Life & Me | 8 Comments | Posted 16:32

Yes me. Scary uh? I think so too.
Can you see me in the recruiting business? Yeah thought so. But good money.
And do you know what FPGA stands for, and VHSIC and ASIC? I do now. It's all fascinating stuff. Microelectronics you see. Mhmm.

So tomorrow I will turn into a "commercially minded graduate who has a strong desire to succeed." Yep. So I fulfil at least two of the criteria they have for candidates. Cuz I certainly do not have "a proven track record in high technology recruitment or relationship based solution sales," no no. :|

But I have mystery purple hair now. The red had to go. Well it's basically dark with a reddish tint kinda like this. Um yeah. And now we're off to the recycling centre and the laundrette. BML Me has a job btw! :D A big woo-yay for her! :-) :x

Thursday February 12, 2004


Category: Randomness | 4 Comments | Posted 20:50


intr.v. swooned, swoon·ing, swoons
1. To faint.
2. To be overwhelmed by ecstatic joy.

1. A fainting spell; syncope. See Synonyms at blackout.
2. A state of ecstasy or rapture.

Just for Mon...

Category: Mon & Lo updates | 6 Comments | Posted 21:45

Friday February 13, 2004

Post interview... from here to...?

Category: Me about me | 19 Comments | Posted 13:23

Yeah sorry I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy...

... ahem I mean, I meant to write this yesterday but then never got round to it. Yeah so the interview was fun, and interesting. I didn't get the job, I hadn't expected to and didn't really want it anyway as I can't see myself doing something like that - and he sensed that, lol. So yeah, he said he thinks I have what it takes but I'd have to know that this is what I really want - which it obviously isn't - as this would be a long term career, something to work on for years etc, and a really tough job too, not just a "well let's try it for a few months" thing.

So Paul (the CEO and guy who interviewed me) has made me realise that I need to make up my mind about what I want from life, and not dabble in this and that for lack of better ideas... originally I'd wanted to do that last summer - think about where I wanna go etc - but it's never too late so I shall do it now. I'm a bit scared that I'm getting old and I don't have enough time to actually start a real career - as in, start from the bottom and work my way up - but Paul guy thinks I shouldn't worry and that 26 is not as old as it sounds. *hehe*

So my first step will be to finish - well, to start that damn dissertation. Will try to get a part time job to survive in the meantime, and then we'll see where to go from there... maybe I will try publishing or media or sth like that. Why should I be so much worse than anybody else? I realised yesterday that I cannot lie and pretend to want something I do not - the only way I can sound interested and dedicated is when I actually am. I think I'll make a list of things I like doing and things I'm good at and go from there. Indeed. Stay tuned! *lol*

Goodness Gracious...

Category: The Web | 3 Comments | Posted 16:10

  God help us! :-&

Saturday February 14, 2004

There is hope...

Category: Randomness | 4 Comments | Posted 0:45

Send an Anti-Valentine card! :D

Wooooo I love....

Category: Opinionated | 8 Comments | Posted 15:43

Mon and Lo and also squiZZ and Miriam and BML Me of course!
NB These are not Valentine's declarations, even tho today is Valentine's Day. It's a pure coincidence - it just so happened that I came across some old soppy entries earlier today. Aye.

Sunday February 15, 2004


Category: Randomness | 3 Comments | Posted 2:12

Tu me donnes en riant
Des nouvelles d'en bas
Je te dis mort aux cons
Bien plus cons que toi
Mais qui sont mieux portants.

Six pieds sous terre Jojo tu n'es pas mort
Six pieds sous terre Jojo je t'aime encore.

Reeetail therapy!!!!

Category: Photolog | 16 Comments | Posted 12:36

There's nothing like shopping to lift one's spirits. Here's some of the stuff I bought yesterday and today... woo!

- Black handbag (purchased yesterday)
- Funky Paris handbag!!
- I can never resist books
- Oh and here's my new hair

Monday February 16, 2004

Call me when you try to wake her up

Category: Life & Me | 9 Comments | Posted 17:13

So I should be ringing Kimberly & Clark... they may have a job for me. What a shame I have phone phobia. Why can't everything just work online? I would happily chat to them on Yahoo!?

