Oh the hangover

It's fun tho, the next day you discover what you did the night before by reading comments and chat archives and stuff and you're like "woah!" And you can read blog entries again and they'll sound all new and exciting altho you know you've read them before.

Ahem.

I SO want a Motorola V220!!!!

I am so fucking childish and greedy and immature.

But anyway.

Am SOOOO buying one

Just saying hi...

squiZZ (who is very cute and very mine) is in bed and I will go soon too, but I thought I'd do a quick update since I will be away until Sunday. Drooling over Brian.

Molko.

Of Placebo.

Er anyway. We're having fun. That's all really.

Oh and this is very cool!!!

Byeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Update for all you moaning fuckers

squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ squiZZ

HAPPY NOW!?
Thought so.

PS my trip to France (in the comments)

Another one

I love Monica

Also Craig

And Mel

And Lo

Did this and that...

Drinking mainly. Yesterday was the first time in my life that I started drinking again as soon as I got up in the morning to avoid a hangover. I managed to delay it until 11pm or sth, which was ok cuz I just went to bed then and now everything is more or less ok.

Ja so apart from drinking what did we do... we invaded the MJNI messageboard and flooded it with obnoxious and immature posts (was a lot of fun, tho pissed a lot of people off, hehe, but that's part of the fun of course)... we watched Blackadder and other stuff... and, er... dunno, just lay about mostly.

Ugh I can't remember to be honest and now I'm too lazy to finish this entry.

Absurd LJ thing

(bored? Me? Never!)

I suck V

I am not very good with feelings.
They're so fucking scary!

Votre question était

faut-il désespérer?

I think I miss my dad
faute de mieux...

Mehehehehehehe

I have 24 bruises from my various fights with demented Scots. 3 massive ones on my back and thigh. Those I attribute to my evil bitch of a flatmate, with whom I had a most amusing shaving-gel-fight and general-wrestling-session (incl. getting drenched in the shower) last night. That was before our lovely Bronian guest puked all over LJ's room after getting seriously plastered.

So yeah, we're having a rather full house, and very international too - Scotland overrepresented unfortunately, then a mad Irish woman and a crazy guy from "down under" where they don't fall off the planet (and I still don't get why ). It's muchly entertaining, heeheehee (tho the throwing up session was scaaaaary so I conveniently kept well clear of LJ's room) and I do not miss my Pet® one bit. No no. *shakes head vigourously* (ahem)

Today we're going to... um no idea. *looks at Craig* Probably Arundel. Maybe with a quick trip to Devil's Dyke. It's not raining today you see. Well, not yet but let's be optimistic eh. It rained loads yesterday, but I dragged him and J around Brighton anyway (and bought the most amazing coffin-with-bat bag! Pic later).

PS This is oh so funny (but also ever so sad )

Bumpy riiiiiiiiide!!!!!!

Just to make my Mon happy, hehe. Um yeah so we been to see Harry Potter just now, it was funfun. Before that we did go to Arundel, but not to Devil's Dyke (missed the exit), instead to Ditchling Beacon, and also to the amazing Lancing College Chapel... it didn't rain, which was rather fabulous. I took pictures, which I may share with you at a later date. Or maybe not. Who knows what's gonna happen.

I have been feeling really irritable all day tho, mainly because of my.... well I was now gonna say stomach problem, but really I am just feeling fidgety and prickly and tense and hypersensitive and... very strange all over (tho the center of it seems to be in my stomach... and lower back, intriguingly) I just wanna, I dunno, run around and flail my arms and scream or sth. Sitting still is really hard, but not sitting still is not so much fun on my stomach. And also not so good for lazy people. Craig thinks it's all psychosomatic & stress-related, which it may well be, tho the alcohol certainly has not been helping. But I didn't drink tonight! First time in almost a week.

Er, not much else to say. Maybe I'll just go outside and run along the seafront, flailing my arms and screaming wildly. I think I just need to get away from myself for a bit. Any diagnoses, professional or amateur, are welcome.

Tick-tock-tick-tock

I am slowly driving myself insane.

Actually, not slowly at all.

Yet another questionnaire..

I cannot resist them.
Stolen from Dave

Delayed entry

I don't think there's a limit to how much one can despise oneself.

Re-thinking

I don't like the way this blog represents who I am. How it is all taken at face value, how people try to decipher me through it. This is just a glimpse of me - it is only valid at the very moment of writing, and it is but a fraction of the whole. So much is left unsaid.

I also don't like the way I miss it when I decide to take a break - this urge to write things in here when they really are not worth it. It dictates my life in a way. Bloggable and unbloggable events. How tedious.

There must be another way.

Back and forth

Look, as if nothing had happened. This blog has been online almost 2 1/2 years now. Thought it would be interesting to jump back...

two years - guess where I was? Yep, right here. Fatboy Slim on the beach, Aspa, Kate, sunshine... Great weekend... and they cancelled it for this year, the bastards.

one year - bad poetry. very amusing and I still feel the same. Just stay away if you're untalented. *lol* There is nothing mystical about poetry.

