Sunday September 7, 2003

My mum's a bitch

Category: Life & Me | 12 Comments | Posted 1:01

She's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the... ok I'll get over myself, I know I will. Am just in a foul mood right now. She is a bitch tho.

So I had a wedding today. A friend's wedding. Wasn't a hugely exciting thing, had known for ages, had agreed to go ages ago, didn't mind. Wasn't that keen on going today but knew would be fine.

Then suddenly realised 1/2hr before I was meant to leave I didn't have a present. I mean, I'd just fucking forgotten! I'm not a very social person, I'm anything but trained in those customs, I don't have that automatic "oh I need to do this-and-that" reflex that most people in this country have! So I shared my shock and embarrassment with my mum, in the hope of getting advice or comfort, and what does she say? "Yeah that's what happens to people who only ever think of themselves."

Evil cow! X( Acting all shocked about how BML Me's parents make her feel like crap. Pretending she doesn't do that, and that she's never malicious, no one ever was in this family, nooo, we all loved each other and anything vicious was only ever meant as a fucking joke! We were poking fun at each other! When my dad called my mum a "stupid cow", he was poking fun, when my mum & dad called me disgustingly fat, it was all fun, and when my parents' reaction to any achievement I'd made was "no? serious? How could that have happened?" it was all meant as a friendly joke!

And I was the only stupid bitch who wouldn't get it, wasn't I! God, I would always over-react, that tiny retarded minority in our big massive family community! (you're right, I represented 30% of the whole thing). They had this whole "chuckle nudge huh huh" rulebook apparently. No no, they NEVER fought and NEVER misunderstood each other. And I was thick and not clever enough to understand the subtle fun-poking habits of this fucking screwed up family! Lived here all of 20 years and never fucking got it! Stupid, stupid me!

Because seriously, my mum has always believed in me, she just never knew how to fucking tell me! So she chose instead to knock me over the head every fucking chance she got. It was her way of showing me she loved me. No honest! I was just too fucking stupid to get it! Better hit me once more for not understanding!

It was all for my own good, really! See, she didn't want me to end up like my complete loser of a father, so she chose not to make me feel too good about myself. Rather she wanted me to feel like a complete failure who couldn't even find her own way around a foreign town. Then when she jeered at me about how I'd get us lost in Paris Métro, she failed to understand how I didn't see the joke. And shouted at me for being offended.

It was all my own fault you see. How could I not get it? That time, the previous time, that other time... any time really. How could I take it personally? How irrationally oversensitive I was. And no, she'd never even consider making vicious remarks like "You only ever think about yourself". And "you're disgustingly fat". I must have imagined that. Cuz we all love each other.

  Comments

Oh Clarissa... don't know what to say really. Except that I think that you're a really lovely person!! One of the nicest online people I've ever met, seriously! Don't let anyone get you down!

Posted by: Suha at September 7, 2003 02:10 AM

Aaaaw thanks darling
Been for a walk and taken a breath, so I feel much better now.

Posted by: Clarissa at September 7, 2003 03:11 AM

Citz ist wunderbar.

Posted by: Lo at September 7, 2003 09:06 AM

Glad you're feeling better now. Sometimes it helps to just sleep over it. At least that's the case for me when I'm so angry about something. The next day everything looks different. :)

Posted by: Suha at September 7, 2003 10:58 AM

@ Lo.
Yes am caaaalm now. Have actually changed fucking bitch to evil cow.

Posted by: Clarissa at September 7, 2003 02:30 PM

*hug*

Posted by: Evelien at September 7, 2003 03:43 PM

ta!

Posted by: Clarissa at September 7, 2003 07:51 PM

MINE

Citz Me, you are the most wonderfullest person I know. EVVUR. And mum's... well, they don't get it. They have no idea how their words sting us. They seem to genuinely believe their ribbing and ... you know, little digs somehow will make us better people. Stronger or whatever. I guess they think if they nag us enough, we'll start to listen.

But it's not nagging tho... you know? Naggin's playful.

Is just meen, evvul and crool.

But you mine anyway. And soon will kidnap and keep under bed. Take out occasionally and cuddle.

Wub oo.

Posted by: The BML at September 7, 2003 07:56 PM

Hey Citz:

oh my I feel so sorry for u. I hope u are better and take comfort in the real love we online people are giving u. ) ;)

Posted by: RS78 at September 7, 2003 10:30 PM

that was so uncalled for.

Posted by: miriam at September 8, 2003 01:17 AM

You're all sweet-hearts. We kinda discussed it tonight (she brought it up), my mum said she realised later I wasn't selfish so much, just absent-minded; and that her comment was meant to be educational and she'd been hoping to make me think (just what BML Me and I have worked out re: our parents and their vicious remarks).

Posted by: Clarissa at September 8, 2003 01:35 AM

my mum is such a fat bitch she can't walk. She such a moody old bat you get better thngs coming from up a cows ass, mind you my mum has a bigger ass than a cow tho. I hate her so mush. All she does is complain saying how hungry she is and she does to much but all she does is sit on her fat fucked up piece of dumbass shit ass and does absoultly jack shit all. I HATE MY MUM MORE THAN SADDAM HUSEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: loz at October 28, 2003 04:58 PM