Wednesday March 3, 2004

I had such an amazing weekend

Category: Randomness | 9 Comments | Posted 2:00

Why did it all have to end in tears?


Thursday March 4, 2004

Keeping myself busy

Category: Life & Me | 3 Comments | Posted 12:03

Heh I thought I'd be a good girl for once... woke up quite early as I'd been to bed at 10, so I decided to clean the flat and all... did quite a bit of it, then quickly came online to check sth... and here I am, 3hrs on, still chatting to people. :| Bad Bad Clarissa.

Will be off again soon tho - no no honest. So this afternoon I was gonna go to the Job Centre to finally apply for Jobseeker's Allowance... but now I got a phonecall from Asda (after all) and I have another interview on Tuesday - for checkouts (woo!) so I'm thinking maybe I should wait? Or maybe I shouldn't... if I apply now I'm more likely to get the job (Sod's law you know). There are also 3 jobs Reed are still trying to get me. *hm*

Tomorrow I'll be off to Luxembourg for a few days (heh I'm still tempted to say "off home" but that's wrong!). There's stuff I need and so on.... my mum's actually looking forward to having me, whee! :)) Will be seeing a few friends and stuff, and horsey obviously and pigs... yeah. I won't have a PC as LJ has the laptop. Will be weird not talking to my friends at all for a few days... ah well, guess I can text. Yeah so obviously no updates until Tuesday. Maybe I'll finally do some work on my dissertation.

Bye for now

Category: Life & Me | 12 Comments | Posted 20:35

Yeah just another quickie... off to bed now cuz tired and in a crap mood. So will see you all on Tuesday or sth... I'll miss you.

Sunday March 7, 2004

For Mon: an Update

Category: Mon & Lo updates | 8 Comments | Posted 15:14

So I'm here at Martine's place using her PC, so I don't really have much time. I only really came here to check train and bus times, but I promised Mon an entry so here goes. I don't really have much to say. It's strange being here cuz I'm not online with my friends, I don't really have anything to do so mostly I sleep and watch TV. Or go & see friends but there aren't really that many I want to see right now.

I've checked all the usual places of course, seems everyone online is depressed, how strangely unsurprising. I'd like to say it's good for me to be offline for a while, and maybe I shouldn't have read the diary entries and message board posts as it only makes me feel worse than I do anyway. But, well, these people are important to me and I can't just get away from them.

Anyway. Everyday stuff. Went to see my horsey... I may well have to sell him, which isn't so great but well I need money. I did some work for my dissertation, tho by far not as much as I should have. And I hate travelling by Ryanair & next time I'll come by car (ha, probably to sell her too, ugh). Hm yeah that's it. See y'all Monday night. I've written a long entry on paper which I'll put online when I get back. To add a bit to the general depressive mood eh.

Monday March 8, 2004

This time last week we had a squiZZ

Category: Randomness | 9 Comments | Posted 22:58

I'll try to make this my last entry about this whole shit, I promise. I wrote it during my stay in Lux when I wasn't feeling too well, to use a slight euphemism. I'm feeling better now. I've not cried all day. It may not last, but maybe things will slowly improve. That would be nice. Time heals apparently. So, the entry.

Continue reading "This time last week we had a squiZZ"
Tuesday March 9, 2004

Another entry

Category: Life & Me | 4 Comments | Posted 0:06

Yeah so I got back from my week-end in Lux... fucking travel, so damn annoying. 19kg suitcase, delayed trains, cold platforms and whatnot... never doing this again. Something like a 7hr journey, I might as well have gone by car. And when I got back BML Me had already gone to bed so was all lonely and stuff. :-( So I came online and chatted to people. As usual. *hehe*

Lux was rather boring - as I mentioned in that previous entry. Tomorrow I have that interview... so maybe soon I'll be a checkout girl again. Sounds good to me - as good as anything else really. I was also thinking maybe I could try to do proofreading & essay formatting for students or sth. Can always put up ads around campus, won't cost me nothing.

Yeah so.. I was gonna say something else, but I can't remember now. I felt better today, no I really did. Travel was tedious but not as dreadful as on my way out. I've found out however that my Lara has gone WAY down in price so I can't really count on making much money out of her and stuff... yeah so will sell Karim first. Wish I didn't have to.