[...] Ha the irony... so I have a phone interview with them tomorrow at 10am. Ah well, what the heck. I should also have gone into Reed today to do that audio typing test - well originally I should have gone in on Friday... so now it's tomorrow... and then there's the Job Centre as well....

I have been remarkably unproductive again lately, after an initial surge of "starting my new life" energy. But what to do? I wanna be paid for reading books. Not writing reviews or proof-reading or anything. Just reading. I just luuuurve The Well of Lost Plots which I am reading now, it's fucking genius! It's like living life inside literature - I feel soooo at home there! :x

Heh maybe I really should do an MA in English Literature... but it would be so pointless, what would I use it for? I can't hide forever in the academic world just because it seems so much safer and more familiar than Scary Jobworld. Why are there so many other people out there? They should all be shot. Just me and my dream world. What's so wrong about the Matrix I ask?

"It's all been designed and tested for IE6 because thats what I use and so if it looks weird for you with your retarded Opera of Mozilla or whatever else you use then tough shit." All hail the great squiZZ. Sod usability issues! Oh and check His new layout!

[...] Block

Category: Randomness | 4 Comments | Posted 19:16

I wish this sort of mood turned me into a well of creativity, made me draw and write and whatnot else, I wish it produced intriguing expressionist pictures or gloomy poems, surrealist short stories or genial songs...

... instead nothing, just frustration and self hate and fedupness. So I'll go now and revel in someone else's creativity and genius until the mood passes. Buhbye.


Category: Life & Me | 8 Comments | Posted 23:39

Proven remedies against melancholy:

- watching 1 or 2 episodes of Blackadder
- ordering a ticket to yet another Placebo concert

so next time I get depressed I'll have to bid on a ticket to the Manchester show?! :-s

Tuesday February 17, 2004

Ooooh cuteness!

Category: The Web | 0 Comments | Posted 20:05

I love Inktomi Slurp! :x :x :x

Yes Inktomi's bot is called Slurp. That's the cutest thing I've heard in a long time - I mean, Slurp!!!! :x :x :x Beats Google any day!

Oh thy goodness!

Category: Randomness | 8 Comments | Posted 20:35

Oh wondrous pizza! I tremble with desire
As thy delicious toppings touch my palate
And thy crunchy base crumbles 'twixt my teeth.

Oh peppers, tomatoes, mozzarella, pepperoni!
Words cannot describe what you do to my tastebuds!

Each morning when I wake
And set eyes upon the Sun
I thank Fate for Goodfellas,
Asda Thin & Crispy and
Dominos Take Away.

May their Reign
over my diet
never end!

Instead of a layout...

Category: Randomness | 3 Comments | Posted 22:32

... you're getting an entry.
Actually sod that, you ain't even getting an entry.
In the spirit of the moment, you are getting some song lyrics.
Dedicated to d, who has very good taste, except when it comes to Placebo. :P

              Radiohead - Creep

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

She's running out again,
She's running out
She's run run run running out...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special...

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.

Wednesday February 18, 2004

** SleepingCitzCam **

Category: Video | 15 Comments | Posted 0:28

Yeah so I've been meaning to do that for a while... since I can sleep in here and all, and would be kinda funny, anyway yadda yadda blablabla, how about either tomorrow night or Thursday night?

Obviously it would mean I have to go to bed quite early or everyone else will be asleep before me... :-? and it wouldn't be continuous livefeed, but more like, an update every 2 minutes or so, that way I can save the pics too and have a look later. :)) I've always wanted to know how much I toss and turn during the night. :P

Yeah so what do people think? :-? Would anyone bother to watch at all? :| And which night would be better? Tell me! :D

West Pier

Category: Updates | 12 Comments | Posted 19:22

Ja so as you can see (unless you're blind), this site finally has a new layout. About time, I know, although I will miss the wonderful colourfulness. And the squiZZ of course... yeah so no sexiness for now... instead you get lovely West Pier (pic taken last summer), some depressing lyrics (Placebo of course) and "easy on the eyes" colours as Craig put it.

