Life goes on – the past remains

Posted on January 23rd, 2011 @ 13:19 in Uncategorized

I have noticed that now that I don’t have a project anymore, my weekends (consisting of surfing aimlessly and watching lots of DVDs) seem very long and… pointless. Thus I really need a project again. Maybe it also has something to do with not hating my job anymore – not dreading the Monday means time doesn’t fly quite so fast.

I don’t really have anything of substance to say. I have religiously been writing 100 words a day on, so once they go public at the end of the month I will link them. I don’t think I’ll keep doing this for the rest of the year, it’s surprisingly hard to keep coming up with ideas, and I don’t want to just write blog-style entries, cuz, well, that’s what this is for.

Therapy is still going well. I had a moment a month or so ago where I was questioning the utility of it, but I think we have come to a point again now where we’re actually moving forward and “getting things done.” Some of the stuff involved in it is quite scary tho – well all of it is, really. Talking about it is all well and good, but the next logical step would be to step out of your comfort zone, and eek! Sorry for being so vague, but it’s all rather personal and… not necessarily stuff that I wanna expose here, just yet.

I’ve also been doing some digging in my past again, by way of this here blog and chat archives. It’s usually a bad idea, tho sometimes it’s interesting to look at events from a distance. This for instance is almost humourous in retrospect, whereas this [protected] is still more raw and… confusing? I think I haven’t come to terms with my feelings about it yet. I have gained some clarity tho with regards to the situation, which was essentially doomed from the start (and I knew it!), and will probably remain hopeless. But I’m still having a hard time accepting that reality and moving on – tho of course it’s not even a fraction as painful as it was then. So hopefully this too will fade with time.

Generally I think I miss the olden times, when we all used to chat online for hours. But life moves on, right? And circumstances change. We must always look to the future. Or some such nonsense.


Elj said on Jan 25, 2011 at 11:37 am

(sidenote: I find it quite amusing (re. the first old entry you linked to) how dismissive you were of a certain person’s comments. I remember that and would silently applaud you whenever you did it, lol. Bloody annoying they were).

Yeah. Those days really were special. At the very least, they made us feel alive. And part of something. All gone now, of course. So we’re all left a bit… lost. Yep. I like to think if I could travel back there, I’d do things differently. It’s nonsense of course, I’d make exactly the same mistakes.

Clarissa said on Jan 25, 2011 at 8:54 pm

lol @ person. Yes indeed. They were… weird.

And yes, agree about the rest. Incl. the mistakes. *lol*

Don said on Jan 31, 2011 at 5:02 am

It never occurred to me to link from my blog to 100words. I like the idea, except … I can’t, because early on I thought of it as a very private space and wrote something I don’t want out in the light.

I guess that’s the way it has to be, then.

So I’m here because your Jan 30 thing said you like warmer climates but not big spiders and I just wanted to say there really are lots of warm places without big spiders. Such as where I live.

I always wanted to see Brighton, though. I used to correspond with a blogger who lived there but she apparently dropped off the net.

There. Hope I’m not being too friendly or something. 🙂

Clarissa said on Jan 31, 2011 at 6:55 pm

[lest people think I am rude, I have responded to Don on his own blog, heehee]


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