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Clarissa 29 Brighton UK. Atheist asexual cynic. Loves green. Hates kids.
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Apparently "I love my boys" is old news so instead I'll tell you I'm not autistic
Tue, Apr 25 2006 @ 22:35   //   Category: Mon & Lo updates   //   7 comments

According to this test anyway. Not that I thought I was. I am merely lazy, misanthropic and antisocial.

I'm updating trying to update because Lo demands it. I was also gonna do a new layout featuring the incredibly lovable Thomas and his sidekick but then I decided I needed more pics. And more pics I will get because guess where I will be this weekend? :wh Yes, with my incomparably amazing boys! :D :x =P~ (repetitiveness is a symptom of autism too =)))

There were a few things I wanted to but didn't say in Sunday's update. Now I can't remember them, so I will have to say other things. How inconvenient that my mind is blank. I could mention that during my stay in Lux I started the 100th or so attempt at writing "that entry" about why I hate my father - the one that will probably never see the light of day. :)) I am proud to say I got considerably further than at previous attempts tho. But I still hate what I've written so I'll have to start from scratch next time I try. *lol* Also - tho I doubt anyone will read it - I found this an interesting thread about people & their (absent) fathers.

I have recently been kind of annoyed at Michael Jackson. I can't even remember why now, just something I read before I left here that reminded me of his general incompetence at dealing with his problems at the moment (tho according to squiZZ that is a mistaken assumption), and it just pissed me off. Then while I was in Lux one of my friends asked sth like "so whassup with MJ?" and I replied "ugh he's a fool" and she went "ah, finally!" because she interpreted it as "I'm over him". What was she thinking!? :)) Surely after all these years she can't still be expecting I will ever stop being a fan!? :-?

Oh oh! I found some cheesy plastic HIStory tour "victory sign" hands in Trier. 1 each, I bought two, but I left them in Lux cuz I couldn't fit them in my suitcase without crushing them.

Ah ja, I also told people back home I would definitely stay abroad until I'm thirty, and then I'd see. It was something I semi-decided after trying to think about what to do with my life, and why I hate Luxembourg so much, and I found I couldn't come up with that many reasons to hate it. I had a weird moment on the train from Mainz - just as I crossed the border Cyndi Lauper's Come on home was playing on my Zen. It goes like this:

Come on home
When the road that you've
Been walking gets too long
Dont be scared
In case the grass you thought was
Greener isn't there
You can come on home

That was not the first time I listened to that song and thought about my own situation. Funnily enough, when I was stuck in Lux all those years ago and wanted out I often listened (and cried) to ABBA's I Wonder (Departure):

I wonder, it's frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing
I wonder, it scares me
But who the hell am I if I don't even try

Ja. But for now I am probably happier here than in Lux. I do have a lot of friends back there, but going back there for 5 days and meeting someone different every day is hardly representative of what everyday life would be like. Bah, I should just call Dani and Claire more often, then I won't need to move back. :)) Besides Luxembourg is very far away from my boys. :|

People say...

Congrats on not being autistic.

Posted by: Mel on Wed April 26, 2006 at 0:26

Thank you Mel!

Posted by: Clarissa on Wed April 26, 2006 at 0:31

I think I find Luxembourg pretty cool.

Posted by: Michelle on Wed April 26, 2006 at 22:02

You could move there

Posted by: Clarissa on Wed April 26, 2006 at 22:09

What you hate about Lux (most probably) is that it's conservative and that a lot of people are narrow-minded. I find it pretty cool to have 2 homes, like you do. When you come back to Lux for a short time, it makes it more intense... all your friends and activities are concentrated in a few days...

Posted by: Val on Wed April 26, 2006 at 23:18

^^ My English sucks, I think... time for a trip to the UK!

Posted by: Val on Wed April 26, 2006 at 23:21

your english doesn't suck. you just use too many commas

and ja maybe @ coolness of having 2 homes.
and yes indeed @ my reasons for hating.

Posted by: Clarissa on Thu April 27, 2006 at 21:38