Duplicifissity
Category: Life & Me | 13 Comments | Posted 1:17Thoughts after (almost) a week at work
Um obviously there is far more to say than I could fit in a single entry, so you'll get the short version. Actually I won't bore you will the whole "how you liking the job, you think you will manage?" bit - yeah I think I will manage tho there is much to learn, and yeah I even think I may like it, at least for a while.
The people are cute. This being a multilingual helpdesk, the majority of people are international, which makes for an interesting mix. The first questions you ask anyone are "where you from" and "so why Brighton?" (well in many cases you can tell where they're from by their name and the languages they speak). I have to say I find that quite attractive, which perhaps means I am not quite as British as I thought.
But there's a very cute Scottish guy too (tho very faint accent unfortunately) and Steve team leader is rather cute (reminds me of Chris the bastard, but in a good way only) and Alex other team leader is Australian and cute too (and only 22, and female btw) .
And so today was our Xmas do... I was lucky in that I started just before it and it was the perfect way of getting to know people in a different setting. So I spent pretty much the whole day and half the night with them people, and tho of course I only went cuz I sorta had to, and I only wanna get to know them cuz I will have to work with them, I'd be lying if I said I hated it. I had a good time. And I think I made a fairly good impression. Conclusion: I've not totally lost my social skills.
Then when we left (we weren't the first and we weren't the last - very acceptable) I felt kinda liberated to be back to my old weird self, but I also realised it doesn't require that much effort from me to, well, fit in and be "normal". I will always be a bit freaky and perhaps too non-chalant (this may have made interviews difficult for me at times)... but well yeah I can do the whole "normal life" thing still, incl. getting to know people, asking the usual questions, where you from, where you live etc, and I actually do care, and I do wanna build a relationship with these people.
The real me will always be the one who walks along the seashore in the dark, or the one who sits on gravestones, and most of all the one who lives most of her life by means of the Internet; but this other life, tho not my first choice, doesn't actually require an insurmountable effort from me. I wouldn't actively seek it out, but if I am faced with it I can deal with it and fit in (I don't even have to pretend - when I am there I do fit in).
So I think that's good. Yes, definitely good. There is hope! 
in the early hours of the day, Im sitting with my coffee and sigarettes, scrolling down to read about your week.
Bumping into your blog has lately been my "check list" every time I log on,lol.
I thought about that we all have certian roles in life. When you're at work or school you see how easy it is to be another person. The real you only a few people knows. Or maybe it is just you who knows who you really are. In my circle of friends each and everyone has their own opinion about me, I guess.
The most satisfying thing is to know who you are and allow yourself to be who you are.
words of wisdom? Anyways, have a lovely weekend =)
Posted by: tris at Sat December 11, 2004 4:40Hi wam wam!
Very interesting entry!
I feel the same way you do. It does not take me that much effort to fit in and be reasonably charming and stuff. And that is a part of who you are too.
You like to walk along the seashore in the dark. That sounds wonderful actually! and you like to sit on gravestones. That also sounds wonderful. I have similar things I like to do too. I enjoy going to an empty park with no one around and sitting under MY tree and thinking happy thoughts. I enjoy driving around and being in my own personal la la land!
You have to be able to deal with people and it can be very nice actually. But you can keep your own identity and be the REAL you too.
Thanks for writing. That was fun to read! 
And I'm glad you're doing well.
Posted by: jimmy at Sat December 11, 2004 5:15>>I've not totally lost my social skills.
What made you think you could have lost them anyway? 
You seem to be fairly normal (when you're not freaky 
) and sociable when you need it (all the online people and nice guys helping with the car and the pharmacist and prolly smb. else).
> Or maybe it is just you who knows
> who you really are. In my circle of
> friends each and everyone has their
> own opinion about me, I guess.
Ja that's very true, I think you always change according to who you are with. But there are some people with whom you can be more true to yourself and not hide the weirder sides of yourself.
> being in my own personal la la land!
@ Lo - I think there's a difference between chatting to someone in a shop for 1 minute and building up long term working relationships with a bunch of people.
But what I mainly meant was.. yeah I knew I could do it all along, but the fact that I can actually still like it is what I've just discovered. *hehe* (tho that doesn't mean I'll be going out all the time now lol).
She already is, that's why I have to share her with all you people!!!! @ Mark
Posted by: JarJar at Sat December 11, 2004 22:50fuck off trisssssss, mark, monica etc. she's MINE.
Clarissa belongs firstly to Miss L.J. and then to me. the rest of you will have to wait your turn in line (and a very long line it is) to claim her as your own. Go find your own peoples and leave us be! 
squiZZ, oj! I accept that she's yours too so you should accept that she's mine too. 
Don't like sharing her with all these people I don't know and like though.
Posted by: JarJar at Sun December 12, 2004 0:08well no one is ready to leave their dogs/jobs/kitchens/whatever for me...
... except BML Me actually...
... so maybe I am exclusively hers.
Ja well never mind then.
