The Happiness Bug a.k.a. I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!

There, now it’s official I finally get to talk about it on here at great length. I am finally turning my back on my hideous employer and moving on to new, far more exciting pastures!!! Yes, I have a new job, and hopefully I’ll be starting there before the end of the year! How did it come about, you ask? Well, let me tell you the whole dirty story…

As I’ve said before I’ve hated my job for a while now. Then things sort of started to hit the fan two weeks ago when I told one of my coworkers he should do some bloody work. Well, it was a bit more complicated than that, but the end result of it was that my new manager decided it was bullying (the guy was apparently so upset that he had to be sent home) and in turn started blaming everything that had been going wrong in the team since he started on me. It was quite convenient – his management generally had been seriously lacking (srsly! He was barely ever there!), but now he didn’t have to put that into question at all, he could just say it was all my fault. Well, that’s a bit exaggerated of course but that’s actually pretty much what he said. The bad mood in the team was basically all down to me.

This sent me into a flurry of anxiety and anger and resentment (and I’d already been feeling quite unfairly treated anyway, cuz the workloads in the team are just so unfairly distributed, and the slackers get away with doing sweet fuck all because the likes of me tend to pick up the pieces), and I decided to get out of there as soon as I could. I started jobhunting the weekend before last, submitted my CV to 2 or 3 places, and would you believe it, on Tuesday I got a miracle phonecall.

You see, last summer I’d already started looking during a particularly unbearable phase. At that point I had an interview with a gaming company, and they said they loved me but that the position they were looking to fill would be a bit boring for me. But that they were so impressed with me they’d try to find a role for me. And then I never heard from them again, so after the original ego boost I was left hanging. And sad, cuz OMG that company sounded so fun to work for! But eventually I got over it, and forgot about it. And then! Then they called me out of the blue and said they had a job for me now and could I start before Christmas? How frackin’ cool was that!? Literally three days after I’d started putting myself out there again!!!

The whole thing dragged on for another few days cuz they had to get the final OK from the US and it was of course Thanksgiving weekend, but then today I got the final written offer. So tomorrow I am handing in my motherfucking notice, and you can’t imagine with how much glee and satisfaction I am doing this!!! To make matters even more fun, the only other person who’s been in the team as long as me (half a year longer in fact) is also handing hers in, so they’ll be two people short, and in fact two of the three people who do the most work in the team. (yeah I don’t usually like to blow my own horn, but I bust my fucking arse off at that company, and what was the thanks? A fucking threat of a disciplinary for telling someone else to pull his fucking weight! Screw those motherfucking bastards!)

And honestly, this new job sounds so incredibly perfect! Well, it’s still customer service, but it’s a gaming company! And the team sounds sooo fun and nerdy and so much more “me”, no more of that corporate bullshit! And this after I’d been whingeing to my counsellor that I didn’t think I’d ever find a company who’d want me as I am! So now I have the Happiness Bug! Seriously, I didn’t even remember what feeling happy was like! Only once you stop hitting yourself over the head with a hammer do you realise how much it used to hurt. THE RELIEF! It’s undescribable! And, best of all, if Oldjob give me the holidays I am due, I only have to go in THREE MORE TIMES!!!!! (it’s crazy I know, but I have 11 days left, only work 4 days a week, and I’m off next week anyway cuz I’m going to friggin’ Hong Kong!)

I’m still bitter of course, and in true Clarissa fashion I won’t go quietly. I will send one last self-righteous and indignant email to my manager, cc his manager, and hey, if I feel like it, maybe even her manager. (probably not tho cuz he’s a cunt who hates me already for daring to stand up to him in a meeting once. the cheek!) I know I know, I should be more diplomatic and it’s not always about being right, but you know what, YES IT IS in this case! When you’re continually treated like a commodity for the effort you put in, and slapped in the face every time you dare point out something’s not right, then too fucking right I will stand up for myself! I don’t care if they’re a frickin’ Fortune 500 company, that doesn’t automatically make them infallible. Far from it in fact.

Anyway. This entry has the word “Happiness” in the title, so we’re kinda getting off topic here. I AM happy, hugely excited, and actually not dreading the future anymore. I wrote a postcard to the amazing Kat at the weekend, she’s an absolutely incredible person, a modern day hippie like I thought they didn’t make them anymore. And I told her how much I admire her for doing what she does – which was travelling the world all over, in a little colourful bus, and other means of transport (she’s settled now, in a multicoloured house near Woodstock, NY). And I said how I wish I had the courage to do that. And then I thought, you know what, maybe I will have that courage. What’s to keep me apart from fear? I’m fed up of being governed by fear. And I have proven that I am actually able to find a job still, so I would be able to find one even if I came back after a year of backpacking.

But that’s a few years in the future (I’m thinking two – 35 sounds like a good age), and for now I will concentrate on my new job, and on fixing my head (will need a new time with my counsellor tho, no more 4pm on Wednesday 🙁 ), and more immediately still, on my Sketchbook Project (which is also scary but screw fear). And most immediately of all I will go to bed, and sleep the sleep of the just and the happy, on this my last day before I hand in my notice at a job I hate. 🙂