Heh so before I sink back into depression I shall bugger off and leave y'all to it. Will do lots of work on my dissertation tomorrow. I want a thorough dissertation plan to send to Piotr. Hooray for positivity! :D

Checkout giiirrrrrrl II

Category: Life & Me | 29 Comments | Posted 12:39

I am now employed. Checkouts at Asda.
So I lose the race, but I have a job.

- green uniforms
- 10% discount (after 12 weeks)
- 5 min walk to work
- pension plan, end of year bonus, whatnot else
- green uniforms!!
- and plenty of time for my dissertation!

PS :o Googlebot has overtaken Slurp! Tragedy! :(( (if you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, nevermind, hehe)

Wednesday March 10, 2004

Spooked out

Category: Randomness | 5 Comments | Posted 16:42

Just checked out Endsleigh for insurance for our Jareth (yes yes that's our flat), you can get a quote online and stuff. 30 seconds after I'd hit the "give me a quote" button the phone goes and it's them, offering to discuss the quote and maybe give me a better offer - I mean wtf?! The reason I do this stuff online is cuz I don't want to talk to people if I can avoid it! 8-|

Um anyway. Look at my yummy middle-of-the-afternoon-lunch. It was very tasty, and healthy too (and vegetarian). The picture is called "Comfort Food". I like the colours. I cheated of course.

Now I'll have a muffin or something. In case anyone's interested, I've done some work on my dissertation, and I'll do some more now. Probably.

Oreo and Juliet

Category: Photolog | 13 Comments | Posted 19:22

Yeah so thru a chain of coincidences, I happened to come onto a rather vast supply of Oreos. I've never particularly liked them, but I thought it would be a waste to, dunno, not do anything with them, so I decided to go mad with them. Someone has already tested how much is inside a pack of Oreos, so I had to come up with something else. Nothing more logical than to reenact Shakespeare in the very short and slightly alternative Oreo and Juliet, which is basically made up of just two scenes. Says it all really. If you want the whole play by old Will, walk this way.

Yes he drowns himself instead of poisoning himself. Seemed more appropriate. I hope you liked. Now they shall be devoured (in fact our two heroes are long dead). No I don't like them, but I don't hate them either - I just think they're overrated. They're actually quite nice when you soak them in milk until they almost crumble in the mug. *slurp*

Thursday March 11, 2004

Cryptic entry

Category: Randomness | 5 Comments | Posted 15:44

If what has been discussed lately among certain people comes true, then I will be insanely happy. It would be like the island, with almost everybody there. It would be so awesome. :x

Macbeth (the saga continues)

Category: Photolog | 8 Comments | Posted 19:36

Hehe so I couldn't resist... it's the last one tho I promise. I mean, I don't even like Shakespeare! (same as Oreos... which raises the question - am I a masochist? Probably). Ok so there's 3 takes this time - doesn't make any more sense than the previous one if you haven't read the play - so if you're bored, it's right here.

PS Macbeth dies in the end, Lady Macbeth kills herself. BTW, Macbeth is cursed according to theatre actors and must only be referred to as the "Scottish Play", as any Blackadder fan will know. *hehe*

Ok here we go again...

Category: Opinionated | 23 Comments | Posted 23:39

... ja ja I know. But I was just talking to Mon and discussing you-know-what again and we were saying how all these people around us, well not the ones that know us well, but these other online people, they seem to think that what he did wasn't really a big deal at all, and there's these comments on his site going "oh you're a lot more fun now" and "way to go, you've done the right thing" and all that crap, and it's like, ok, well we're actually people you know, and we have feelings, and we feel like shit, and, well, I dunno, you get the impression that everyone just seems to think of us as some sort of cardboard cutouts sitting behind a PC screen and that really it wasn't a big sacrifice to make for his mental health cuz after all we're only online people, we can't have real feelings. Kinda makes me wonder about people. I mean they are online people too and don't they have feelings? :-/

Friday March 12, 2004

I hate the rain

Category: Life & Me | 4 Comments | Posted 20:47

Achievements today: none.

