Thursday March 11, 2004

Ok here we go again...

Category: Opinionated | 23 Comments | Posted 23:39

... ja ja I know. But I was just talking to Mon and discussing you-know-what again and we were saying how all these people around us, well not the ones that know us well, but these other online people, they seem to think that what he did wasn't really a big deal at all, and there's these comments on his site going "oh you're a lot more fun now" and "way to go, you've done the right thing" and all that crap, and it's like, ok, well we're actually people you know, and we have feelings, and we feel like shit, and, well, I dunno, you get the impression that everyone just seems to think of us as some sort of cardboard cutouts sitting behind a PC screen and that really it wasn't a big sacrifice to make for his mental health cuz after all we're only online people, we can't have real feelings. Kinda makes me wonder about people. I mean they are online people too and don't they have feelings? :-/


Of course that's crazy. Everyone is a real person with real feelings. I don't think of myself as an "online" person. Do you guys?....That was a real friendship. We all met him online, but then we met him in real life and had good times. Maybe they don't know any better, but when a friend hurts you it is very very real. And I thought he was going to spend more time offline meeting 'real' friends? What's up with that?

bye bye.

Posted by: Jimmy at Fri March 12, 2004 2:35

"And I thought he was going to spend more time offline meeting 'real' friends? What's up with that?"

Maybe his "real" friends aren't as great as he/they claim/s. Apparently his best friend Meeko has watched him sink into this scary internet world and get more and more depressed the last two years (as he proudly stated himself) without doing anything about it. Which has made me reach the conclusion that "real" friends are the ones who CAN do something to help but simply don't bother to do so. And the un-real friends are the ones who would gladly cut off an arm or a leg just to see him happy and well, and constantly try to challenge and push him into doing something to change things (but really can't do anything else because of the distance). Since Ally doesn't see that he has a problem, of course he prefers the "real" friends. He can run and he can hide, but sooner or later he will discover that the only person he's trying to get away from is himself.

Anyway, he's made his decision, and I'm off to the gym!

Posted by: Jar Jar at Fri March 12, 2004 12:01


"you can't run away from your pain... (...) You have to learn to water your spiritual garden"

Posted by: miriam at Fri March 12, 2004 13:08

"and there's these comments on his site going..."

On HIS site - so its not as if these comments are aimed at you!

Posted by: Anonymous Irish Person (AIP) at Fri March 12, 2004 13:10

Indeed @ everyone esp. Mon, and indeed at the Janet quote.

>> but sooner or later he will discover that the only
>> person he's trying to get away from is himself

But will he? He's had years to discover it (and enough hints from people and from life) and so far he's successfully avoided it. Well, no, I think he knows it but does everything to avoid properly acknowledging it.

Elaine I didn't say they were aimed at me, and I didn't say "oh these people are insulting me personally", I just said this was the impression I had about people's attitude. It's just as much about the stance you take towards him after what he did.

Posted by: Clarissa at Fri March 12, 2004 13:53

True. I mean, it's obviously affected you in a big way, and it's not like you'd act it all out...

Don't know why, but I'm reminded of that cool 403 Not Found page you linked to once - where the server had feelings. LOL That was funny.

Posted by: Woods at Fri March 12, 2004 16:51

I watched him sink and done nothing? Nah, I think you'll actually find that in his "real" life, I was the one always actively trying to get him to do stuff instead of sitting in front of his computer all the time, only to be rejected countless times, but still offering in vain anyways.

Posted by: Meeko at Fri March 12, 2004 17:32

Well Meeko, if I had been living with a person who is depressed, who has eating problems and who frequently cuts or harms himself in other ways (+ God knows what else) I would have dragged them to a doctor, and/or spoken to their parents.

It feels a bit wrong to be "judging" you like this since I don't know you at all or know what you have done or haven't done, but on the other hand you clearly feel like you are in a position to judge us and more or less "blame" us for the fact that Ally has left his old "real" friends and instead wasted most of the past two years online. (However, I guess I can't blame you for that since this seems to be Ally's opinion too.)

