That's the whole, that's the part of it

Category: Life & Me | 7 Comments | Posted 1:10

I have been asked to update. I said I didn't really have much to say, but I would try. So here I am.

I've also finally made a new layout. Slight Placebo mania here. I got the enhanced single for Twenty Years today, which has the video as Quicktime, which allows you to take screenshots, so there you go. I almost like the haircut even. And did I mention I will see him in 10 days? To some of you I did, but to the rest of you: Placebo live in 10 days! That's frighteningly soon. Even sooner than that I will have a Lo!

So news... not much really. I mean I could tell you all about the time I spend offline, what I do, what I think about, what I have seen and experienced, but that would take ages, and if I try to summarize it it all ends up as "well not much really". I emailed a few people last night who hadn't heard from me in many months and despite all the adventures and the drama and the ups and downs I constantly seem to be going through, I managed to more or less sum it all up in 2 sentences: "I finished my MA so now I'm looking for jobs, and I've been travelling quite a bit". That's all really. *lol*

Anyway. Let me try to expand. So I had an interview last Thursday. For multilingual IT helpdesk analyst for AmEx. It went ok. I have language assessment tests yet to come. She convinced me to try the Italian one too, which is completely ridiculous as my Italian is appalling. Have been watching Italian DVDs (Silence of the Lambs ) and reading Italian books and cringeing at my lack of knowledge. Oh but on a whim I finally bought Caro Diario by Nanni Moretti. Amazing film that I haven't seen in 10yrs. Can't wait to finally watch it again. (and hey - I ordered it on an Italian site and I managed! lol)
Have also applied for many other jobs. As usual. We shall see...

Had some fun at Asda... for one, because they're all gossipy cunts quite a few people know that I am looking for jobs now so the longer it takes, the more I will look like a loser. Also when Bet found out I'd finished my MA and all she went "so what are you still doing here?" and I was like "well um... I've been trying you know, but looks like no one wants me".
Oh and last week they set me up, well they had fake shoplifters going through the tills and I let her through with £950 worth of goods (mobiles and alcohol and other small expensive stuff hidden in one big vacuum cleaner box). There were a few of us and we were reminded that we should treat all customers like potential shoplifters and whatnot (they love that. customers I mean), but they were all very cute about it and everyone asked me if I was ok and I just thought "oh God I couldn't care less". A few years ago this would've freaked me out no end. *lol*

I've sold a few books on Amazon Marketplace again. I like doing that. There's minimal gain, but it's fun and makes me feel like all the books I read are less of a waste. For I read lots of books. Reading books is great. Learning languages too. Oh yeah did I mention I had my first Arabic class last week? It's oh so basic. This will be the first language I don't learn in our usual school style, i.e. grammar, vocabulary and so on. It kinda frustrates me. I wanna understand what I'm learning, not just have a phrase tossed at me that kinda means "I'm fine".

But maybe I'll do the rest myself. The understanding, the grammar, the pages of vocabulary. Since I have nothing else to do. It's so strange. I have nothing to do. Well, once a week when the paper comes out with the weekly ads I have a few jobs to apply for, but the rest of the time I am free as a bird. It feels weird and unfamiliar. (yes I know I could pursuit this jobhunting a lot more actively, contacting everyone I can think of, following up every rejection... but these are things I can but don't need  (and don't want) to do.)

So that's that. I almost considered starting another degree but... *shudder* It was very strange tho, being back at uni (for the Arabic course). It's in Arts A where many of my classes were. It still smells the same, three years on. I wish I could be back there. It was so much fun.
Oh and men reek. I mean yes I know a lot of them smell, but it seems that I'm coming across all the particularly disgusting ones these days... and it's that particular "unwashed man" smell... seriously, it's the same for all of them. Unwashed men all smell the same!!!!!!!!!! God I hate it.

Um anyway. It's been rather stormy here lately. Esp. where we live, right next to the beach (muahahaha jealous yet?), anyway I am finding it rather enjoyable. Went for a long walk along the beach the other night, in the dark, all on my own, with big waves and strong wind... it was great. And it made me feel good. At peace and free and very much caught up in the moment, with no worries, no past to be ashamed of and no future to be afraid of...
And it made me think "God I need the sea so fucking much, don't ever take it away from me again", but then I realized I'd lived without it for decades and I'd never relied on it to calm me down or to put things in perspective... and I'd also lived with the sea before and never really had any strong need for it. (this could be another whole entry... if I wanted. but I don't)

Anyway. I think that's pretty much all my news for now. It should entertain the Los and the Mels of this world for 10mins.

PS I am dependent on daniel and rely on him far too much.