Well I got quite a bit further in The Sims: Bustin' Out. So yeah I've rediscovered my GBA. Did a tiny bit of studying - like, 30mins, ugh. And apart from that... nothing. Fascinating how days can go by without, I dunno, anything happening. My life sucks at the moment. Must - snap - out - of - this. :|

Saturday March 13, 2004

Snapshots: achievements today

Category: Randomness | 8 Comments | Posted 19:24

300+ pages of Middlesex read

Random drawings & scribblings

Tidy & clean room

Scanned & emailed London postcards

So I don't think that was too bad. I also went for a walk thru Roedean and to Coop but I have no photographic evidence of that. Didn't do any essay work again but not too bothered about that now. It was sunny today, so my mood was better, tho lethargy still prevails. Middlesex is very good. I think I shall go read some more in a minute, as there will be no Mon today and the Net is dead on weekends as everyone knows. Hum yeah. The end. *lol*

To all my Placebo converts

Category: Randomness | 4 Comments | Posted 23:34

Live DVD out on Monday!!!! I am hyperventilating already!! =P~ Finally I can stop watching my crappy digicam mini-films! :))

Oh yeah and also

Category: Randomness | 8 Comments | Posted 23:54

LMAO. So some Paris fire fighter guy has come forward and told the Express what Princess Diana's last words were... big exclusive and all that, so you read on with baited breath... what did she say? Maybe "Charles is behind this" or perhaps "it was MI6"? Um no... she said "what's going on?" :)) :)) :)) Like, how funny is that!? :))

(Please excuse me for random crap posting. It's the hyperness. Wheeee!)

Monday March 15, 2004

A touch of the Divine

Category: Opinionated | 7 Comments | Posted 16:06

Yeah so because of all the drama after Brighton I never really got round to saying anything about the Placebo concerts - so I thought with the DVD out today would be as good a day as any for some marvelment and wondrousness. The concerts were fucking incredible, a true droolfest. Very crowded and very manic at the front, but worth it!

So... Placebo are amazing. Brian Molko is a God - a Sex God to be precise, or in fact, more specifically, the Sex God. Brian Molko speaking French can only be surpassed in sexiness by Brian Molko wearing a hat. =P~ The DVD is soooooooo incredible, I cannot wait for the next concert (15 days) and OMG I wish I'd gone to that Paris show. I could have. Anyway. Now I have the DVD. And another concert to look forward to. And Brian Molko has to marry me!

Tuesday March 16, 2004

Today's advice

Category: Opinionated | 4 Comments | Posted 14:22

Make someone smile and you will smile too. :D

Oh holy jeezus

Category: Life & Me | 7 Comments | Posted 19:13

Fuse blown again.
Could fix but would involve switching off the PC for 10mins (| ...


[edit] fuse fixed [/edit]


Category: Me about me | 4 Comments | Posted 23:06

My life is a lie. I'm not kidding. So is yours if you're reading this, very probably. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but it's very likely that everyone's life is a lie. I cannot be entirely sure, but there isn't that much doubt.

I can see the sea from my window. I find that quite exciting. I like the sea. When it's dark the way it is now I can't make out the limit between the sea and the sky. It's all black then. All the same - air, water, whatever. So I retire to my books. In the books it's always summer, or always daytime, depending. Things are always simple anyway. Always predictable, or if they aren't, at least they're always entertaining. There's always some reason, some motive behind things. And they never concern me directly.

I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high.
But everything we've ever known's here.
I never wanted it to die.

I think (tho I'm not sure) I've come to the conclusion that being insane is very probably the easiest way out. It rids you of so much responsibility. Why should I be one of those who are trying to make things work? It's so much easier to make it all about yourself. If anyone asks you why you've failed in life you can always quote some pseudo-psycho-babble. Who are we trying to impress anyway? In the end we all die. I strongly doubt anything matters. Prove me wrong.

Wednesday March 17, 2004

The private made public

Category: The Web | 5 Comments | Posted 14:59

That's what this whole online community does to people. It's all there for everyone to read and become involved - things that shouldn't be for anyone to read but those it concerns directly. People that don't know half of what went on butt in, give their opinion, defile one side and applaud the other (and yes I'm talking about my friends just as much as his here). It's all about taking sides. Everyone feels they have to side with someone and whoever doesn't earns suspicious looks from both sides because after all, how dare they talk to those people still after what they did. I've been through this before, it's always the same, stupidly alienating people who never had a serious problem with each other.