So what else is new... um, been to Reed again today to register properly and stuff... so maybe they'll find me a job... scary thought. Ah yes, and we have no lights in half of the flat. Nice that. And we have fuses that must be as old as this flat, and I have no idea how to fix or replace or anything. :-s And that's all my news for today really. God my life is exciting. I'll start a detox thing tomorrow tho. Wheee! :D And tonight I'll binge. 8-}

Edit With the help of wonderful Craig, the lights problem is currently being solved... well we have lights in here now but none in the rooms.. then tomorrow fuse will be repaired. :P Am currently undergoing a looooong distance crash course in electrics. :))

Thursday February 19, 2004

A room that is pure perfection

Category: Life & Me | 16 Comments | Posted 17:24

Ja so I got my Placebo poster today... which I'd ordered on eBay on Monday or whenever it was. Isn't he gorgeous? So Robbie has been moved behind the door, hehe.

Fuse has been fixed, we have lights again (wheee, thanks again Craig! :*). I also cut myself. Twice. It's rather painful. Um other than that, nothing... I got the Argus so I'll go thru their job section now. Maybe I'll sleep a little. I'm tired. Yeah so I don't think there'll be SleepingCitzCam tonight. :)) We'll see.

Oh yeah, my detox is going well in case anyone is interested. I am not hungry and I am not craving chocolate, particularly a yummy muffin, or alternatively a big fat pizza. No no, none of that.

PS The header graphic has been replaced, there are now 4 different pics and 8 different quotes that show up randomly. Um yeah.

Friday February 20, 2004

MoMA Love

Category: Life & Me | 8 Comments | Posted 20:02

People have been asking for an update again... God they're so demanding! I am busy doing my detox and feeling sorry for myself! I mean really! :no

Yeah so the MoMA is coming to Berlin... I luuuurve the MoMA (er, that's Museum of Modern Art in NYC for you non-Momaniacs), it's my fave museum ever... and I've always wanted to see Berlin, so maybe I should combine the two and go this summer... provided I have a job. Or maybe I should wait until it reopens - bigger and better - in NYC and go there again for a change (next winter that is).

So this afternoon I was offered a job, telemarketing, and I said no, first cuz it's full time and 2ndly cuz I hate telemarketing... phonephobia you know. But the phonephobia (and the fulltimeness) hasn't kept me from requesting an application pack for this job, hehe. Have also applied to Asda, oh and I got my library card thingy so I can get into Sussex and Surrey libraries and start working on my dissertation. Ja. Maybe I should do some research now.

Sunday February 22, 2004

Wahey! It is over!

Category: Life & Me | 20 Comments | Posted 20:29

I hereby declare that my detox has officially ended!! *munches choc bar and sips Diet Coke (no ice)* What a marvellous feeling!

Actually it's a bit of an anti-climax, I didn't even really fancy chocolate, and the Coke tastes slightly weird, but it had to be done. Do not ask why. Do I feel any different? (Everyone keeps asking me that.) No not really, but I'm sure it was good for me and I am now ready to face a weekend of debauchery! :D

Today was yet another uneventful day. Online is boring me to death these days - it's so strange, I spent 6 months literally living online and was quite happy doing it too. Often bored, but happy. Now I'm just oh so annoyed. The Internet is dead, utterly dead, and the only other thing to do here is read. That's mainly cuz I lack the energy to do anything slightly more exciting I suppose... but where to get it from, I'm asking ya?

So today I went to Prospects (the UK's official graduate careers website) and did this "what to do with my life" test, but it wasn't very conclusive... tells me I should go into fucking Education :-& - I mean purlease! Other options are Administration (no really) or Advertising/PR/Marketing... hmm maybe, maybe... I dunno. Media was there too of course. If only... Also offered: Law Enforcement - heh, told you I wanna go work for the Police! :D

Tuesday I'm going to Warwick uni to raid their library for dissertation material. I think I'll book an appointment with their Careers service too, maybe that will be a little more use. I shall also meet up with Lady Nour and probably pop into my old job to say hi to the IER people... exciting. I've started doing work for my dissertation tho, ain't that amazing? Not much mind you, but it's a start.

