Suicide

How funny. I'd been meaning to do an entry about suicide for a while... I worked sth up in my mind on the drive back from Charleroi, but then the spelling thing took over... and then Lo sent me this link which is strangely related to my thoughts.

I'm quite torn about the issue. I used to believe you can do with your life whatever you want - it's yours after all, it's the only thing you really own & that no one can take from you. And if you think that this life just ain't worth living, then you're free to end it.

I still believe that. Well we're not talking in terms of sin here are we - there is no such thing. Everyone can do with their life what they wanna, right? Cuz it's theirs right? Well that's where I've kinda changed my mind... your life doesn't belong only to you. You have obligations towards people, people who need you, who rely on you, people who will miss you when you're gone.

I mean my dad tried to commit suicide in '96, and his death in 2002 was basically a very slow form of suicide... and I felt abandoned. He chose death (he'd mentioned it often enough), this was a very conscious choice for him, and he'd obviously not had enough reason to stay alive. He left us behind and I felt betrayed. I still resent him for it at times.

I don't know if I'm being fair for it... I mean what if someone really hates their life, they should be allowed to end it right? Maybe it's us being selfish - the ones left behind. We should get over it and let them go. But anyone committing suicide is basically telling his people "you weren't worth it" and that's always hurtful.

You're left with loss, guilt, unanswered questions... suicide sucks. That said, I still support the idea that anyone's free to do with their life whatever they want. In theory. I'd support them too, I mean I wouldn't start the whole guilt thing on anyone (and I never did on my dad when he talked about it). BUT if I found one of my friends trying to commit suicide I'd still call for help (as we did with my dad) - ultimately disrespecting their wish to die. But I guess that would be more of a panic reaction... apart from that, not helping is a crime.