Continue reading "The private made public"

I'm sooooo broke

Category: Life & Me | 15 Comments | Posted 18:36

Even broker than I thought. Mega-broke you could say. In all my years as a poor student I've never had this little money. Very scary to think that maybe next month I won't even have enough money to pay my bills (even scarier when a lot of them are paid by direct debit). I still haven't heard from Asda, I rang them today but personnel people weren't in. (wtf!? that's why they never get back to you then - cuz they never work!?)

I was gonna visit my Mon :x at the end of the month, had it all worked out incl. permission to stay with lovely Mel overnight, but, well, I really can't afford it. :(( Maybe next month then... if only I get that bloody job.

Suicide Notes

Category: Randomness | 6 Comments | Posted 21:05

So out of boredom I ended up at the Rotten Library again (which, as I have said in the past, makes for very interesting reading & is not sick or full of gore). And they have a page on suicide notes. Some amusing ones:

"Can you believe this crap?"
Jon Erik Hexum (1957 - 1984)

"They tried to get me - I got them first!"
Vachel Lindsay (1879-1931)

Also came across this page of Tips on Writing Suicide Notes. This is meant seriously but again, some of it is amusing: Don't say anything you might regret. There is always a chance that you will be found and "rescued". Suicide notes are not the place to rip into people, give away other's secrets, or confess crimes. The last thing you want is to end up in a hospital bed, facing the people who read something you would never have told them while alive.

Um yeah. That's it, from me, for now.

Thursday March 18, 2004

Another day...

Category: Life & Me | 9 Comments | Posted 12:48

Outside mirrors inside

Inside reflects on the screen

Friday March 19, 2004

Everything's dead

Category: Life & Me | 11 Comments | Posted 17:11

So am I. Nothing happens anywhere - not in my world anyway. I am so so bored. (| I got some work done on my dissertation, but by far not enough and it's all rather discouraging. I'll never get to 20,000 words. I'm also not feeling too well and should go see a doctor but I can't really be bothered. Hum. The (| smiley sums up my life entirely.

Saturday March 20, 2004


Category: Life & Me | 15 Comments | Posted 19:55

So today was the first day of our induction at Asda... got the invitation letter this morning, basically one hour before I had to be there. How nice of them. Was mighty pissed off. So wasted half the day there, now I'm totally knackered, obviously didn't get any uni work done and I have to be back there tomorrow at fucking 8am!!! For fucking 8.5hrs!!! :-& :((

Yeah and now I feel pretty crap again and paranoid and need I mention exhausted so maybe I'll just go to bed and sleep all night until 7.30. (| I hate this I really do.

Sunday March 21, 2004


Category: Me about me | 11 Comments | Posted 18:32

I am a fool. Oh what a fool I am. #-o

Monday March 22, 2004


Category: Life & Me | 10 Comments | Posted 9:55

It's sunny outside! Things are cool! I'm happy! For the first time in ages! Hooray!

To do list for this wonderful day:

- do dishes / clean kitchen
- dust rooom
- register with GP & make appointment
- clean Lara windscreen
- go to recycling centre with rubbish
- work on dissertation (goal: 1000 words)
- buy bog roll (lol)

Stay tuned as I strike out these points, one after the next, in my bid to be active, productive and, er... yeah that's it. :))

I have my Pet® back

Category: Life & Me | 12 Comments | Posted 23:12

Lo: (9:03:54 PM): tell squiZZ and Citz to update :|

Yeah so squiZZ has done, so I thought I'd write my, um, counterpart to his entry. The title is a variant of "I want my Pet® back", a one-sentence-entry which I'd kept as a draft for days but never did publish, and which I finally deleted yesterday for obvious reasons.

Hm so yeah. After, hm *counts* roughly three weeks squiZZ and I are talking again. I know I know. After all the drama and the crying, the hating and cursing and telling myself and getting others to tell me that I needed to, absolutely imperatively had to get away from him, for my own good as well as his, for everyone's sanity and so on, well after all that I've gone and given in as soon as as he came running back on some drunk impulse, gladly forgetting any pride or common sense or indeed brain I may have. How very unlike me. (Or maybe not and I just sternly refuse to admit it.)

But anyway. I know what he did to us was awful, I know he doesn't deserve my friendship, I know he's messed up, I know I'm (potentially or even probably) setting myself up for more shit and abuse and heartbreak; I am also aware that what I'm doing is not quite fair towards other people, those who've patiently listened to my whingeing and offered comfort and advice, and especially those who've also been hurt and who may now have the impression that I'm running off to the enemy camp.