Just yesterday I found myself caught up in a wave of hatred and resentment for one of the people I love the most, and I felt like telling them lots of horrible things about themselves, not because I thought it was gonna make them think or anything... just to voice my frustration. It was over in a minute, but it was so violent and purely self-gratifying... very frightening.

This self-indulgence disgusts me in a way, it's not who I want to be, and sometimes it even bores me. It's been all about me me me lately, I'm blowing it all out of proportion aren't I? I'm even turning into a hypochondriac now. *yawn* But then you try to think of alternatives and it's all so... unattainable and shrouded in vagueness and so much fucking effort! If at least it came with a guarantee of success!

I feel like doing something really extreme & drastic, just to drag myself out of this drab routine - but I know it would be pointless, it would do nothing at all in the end, because it wouldn't address the actual problem (whatever that is). Moving here was drastic enough, and it's done nothing to make me feel better, quite the contrary.

In one of our fights on squiZZcomments (all gone cuz of bloody Pinchpenny) Michelle said something about me "running away" to the UK and back then I thought "what utter rubbish, I am running to something I really love". But she was right of course, at least partly. I was hoping this would cure my dissatisfaction - and in the end it only refocused it.

What a long entry to say nothing at all.

[edit] Lo: nice entry, makes you want to go and drown yourself in the city canal
I love Lo

... later... I am going to Riiiiiiiga to drown myself in the canal with Lo
arrive 17/08 13:20 ... depart 22/08 15:05 ... woooo!!! [/edit]

Allons enfants de la patriii-euh!!!

*giggle*

Making edible stuff

I am bored... and not working on my dissertation as I should... so I've decided to teach you how to make one of my fave foods of the moment... a big bowl of stuff, the premium version! Watch! *hehe*

My MoMA Wishlist

MoMA QNS Box Set - Ltd Ed

You know you want to! My birthday is 10th Sept btw.

Puts a smile on my face...

• Meeting Matty on Saturday!!
• Monday I'll have a Mon!!!
• Tuesday I'll have a d (indeed!! )
• Going to Riga to visit Loooo!! (and not cancelling - promise!!!)
• PS Meeting Matty on Saturday.

Mattttyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Yeah so I'm back from Brighton meeting luuuurvely Matty!
I'm in love. He's so adorable!
His boyfriend rang him 6 times in 3 hours!
They're moving back to the South!!! (yes indeedy! )
We're going to visit squiZZ in Scotland!
We have sunshine!
I am home alone!
I am hyper and I don't need scary ephedra!

PS Soon Mon and d!!

OMFG WOOOOOOO

They're moving back they're moving back
they're fucking moving back!!!

I am sooo excited!!!!

(ahem excuse me)

Slackerbitch fag hag whore!!!

Hooray, fuck me, fuck you, fuck everyone!!!!

"another cheerful entry" (says d, about previous entry, which ended up being cheerful contrary to earlier announcements)

Ja. And another one. I love spending money. I've just spent £25.66 on Amazon (it's so fucking easy and I don't even have "one click™ ordering" enabled) and yes it's making me feel great! So don't tell me money doesn't make you happy. Yes it does!

I have no money. At least not at the moment. I have less than no money (meaning I am kinda overdrawn) - I have one credit card which I can stretch a little but I have 2 foreign holidays to go - but guess what? I don't give a shit! I don't care, spend it all, waste it all, spend money you don't have, I couldn't fucking care less! Spending money makes me happy. Hooray!

Nude in the shower

Oh my God this is so unexpected.... I would like to thank daniel for his inspiration for this video, and for his constant support during its creation, also for his very helpful feedback and his constructive criticism... I could not have done this without you, thank you so much!!!! *starts crying*

Right, ok, enough of that, download it already! (.rm, 331KB)

Etc etc ad lib

It echoes in my brain (I didn't mean it)
Pulses through my veins (I didn't mean it)
I'm the one to blame (I didn't mean it)
Did too much cocaine (I didn't mean it)

Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
looks real cute, her lips are sore
slackerbitch, faghag, whore
always comes back for more

Your memory will fade (I didn't mean it)
you've always had it made (I didn't mean it)
I know you feel betrayed (I didn't mean it)
I just wanted to get laid (I didn't mean it)

Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
looks real cute, her lips are sore
slackerbitch, faghag, whore
always knocking on my door

You come across impure (I didn't mean it)
you're goddamn immature (I didn't mean it)
you act so insecure (I didn't mean it)
you hate me now I'm sure (I didn't mean it)

Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
looks real cute, her lips are sore
slackerbitch, faghag, whore
dripping sex from every pore

Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
looks real cute, her lips are sore
slackerbitch, faghag, whore
such a motherfucking bore.

A Link

Cute story:

The Orange.

Oh and the rest of the guy's site is fun too.

Right

Well.

I'm off.

Bye!

Hello. I'm back.

How can I live without you?

So I have tried it out and I found out that I can live quite easily without the Internet. I didn't miss it one bit (except maybe for news/current affairs, but there's always TV) and when I was bored I did something else instead. I knew that once I got back things would still be the same and I wouldn't really have missed anything.