If you know him as well as you say you do, I'm surprised you don't see that "we" are not what's fucking up his life. He's fully capable of doing that himself. The only thing that has changed after he cut us off is that he has two or three people who actually cared about him less in his life.

Posted by: Jar Jar at Fri March 12, 2004 18:13

Aye. *agrees with Mon as usual*

>> but still offering in vain anyways

You know what it feels like then eh.
Well now that he's rid of us I guess you should be more successful.

Posted by: Clarissa at Fri March 12, 2004 19:03

I have only lived with him for a few months. I was not aware he had all these problems until very recently.

Im not blaming you guys for his hermit like behaviour, it is his own fault. I do think though that he has more chance of becoming more active in the real world again if he doesnt sit talking to you guys each of his waking moments.

Im very sorry that this hurts you guys in the meantime, but I have to side with my friend here and agree that he was right. Whether he actually lives up to his new plan of getting more involved in real life or not, at least he is gonna try and give it a shot.

Posted by: Meeko at Sat March 13, 2004 12:15

I understand Clarissa, cuz yesterday I found his site and read it. I shouldn't have, cuz what I read was the stuff you mentioned "you're entries are so much better now after you know what".
That I felt was just aimed at "us".


Posted by: tris at Sat March 13, 2004 12:53

who is this tris that called me an idiot. you prob wont read this coz its so far down but excuse me for having a life and not being on line over the weekend.
Sorry if because i think ally is a happier person and his posts are more positive these days that you think im an idiot.
And Miss C - i have two on line name and you choose to you my real name. i have never met you before - you have no right to use my real name thank you very much.
streetwalker2/miss no name - the choice is yours!!

Posted by: AIP at Mon March 15, 2004 11:57

Don't post anonymously on my comments then. If you'd used one of them I would have used that too.

Posted by: Clarissa at Mon March 15, 2004 13:14

I think you're missing the point of the original post, miss Elaine no name.

Let's say a person named Monica kills a person called Clarissa, and this makes Monica really happy because she enjoys killing people. Then hopefully the rest of their neighbours realise that "Hey! This Monica person did something wrong, perhaps I shouldn't cheer her on and tell her how much happier she seems and how much more interesting she is after she killed Clarissa. Especially because maybe, just maybe, a person called, say... BML, might be a bit sad about the whole thing."

(NB: I'm aware the person this entry is about has not killed anyone. Well as far as I know. I'm simply trying to use an example that might be easier for you to understand.)

Posted by: Jar Jar at Mon March 15, 2004 16:06

Easier for me to understand!! Eh whatever!

And PLEASE dont use my fucking name - spa!!

Posted by: AIP at Tue March 16, 2004 9:39

Posted by: Dee at Tue March 16, 2004 11:41

You're very charming Elaine.

Now go and play with squiZZ. Ta-ta.

Posted by: Jar Jar at Tue March 16, 2004 11:45

@ MonMon.

Streetwalker2, don't you like your name? I think it's very nice. *g*
Where's all that anger of yours coming from anyway. Relaaax.

Posted by: Clarissa at Tue March 16, 2004 12:18

Nicer than Nadia anyhow

Posted by: AIP at Tue March 16, 2004 14:35

Actually I like my name way better than yours. Both of them.

Posted by: Clarissa at Tue March 16, 2004 14:49

Yeah reminds me of a porn star.

Posted by: AIP at Tue March 16, 2004 16:56

LOL I wonder who's being abusive now. (hey the good thing about having a porn star namesake is that it's hard for people to pick out references to yourself, lol)

God Ally's new-(or re-)found friends seem SOOO lovely. Good on him to have made that change!

Posted by: Clarissa at Tue March 16, 2004 17:51

@ Jar Jar and Citz

Posted by: Dee at Wed March 17, 2004 10:20