I do not expect people to understand my choice, and I will not be surprised if they're going to shake their heads and roll their eyes in anticipation of going "I told you so" the next time it blows up in my face. Believe me that I don't expect you all to be there for me next time I come crying cuz evil squiZZ was mean to me again. But fact is, and most people have seen it coming anyway, I love him so much, and miss him so much when I don't have him around that I'm willing to accept the risks it entails. It may be very short-sighted (and this is why I was a fool), but well, I have an addictive personality, therefore cannot stay away from what I know is bad for me and I'm unable to think of long term consequences. (and then there's also the theory that I'm perpetuating my mum's behavioural patterns, but let's not go into that *lol*)

To those more directly involved... I'm genuinely sorry, believe me when I say I didn't intend to hurt anyone. :-( I know it wasn't very well thought through, and it may seem selfish too I suppose. But honest, I really really wish it hadn't come to this. :(( Still I can't keep away. :-s
(this entry wasn't originally meant to sound this negative... ahem.)

Tuesday March 23, 2004

All Apologies

Category: Life & Me | 12 Comments | Posted 17:39

Well my choices are really quite simple.

  1. I can admit that I've made a huge mistake and that I should never have chosen Ally over Monica, that he's not worth hurting her this much and that she's the one who deserves my loyalty and my friendship. Then I'll hope that they'll forgive me and that we can be friends again. I lose my Pet® but I get my wonderful friends back and above all, I do the right thing by not rewarding Ally for what he did. Everyone's happy... well except Ally maybe, but as we all know he doesn't deserve happiness anyway. And me, but according to the law of 'time heals all' I will get over him eventually and all will be cool.
  2. I can decide that even though I know I've made a huge mistake, I still cannot live without Ally at this point in my life and therefore I betray my friends' loyalty and accept that they're very hurt and stop talking to me. In all probability Ally will have another fit in a few weeks or months, leaving me crushed again and I will have no Mon this time to share the pain with. (Alternatively if Ally and I can make it work, he will kill himself in a few years' time and if I'm still not "over him" by then I will be crushed too.) This I knowingly accept too. Evil Ally gets what he wants, learns that he can be a complete tosser and stupid Clarissa lets him get away with it, and he's even surpassed his great hero.
You're wondering how I can even hesitate for one second over this decision right? Well I have no idea. Some say I'm crazy - I probably am. Some suggest I need counselling - quite possibly I do. I obviously don't know what I'm doing, I am irrational and have no willpower, I am self-destructive or masochistic, whatever the case. And as it seems I am very selfish and disloyal and deceitful too.

To be honest I didn't realise I would have to choose. This may seem very naive now, but I wasn't aware that what I did was so much of a betrayal. I knew Mon wouldn't be happy, I won't deny that, and I knew it would be weird and awkward between us. But from the talks we had I also thought that she would understand - well she says she understands - and that it would be ok. Yes I know I'm abandoning her in a fashion, but after all this is my decision and only directly affects me. It was clear from the start that I was more forgiving towards him, less radically condemning, and when she asked me days ago if I'd go back to him I said yes I probably would. This wasn't a concrete issue as we didn't really think the opportunity would ever arise.

If it was the other way round... yes I would be upset, and yes I would probably be jealous too. But would it change my feelings towards Mon? I don't think so. I've given this much thought since Mon asked me yesterday and have come to the conclusion that no, I would not stop talking to her. I would understand her decision (obviously since I would have made the same one, as I've just proven), and I would accept the situation too - after all Mon and him were very close friends, have known each other for years, and there is much worth saving. I would definitely accept that, and I would also try to accept my position of being the one who's left behind (tho I may not be happy about it). OK as it is, it's this way round, and it may seem that there is less worth saving. I have never claimed to miss or love him more than Mon - all I can say is that based on how much I love & miss him and my personality/weakness I could not help but want him back despite what he had done to all of us.

As I've said before I don't expect people to condone or understand what I have done. That would be foolish. But I did think they would believe me that I am very sorry about it, and that I do not feel happy or great about my decision or the current situation. Things aren't always black or white, as it is this is a no-win situation for pretty much everyone involved. But you must believe me that I am not proud of myself for this, and that I know it's oh so wrong, but that I simply cannot help it - pathetic as it sounds.