Hm yes, that's pretty much it I think. Told you, boring boring boring. I wanna do an Internship at the Foreign Policy Centre. Sounds cool no? :D I will apply. :P

Monday February 23, 2004

Bang and Blame

Category: Opinionated | 12 Comments | Posted 1:37

So imagine someone close to you dies in a tragic accident. Like, in a plane crash for instance. You are devastated of course - it's unfair that they died, and you miss them, and it sucks.

But does it make you feel better if they find a scapegoat? Can you sleep better just because you can officially blame someone? Apparently so. Again and again you see victims' families cry for "justice" - meaning they want to find a scapegoat, and they will not be happy until they have one.

Like the case of the Kaprun furnicular train, where 155 people died some 3.5 years ago in a terrible fire. The trial ended a few days ago and all suspects were cleared. No one could be found guilty of having done anything wrong - something had obviously gone wrong, there shouldn't have been a fire, but it was no one's fault in particular, it was just, well, bad luck. A shame, and sad, but hell, that's the way it goes sometimes.

But the victims' families wailed and shouted and cried and declared they were ashamed of their country and whatnot. WTF?! So would they miss their relative less if some mechanic or supplier was found guilty of the accident!? People are so petty, selfish, vengeful and, well, stupid. Um yes. That had to be said, right here, right now. And now I shall bed.

Some people should update.

Category: Opinionated | 5 Comments | Posted 19:05

Like you, you, you, you, you and you. Just a random thought.

Tuesday February 24, 2004

Backdated diary entry

Category: Randomness | 4 Comments | Posted 23:57

Happy 21st Birthday BML Me
:x indeed. tho will officially be celebrating Saturday... thought would say.

Happy 2nd birthday to this blog/site
apparently. (|

Wednesday February 25, 2004

Once upon a time...

Category: Opinionated | 3 Comments | Posted 0:53

.... my random thoughts were all mine, nothing came of them, they didn't matter and no one cared.

Nowadays nothing comes of them, no one cares and they don't matter, but I'm always worried that I'm having some amazingly important realisation that I should be posting on my diary. Kinda takes the fun away.

Lesson learned? I don't know. Set priorities maybe. (| At the end of the day... nothing comes of it, no one cares and it don't matter.

Did I tell you?

Category: Randomness | 5 Comments | Posted 11:41

I have the Moonwalk Charity Shop disease (MCS). Yesterday it struck again. Moonwalk (hardcover) plus an (ugly) oil burner for £1.40, not bad don't you think? It's got a nice dedication in it too - To Dawn, Happy Birthday, Love from Linda & Andy. Fascinating uh? This is my 5th - tho one of them has since found its way to the Netherlands. :P

The Internet's a bitch

Category: Life & Me | 11 Comments | Posted 22:39

Well it is tonight anyway. I can only access about half of my regular sites, and everything else sucks too... and to top it all off it's boring as usual. So I think I will be off to bed with my book now.

I had an interview at Asda today, wheee. Not so sure if I want to work for them still - I only really wanna do checkouts, but I bet if I they do give me a job it will be something else. But I'd take it anyway, it's so close to home and it's only temporary after all. Wish I got one of them hospital jobs but I reckon I would've heard from them by now if I had.

So tomorrow the "big weekend" is starting... Miriam arrives at Gatwick at 5.30 & I'll go pick her up. Am very excited! :D But before that much tidying and cleaning must be done, this place looks a state. :| Ja so my bed beckons. Nighty-night!

PS If you come across my nail scissors, let me know. Been looking for them for days! :((

Saturday February 28, 2004


Category: Video | 6 Comments | Posted 13:07

Wheeeeee we're having a party!!!! :D
Yeah you all know that anyway, but I just realised that if we wanna have video transmission maybe I should announce it beforehand and stuff... so here I am.

Um yeah, it should be starting around 7pm tonight and will be broadcast here - it will not be streaming, but updating every minute or so. I'll set it up later, must go pick up Mon :x & squiZZ :x now.


Sunday February 29, 2004

Never drinking again

Category: Life & Me | 10 Comments | Posted 14:59

Until next time of course.

The party was fun fun fun, very fun :D

Lots of alcohol, dancing, chatting, some drama (wooo) and, er yeah that's it.

And now it's snowing, wooo!