Another one of these…

Posted on August 17th, 2010 @ 23:16 in Uncategorized

I think I have finally reached the “I’ve had enough of these daily updates” point. But of course I will keep going for another two weeks, whingeing copiously all the way.

I was thinking today of booking a beach holiday to get a bit more sun. It’s been dysmal so far, apart from a few nice weeks in late June. But beach holidays are so very un-me. I might get bored after two days? Maybe I should book something non-beachy in a hot country. Egypt? Ah, that reminds me I have no valid passport, which limits me to Europe. Sicily perhaps. Need to get as far South as possible cuz I don’t think I’ll be able to go before October. Or perhaps I should renew my passport and book somewhere REALLY FAR later in the year. Southern Africa perhaps. I’ve also been drawn to California lately, in part due to an iPhone game I’ve been playing set in San Franscisco. But that is oh so very far. Tho I could go to Forest Lawn. Which would also be very untypical for me, not being a grave pilgrim.

I need a new tattoo. Found some old e-mail correspondence with Alisdair at work yesterday where he (semi-)jokily suggested I should get “My oh my” (as a quote from my beloved Song to Say Goodbye). Am actually considering this now. *lol* Also need to work again on my “skyline of my favourite places” idea. Could get that as an ankle ring (without the rainbow). But then I’d need a bit more than just New York and Paris to go all the way around. Or I could get a little rainbow, on its own, while deciding on the skyline. I suspect it will take me another few months before I decide on anything at all.

I brought some gold coins with me from Lux with the intention of selling them and… I dunno, having more money. I’ve just realised how inherently stupid that is when a few months ago I was so worried about hyperinflation that I considered investing all my money in gold, rather than the other way round. *lol* Cursory googling suggests they’re worth a ridiculously large amount of money for four small coins (well they’re rather large for coins, but you get what I mean). When I researched gold a few months ago I found out all my cash in gold could fit in a cereal carton. Funny thing, gold.

Money too is a funny thing. I love the stuff. Mainly for what it can buy me of course, but also just for… having it. I want more and more of it – preferably without having to work for it. I’ve already started planning what to do with my nan’s inheritance, and she isn’t even dead yet, and may well live for another ten years. I guess that makes me a cruel, cold-hearted bitch (as cold as the feeling of a gold ingot in my hand, muahaha!). But really, I just put up this front to hide my true feelings of vulnerability and fear of abandonment. That’s also why I eat so much. *lmao*

Which reminds me that I really need to start therapy again. That was the plan at the beginning of the year (as I’ve said a few times already I believe), but then got eclipsed by the “it’s summer, gotta have fun!” strategy. Once summer is over though. and the days become shorter and colder and more depressing again (ha! not that they’re warm and sunny now), I will get myself a therapist and do some serious ground work on my bright and fulfilled future. Oh happy days!

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