I have tried to stay away, I honestly have. The fool entry originally read "I've been a fool" and I wrote it because I'd just decided to do the right thing and stop talking to him again. The e-mail to let him know was all written and ready to be sent - and when he came online I never managed but started talking to him instead. Similarly, this entry started out as "Weighing my Options" and was meant to tell people that I would take a few days off to think it all through on my own... well you can see where it went pretty much from the beginning.

So yeah. I don't know what else to say except - again - that I am sorry. Obviously if people don't believe that there is nothing I can do. I do love Mon tremendously, I really do. But looks like the one I'm addicted to is Ally. I did not choose this. God I sound so dreadfully melodramatic. Sorry about that too.

Wednesday March 24, 2004


Category: | 10 Comments | Posted 16:26

Yeah most of my latest entries seem to have been about online and stuff, so I thought I'd do a "this was my week" entry or sth... it's actually been quite boring so far, mainly work, except on Monday where I got all that stuff done - except the most important, that bloody dissertation (I am so getting another extension!!).

Yeah so work is ok, it's still induction week but I'm basically on checkouts most of the time. It's fun... sometimes it gets a bit monotonous, but it's ok. People can be cute. It's better than teaching believe me! :| And it's money.

Speaking of money, I got a bank statement today telling me that my mom has sent me some money... quite a bit actually, so I am not so broke anymore. That's quite nice. :D

Work again tomorrow, then Friday off. I have an appointment with my GP (hehe, my GP, yes I've registered) ... and then work again Saturday. I still don't have my proper working hours 8-|, they're so bloody disorganised, I wanna, like, visit people and go to Paris and stuff! X( Yeah anyway, I will find out tomorrow tho. We don't get holidays the week before and after Easter... so I can probably forget about Paris. But we'll see.

Ok and now I'll do my dissertation. No honest! Or maybe some more chatting. Well, and my dissertation. That involves switching off my music. I will do that right now. No honest! Ahem. Byeee.

RAINBOW (wow!!)

Category: Photolog | 10 Comments | Posted 17:33

So I was sat at the PC working on my dissertation (no honest!) and looked out the window and saw the most amazing rainbow!! Not seen one this bright in ages, if ever! So I took loads of pics. Here are the two best ones. Enjoy. :P

Continue reading "RAINBOW (wow!!)"
Thursday March 25, 2004

Feeling today

Category: Me about me | 8 Comments | Posted 21:23

:D :-s :(( :| :yay (|

A bit of all of those. Aah how I love feelings. Not. *sigh*
But I'll try to focus on the :yay now.

Friday March 26, 2004

For Lo: Achievement

Category: Mon & Lo updates | 5 Comments | Posted 23:28

Got some 800 words written today. That's pretty good. Wish I managed that everyday.

There. Updated. Happy? :))

Saturday March 27, 2004


Category: Randomness | 6 Comments | Posted 20:36

Our solar system is heliocentric.

My life is Locentric. That's kinda similar.


(I'm mad I know)

Sunday March 28, 2004

Yet again: Advice

Category: Randomness | 14 Comments | Posted 13:47

You know sometimes when you're poor/broke/penniless and doing your laundry costs rather a lot (£1.60 per washing plus around £1 for drying) and you don't have enough dirty laundry for separate white/dark/colours washloads, well sometimes you may decide to wash whites and colours together?

Don't do it. Unless you like pink. :| (or whatever other colour you have in there that comes off and dyes your whites in a nice pale hue)

I bought a spatula

Category: Life & Me | 14 Comments | Posted 20:04

Yes that's right, a wooden spatula. At Asda and it was only 24p. That's Asda price! *taps pocket* Did you know Asda have pocket tap days or sth like that? They're insane. I'm actually totally anti-big-corporations-and-their-scary-brainwash-customs... so I should be anti-Asda too. Ah well they pay the bills (ok they don't, but part of the bills... a small part, er, of the bills :-s).

Yes apart from buying a spatula, I did my laundry as you know, I jogged around Sussex Uni campus (13mins, steep hills, sore knee), wrote around 500 words on my dissertation (more to come hopefully), rollerbladed into town and back, entered a competition on Radio1 and failed to win a trip for 2 to see Janet Jackson in NYC, and washed my hair. Such was my day.

