Tuesday October 26, 2004

It's time to breathe

Category: Me about me | 0 Comments | Posted 13:37

Is there a positive equivalent of regression?
Regression: Relapse to a less perfect or developed state.
What if you find you have developed in a way that you do not like, and you want to return to what you were before? I'm sure there's a word and I just can't think of it right now cuz my head is muddled.

While attempting to pick up the shattered pieces of my life I am finding comfort in people and friendships of the past. Some I had to actively start up again, like the one with Chris (yes Chris the bastard), some just had to be rekindled slightly, like those with Kristin or Caroline or Aniko, some had always remained but are now much more active again (my wonderful beloved Katja who now finally has broadband)...

I suddenly find myself surrounded again by the people that dominated my life years ago - before I got drawn into this strange circle of friends that proved so intense and exhausting and all-consuming And those people seem like a true graspable alternative, and I am hoping they will give me the structure and the support I need to free myself of this. Not abandon the new friends I have found, not make it all come undone... just break their spell over me and open up again to that other life I once had. And then maybe be able to savour it all, past, present and future.