How mad is the average person?
Category: Opinionated | 11 Comments | Posted 19:50Yes so I was reading an article about the mental balance of German students (German speakers, it's here), and this survey has apparenly found out that more than 20% of German students suffer from depressions, eating disorders or addictions (generally dope or alcohol). The article is suggesting that studying puts you at risk etc yada yada.
And then it says this: those 20% state that "mentally they feel average at best" and 2% say they feel "bad." Now that takes me back to a discussion I had with a friend the other day... about online people, who seem to be generally "fucked up" (well more than average), vs. "the rest of 'em".
Now we argued that the average offline person may well be just as bad, but just won't talk about it so much cuz
1. you don't really get the chance (or the time)
2. it's not considered acceptable (i.e. you're meant to put up an act)
See the idea came up when we discussed people's perception of themselves in general... from a very personal point of view, each and everyone of my friends and family (those I know well enough) have some issue or mental instability, either with themselves, or about the way the world perceives them, or about how they perceive the world.
They just don't talk about it so much. They do sometimes with close friends, or hint at it, or it's so obvious you can just see it, but in general people feel that they should not annoy their friends or family with their innermost problems, or they're scared, or embarrassed, or self-conscious.
Now online this inhibition tends to disappear, partly because of the anonymity, partly because you don't have to look people in the eyes, partly because everyone seems to do it and there aren't those old prejudices. SO one gets the impression that people online are more messed up than average. Which, I think, is quite simply a misconception.
It's kinda the same with artists... they are of course "supposed" to be fucked up, and expressing their fuckedupness in their songs, paintings, poems, whatever. So the idea is: artists are more fucked than average, therefore they need to have art as an outlet for their feelings. But how about: artists are just as fucked up as the rest of us, but they have actually found an outlet?! The rest of us ("them" if you count me to the exhibtionist online diarists) just bottle it up. Which doesn't mean the problems are gone.
So I'd venture to say: the average person out there is unsatisfied (we're talking about the fed, clad, housed 1st world person here - the one that should have no reason to complain). NOT as happy with their lives or themselves as one might hope or expect. So we're not talking about 20% or whatever, but about the human condition. Inner balance, self-acceptance, a feeling of belonging... it's just not meant to be for m ost of us. It's an exception rather than the rule. Or am I being too negative after all?
"It's kinda the same with artists... they are of course "supposed" to be fucked up"
WOO HOO!! 
I don't agree on that one: "there aren't those old prejudices". I think the prejudices are still there. There've been people that tried to make me feel bad about my condition already, while it was obvious they were not doing much better themselves. Hypocritical, but just led by prejudices of our societies, IMO.
In general I believe that everyone carries some shit on their shoulders. I've never found anybody that does not have an issue in a way, and when I call someone sane then it means more like "as sane as it can get". I think there's that bit of sadness in everyone. And those that have a hard time just admitting it to themselves are probably more fucked up than those that talk it over all day long.
Though I wonder what's your point about trying to argue on the theory that more than just 20% of people are fucked up. Is it just because you find it interesting - as in a scientific way? Or is it that it makes you feel better about yourself thinking that about everyone is fucked up? No offense, that was just one thing that popped up in my head reading this through.
I think there are quite a load of people that are happy to point fingers at people with problems at times, because that's how they can distract themselves from their own issues - that should theoretically be their only business to take care of.
Posted by: Michelle at September 7, 2003 10:59 PMYes I know what you mean. People still judge of course (besides you'll get morons anywhere, no cure against that). It's just that in general, it is more accepted to talk about your worries and self-doubts online than, say, at a dinner party.
>> Though I wonder what's your point <<
My entry was just an observation made after comparing my online and offline friends. I used to get a lot of "yeah you people online are all freaks", then as I talked in more depth with offline friends, I found they generally had similar problems, but rarely discussed or even acknowledged them. It's a taboo, just like sex was 100yrs ago.
I was trying to argue that being perfectly happy is more abnormal than "having issues". Without making any judgment. It doesn't make me feel better about myself. I'm not open about my self-doubts offline either - only to very very close friends. I think there's a certain constraint out there to be fairly balanced - so everyone is putting up an act in order to comply to that.
"The norm" is only defined in relation to the majority. If it was acknowledged that nearly everyone is struggling against themselves or the world, maybe it would become more common to admit to it, talk about it, and learn from it.
I have people who told me "I'm so weird I can't tell anybody, not even a shrink, they would be too shocked" and it's like "oh please, you're not unique in this!" But people often react like that. They bottle it up, it tears them up from the inside, they end up getting ulcers from it, when just talking about it would help them.
>> that's how they can distract
themselves from their own issues <<
Yes that's exactly my point! There's a lot of hypocrisy in that respect - those who are open about their problems are singled out, when most people refuse to acknowledge their own issues. Not necessarily maliciously, but people are taught not to make a big deal out of their own problems. So instead they jump on other people's.
Posted by: Clarissa at September 8, 2003 01:28 AM>> I have people who told me "I'm so weird I can't tell anybody, not even a shrink, they would be too shocked" and it's like "oh please, you're not unique in this!" But people often react like that. They bottle it up, it tears them up from the inside, they end up getting ulcers from it, when just talking about it would help them.
Posted by: Michelle at September 8, 2003 10:40 AMYes, I definitely agree with the expressing oneself thing. Weird about jealousy tho... maybe it's also because it makes you more 'interesting' because it is out of the ordinary.
Posted by: Clarissa at September 8, 2003 12:26 PMyes, i think it's the "interesting"-thing. maybe it scratches some people's self-confidence having nothing to really tell. 
I could push them down a skyscraper, then they also got something to tell. ...or not.
yeah I don't think they'd be saying much after that!
WOW!
Posted by: Solrack at September 15, 2003 05:47 AM
I'm misunderstood. Even the plants don't truly get the essence that is me.
Posted by: The BML at September 7, 2003 08:50 PM