I only wrote this so I'd have a slightly longer entry again for a change. I took a pic of the people at Brighton beach, maybe I should post that too? See there's this thing about Brighton, on the first mildly warm weekend of the year, thousands of people flock down here to clog up our beach and our roads... today seems to have been that weekend as there were no spaces left in any of our car parks and so I decided to go into town to see people. I was a bit late so most were gone, but anyway, here's a pic.

Tuesday March 30, 2004

I think I better leave right now

Category: Life & Me | 8 Comments | Posted 0:20

Can't get that bloody song out of my head! Ok I actually like it. I don't care much for Will Young tho. Usually. But cute song.

Anyway. Worked fucking 8.5hrs today, bloody Asda! X( Need to suck up to them tho cuz I want my hours changed. Don't wanna work from 12... my excuse is I might get a part time morning job... only thing is if they say no can do and then I'm late on Friday next week cuz of plane delays, they will probably go /:) *ahem*

So yeah I'm off to Glasgow next week to visit squiZZ :x and his lovely flatmate (:-s)... Tuesday to Friday. Should be fun. Stressful but fun. Tho the Pet® keeps making a fuss cuz I said I won't drink. :|

Tomorrow I'm off to London for some Brian-drooling yet again. One last time. :-( But there's always 3rd July in Arras, France... (;;) in the general direction of Glasgow). Am off work til Friday. Wrote 600 words this morning. Doubt I'll get anything written tomorrow. I need more money so bad. :|

Wednesday March 31, 2004

Anything but work: Firsts and Lasts!

Category: Memes | 6 Comments | Posted 17:54

Stole this from Skyler... I need a break from my dissertation after having written all of 230 words. :|


First job: editorial trainee at one of our newspapers (it was paid so it's a job, hehe)
First best friend: Stephanie & her brother Christian. I was 4.
First car: Blue Opel Corsa (Vauxhall Nova for you UK people).
First real kiss: The guy was called Jean and annoyingly clingy. :))
First self purchased album: :-? I have no idea. Possibly Modern Talking (shush German speakers!)
First funeral: Some great-uncle or something.
First piercing: My ears, at 9 I believe.
First Tattoo: Soon... maybe. :|
First credit card: LOL. The ones I got with my student account in 1997.
First enemy: Um... probably the bullies from primary school.
First Crush: :-? Interesting question. I honestly don't remember. Some singer no doubt, and no, not MJ.
First big trip: Um... what's a big trip as opposed to a small one? First holiday was Greece at 4... first non-Europe trip Tunisia when I was, er, 11? And first "far away" trip Texas in 1995.


Last Cigarette: I've had one cigarette in my entire life, when we had a huge emotional argument at home and I was such a wreck I needed one. :|
Last Alcoholic Drink: 2 weeks ago.
Last Car Ride: 4hrs ago.
Last Good Cry: Um... probably around 2 weeks ago as well.
Last Film Seen at the Cinema: Um.... *looks around for help* LOTR? Don't think I've been since. :-?
Last Book Read: The Case of the General's Thumb -- Andrey Kurkov.
Last Film Rented: Good God. I barely ever rent films, so no idea.
Last Bad Word: Probably "fucking" something or other.
Last Food Consumed: Weight Watcher's Fisherman's Pie. (oh and coconut bars... :wh)
Last Phone Call: Annoying Sky people just now.
Last TV Show Watched: Sex and the City. Oh and Simpsons on the PC.
Last Shoes Worn: Nike trainers.
Last CD Played: Jacques Brel - Quinze Ans d'Amour.
Last Item Bought: Brian poster. Ah no, Asda shopping.
Last Download: Big Fish movie, which doesn't bloody work. X(
Last Annoyance: being locked out yet again. :|
Last Disappointment: um... that the nice weather didn't last? Dunno.
Last Soda Drunk: Diet Coke.
Last Thing Written: Boooring dissertation.
Last Words Spoken: "ok thanks, bye" or something to that effect (to the Sky guy)
Last Sleep: at the cemetery this afternoon, in the sun. :D About 90mins.
Last Time Amused: just earlier, by a thread on Simply which most of you can't access, hehe. :P