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Clarissa 29 Brighton UK. Atheist asexual cynic. Loves green. Hates kids.
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No more Fugees!!! (I have a life)
Sun, Dec 18 2005 @ 12:58   //   Category: Life & Me   //   0 comments

Warning: long rambling entry ahead.
Do you think you can handle it?
Awright then...

Been a while eh? Yeah, been kinda busy. Like OMG! This is the first weekend on my own in... 3 weeks. I'm not sure if I like it or not. I have been really looking forward to this cuz I have so much to catch up on, and simply have to have some time to myself again, doing sweet fuck all and living life at my own rhythm (read: veeery slowly), but right now I also find the prospect kinda daunting. A whole 2 days??? With nothing to do, and no one to spend time with? Goodness me. Don't tell me I'm turning into one of those sociable people again! Now wouldn't that be a shock!

But yeah I am looking forward to relaxing, and getting some sleep especially! Not had nearly enough of that lately, what with squiZZ being here, and then all that racing back and forth to London... I did actually go to bed at like 8pm on Monday so had 10hrs sleep then, but ever since then it's been more like 5hrs. I've even been falling asleep at work with my head on my desk, being woken by the next call :)) (which usually comes within the next 5mins, even at the quietest times). So I am in dire need of sleep... and sleep I shall certainly get!

Mhm. Work next (working through all my "topics to cover" here). Just been reminded, it kinda made me laugh. I have started hanging up on calls... a lot (you know, when they come through, as soon as I see them displayed, before even saying hello). I never really used to do it unless it was bound to be a very annoying call, but now I tend to do it much more - if they interrupt me while I'm doing something else (non-work related of course), or if I'm in a bad mood, or if it's something I don't like doing (which is most stuff) and so on. No doubt I do this mainly cuz I know this whole thing will be over soon and don't really care anymore. And also because I hate them all.

Haha, and because of that I managed some insane calls per hour average the other day and got a special mention on our daily stats email (which is not that unbelievable since I am often top call taker anyway, but this was like, way ahead of everyone else and completely unrealistic). But instead of questioning these results, they congratulate me. =)) However I don't feel one bit guilty about this because other people do stuff like this too, and I actually do have good results without cheating too - even if I don't want to! I have been trying to slow down but it don't work. I am just too impatient, and maybe just too focused on positive feedback? Whatever it is, I find it impossible to take less calls, even if I really try. It just happens.

Anyway. :)) Not much more to say about work, except I absolutely hate it at the moment and am counting down the days. No, the hours, more like. I have been meaning to call in sick for weeks now, with various excuses, just because every day of going in seems like such a nightmare. But so far I haven't done, because I am a coward or whatever. Next week I will! because I hate them all!

Although of course once I leave I will be whingeing loads about how much I miss Ann-Louise (mhm actually she may be the solution to my "where to find people this weekend" predicament). Yeah her and Ingmar. He's fun. But he's not the kind of person I can see myself spending any of my actual free time with. But maybe I've just not given him the chance to get past the "just about entertaining enough to humour me while I have no choice" stage.

I am incredibly judgmental. And demanding. And never happy (glass half empty). And... stuff. And this started hours ago and it all crashed since then. :|

[...]

Hello it's Sunday now. This was started Friday night and then things kinda escalated and I did lots of stupid things that I'd rather not talk about, and the end result was that entry... thanks to Charlie btw for listening to my whingeing! :x I'm a bit better now but I'm still so disappointed with myself for being so goddamn stupid and thinking I had made any sort of progress in the past 3 weeks or whatever. Oh well. Will have to work hard on getting back on track. My mum hates me too now, I don't blame her. :)) Anyway, on with the entry about my life...

Yeah I've applied for two volunteer positions. They're in the marketing/PR sector, thought it would be a good way of getting some experience without, you know, having an actual job. I will have to see if I can manage on top of the course obviously. I intend to get good grades on that course, not just a pass, cuz I want to get a good job. I think. All these resolutions... anyway, in case you're interested, the positions are this one and this one. Obviously no idea if I will get them anyway. I might apply for unrelated stuff too. You know, get some real life stuff to fill my life with.

That's the future. There is also more about the past. The Fugees of course... yeah they were amazing both nights in London... I think I liked the 1st of the two nights best. I got to touch Pras both nights cuz he did some crowdsurfing... and um yeah, don't really know what else to add now... Lauryn is incredibly beautiful. Jaja. I will miss not having any more Fugees concerts to go to. If you wanna see some good pics, check the ones Ellie made. Oh, and I broke my cam on the 1st of the two nights. The zoomy thing is stuck now. So I need to find somewhere to fix it. I have no idea who would do such a thing (I bought it on eBay, from some guy in Hong Kong).

Yeah that brings me to my next topic, all my gadgets... so Charlie's broken, thankfully I still have Chloe (the old cam). Vincent the iPod... well his battery life really kinda sucks so I think I will return him. I should actually go into town today to cancel that warranty thing, as I only have until early January and I won't have any other weekends.... but I might just go on my lunch break one day, or on a late night Thursday. So yeah. Instead I might buy a PSP, but I haven't decided for sure yet. Basically now that I will be starting my course I won't really need a portable video player since I won't be travelling... so maybe I'll wait til May and see what I can get then. I'll have to get Ben the Zen fixed of course otherwise I won't even have an mp3 player. And because I'm a stupid bint I left it too late to print my order off Amazon (they're only available for 6 months) so now I don't have proof of purchase so can't have it done under warranty either. So maybe I'll do what Alex suggested and just try to FIX it myself. :-s :))

What else... London, yes, Weds afternoon, I did some shopping, found some Xmas presents for some more people. They were all posted yesterday morning. Only 6 people are getting Xmas presents from me this year. And they're all MJ fans. :)) Not that that has anything to do with it, it's a pure coincidence. I hope I won't get anything from people I didn't buy anything for tho. That would make me feel bad. *lol* I doubt it anyway tho.

Right well that's it. End of entry. I will do some meme entries now, mainly stolen from squiZZ (who is back online, w00t!). Have a good one everyone.


 
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