And it was largely true - well except that Dee and Kal have closed their diaries apparently... but Janie is back and Skyler has a new LJ layout.

So now I'm back and within 2hrs of being online I was frustrated and worried and sad again (and not just cuz I am Monless). Surely that's not the way.

PS Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about what we did and didn't do.
I love Mon and Lo and d.

Places to go, people to visit

(in alphabetical, not chronological, order)

Basel
Hong Kong
Kopenhagen
Løken
Luxembourg
Mainz
Oxford
Paris (planned)
Riga (booked)
Sydney

You not on the list? Leave me a comment!
I need sooooo much money!

The Hytte report

So I'm back from Trysil. Here is my report. I am bored and not tired so this could be long - but that's what was requested by a few people anyway (tho some of them were actually there...)

I suck VI

So I was so wrapped up in my own self pity that I missed everyone's birthday.

I am sorry.

I will make up for it I promise.

AFRICA!!! (formerly: Botswana!!!)

Wooooooooooo!!!!!

Search Engine Referrals

Always fun fun. Well I find them so anyway.
(all links go to Google tho not all referrals come from there)

slave clarissa (top result tho!!)
i hate my dissertation
faith in god (lolol. poor person)
how s brian molko in real life
wheeeeeeeeeee video lol.
motorola v220 comments (no2 result!!)
saggiest breasts well thank you!
bortoqala (only one result - thanks Kal! *hehe*)
do norwegians wear nike shoes LOLOLOL. I believe they do.
clarissa brighton squiz *giggle* again thanks to Kal!
smuggling peanuts LMFAO WTF!? (apparently it's a band)
mostar sanja lol *waves at Sanja*
skyler s humps cats LMFAO!!
beautiful nudes of the U.K. rrright...
google manipulates rankings against michael moore it does?
fetish breaking things ooookay...
wammy heeheehee @ Kal
my head is empty my commiserations
gloria allred hyundai I am worried, very worried!
without a padded bra *snigger*
george bush fanciable oh please!
where in buckinghamshire does angelina jolie live I wouldn't mind knowing myself

And of course still
i hate my mum (not top result anymore tho!)
blowjob (tho still not found the engine that actually lists me there!)

PS i hate sky
i hate being broke
i hate being a cashier
God I am so full of hate

In perspective

I've just been on the beach staring at the vastness of the sea for a while and I have realised two things.

1. If you really want to die it doesn't matter much how you do it. Ok the idea of drowning in the dark and icy sea is not too appealing but compared to the agony of life it is a short and bearable torture.
2. I do not want to drown myself in the sea. It's nice that I could if I wanted, but I don't, I'd rather sit on the beach and watch it. Therefore life can't be so bad after all, and that makes me feel better about myself and about life.

Launchcaaaast!!!!

Wooo been a while since I last used it, had totally forgotten how great it is!
And it has Brandy's Afrodisiac as well now!
What more could I want! And I'm having the greatest songs on now!!!
Come As You Are (Brandy), The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, Wanna Be Startin Somethin'... MAMA SE MAMA SA MAMA COO SA!!!!

Fucking hilarious!

Over Three Hundred Proofs of God's Existence

This is probably only funny for atheists, esp. those who've spent some time arguing with theists or read related boards/newsgroups etc. But it's so so so so funny!!!!!

Lauryn Lauryn Lauryn

Who agrees that she should be forced to sing or sth?

His Eye is on the Sparrow (mp3, 128kbps, 4.12MB)

If I Were....

Stolen from Vega.

If I were a month I would be April.
If I were a day of the week I would be Saturday.
If I were a time of day I would be 0:00.
If I were a planet I would be Jupiter.
If I were a direction I would be left.
If I were a historical figure I would be *dunno - any ideas?*
If I were a liquid I would be Cherry Coke.
If I were a flower/plant I would be a weed.
If I were a kind of weather I would be a thunderstorm.
If I were a musical instrument I would be a harpsichord.
If I were an animal I would be a sloth (of course).
If I were a colour I would be bright orange.
If I were a fruit I would be a kiwi.
If I were a sound I would be a screech.
If I were an element I would be fire.
If I were a song I would be The Fool on the Hill.
If I were a book I would be The Well of Lost Plots.
If I were a place I would be Brighton (esp. North Laine) - (lol ja me too)
If I were a word I would be 'notwithstanding'.
If I were an object I would be a colourful sarong.
If I were a body part I would be the arse.
If I were a facial expression I would be sticking my tongue out (ja hehe).
If I were a cartoon character I would be Xadhoom (hehe).

What the FUCK is wrong with me?

I can't believe the state I'm in.
I'd elaborate but I dunno what else to say.
Nor what to do about it.

I love d

(even tho he cheated on me )

Video: My Day etc

Ja so long time no... yadda yadda. It's about my day (as the title suggests) and about next weekend. Dedicated to lots of people. NO I had nothing better to do in case you're wondering!

- My Day etc (Real Media, 1616KB, 2:38mins)
- My Day etc (Windows Media, 1452KB, 2:38mins)