Here’s the thing tho…

Stuff. There is so much stuff and sometimes it is overwhelming.

I really can’t pretend I don’t have it easy. Mostly. I mean, easier than the majority of humans. But even so, sometimes it seems really hard. There is so much negativity, so much unpleasantness and depressing stuff going on. So many people are so stupid and/or vile (often both). So much stuff is breaking. Politics and environment and society and health and and and. And it all reinforces each other, like, it feels like everything is going in the wrong direction and feeds on everything else. It is so exhausting and dispiriting.

And then I have stuff that hurts and never fucking stops. I seem to have headaches more days than not and haven’t managed to break the cycle in forever. It’s a constant fucking struggle. Before I start the day, I have to fix the headache, or get it down to a bearable level. Before I go to bed, I have to do my best to not rekindle the headache – and most nights I fail, anyway. Some days I am completely non-functional. And then the days where the headache is just this constant grating background presence.

I’m also tired a lot, I feel way less in shape than I was a year ago, and I don’t know if it’s post-Covid or my thyroid or my nutrition or my head or I’m just not exercising enough, and that is a drag, too.

Mentally, mostly, I’m okay I guess? But I can’t say I am happy with where I am. Which is why I’m whining! Gotta use this blag for something.