Such an exciting life

Category: Life & Me | 2 Comments | Posted 18:44

Checkout operator is a very boring job.

Thank God that's not what I do.

I'm a secret agent observing the common British public so we can infiltrate the nation and invade them from within.

I'm an anthropologist studying the shopping habits of average Europeans. I'm studying and taking notes and I'm writing a very clever book.

I'm an alien and this is all very new to me and I'm puzzled by these strange beings buying stuff by the truckload and saying the same things, the same words over and over that have no meaning, hello how are you thank you thanks a lot cheers bye.

I'm an android, I am specialised in customer service jobs. I'm a prototype, there's only one of me, I'm perfect at what I do. I have no emotions no feelings, all I do is scan items weigh items interact with customers, hello thank you that's £23.72 would you like any cashback there you go thanks a lot good bye. It's all I have been programmed to do and I am perfect at it and I have no feelings no emotions.

Thank God I'm not a boring checkout operator.

(my apologies to James Frey)