Interviewed by Michelle

OK, this is a cool Chain Meme that's been going around: someone writes 5 questions for you, you answer them, then other people can request questions from you. Makes it all a lot more personal than the usual "Friday Five" etc Here are the rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
So my questions are by Michelle. They're cool! Anyone who wants to be interviewed by me, drop me a comment.

1. What will you do on Michael Jackson's birthday on August 29th this year? Any plans to party, celebrate?
Er... haven't actually thought about that yet. I don't think I'll be doing anything in particular. As I don't have any other MJ fans around here, I can't really celebrate. I'll probably just be at home feeling sorry for myself cuz I can't be in LA.

2. If you could tell your biological father what you've never told him right into his face and probably never had the guts or will to tell him (maybe cuz it's a waste of time and energy), what would it be?
Interesting question cuz I've just been giving this some thought again these past few weeks. I've considered seeking him out and confronting him, but kinda decided against it cuz it would indeed be a waste of time.
In fact there isn't much I haven't told him, I had a phase where I threw everything in his face a few years back. I thought it would make me feel better, but because he was so unresponsive, it was a rather frustrating experience.
The things I accuse him of are, um, that he's a selfish bastard & unable of self-criticism, that he's created nothing but pain for those around him and that he's achieved absolutely nothing in life, despite his outstanding opinion of himself. I think if I saw him again these days I'd ask him if he realises how far gone he is, and that most people think he should be locked up. But with his psychopathic personality he would (and does) believe that everyone else is wrong and he's the only sane one.
All those years ago I told him during an argument "if I was like you I'd tell you I want you dead, but luckily I'm not". I think today I'd tell him that I do wish him dead, that it would be best for everyone, even himself.

3. If you could make a change about three human characteristics that about every human being shares with everyone and that define the human race, which three would it be to make the world a better place for everyone?
Wow, tough one. What with me being convinced of the universality of human nature and all, I should be able to find 3 right away. OK I'd definitely say greed. That should get rid of most organised crime and all.
Now we'd need one characteristic that makes people knock each other's heads in... but because it's such a complex thing, it's quite hard. Based on my theories about instinct I'd have to say the need to dominate... hunger for power. We must get rid of that.
And I'd teach everyone forgiveness. Rather than dwelling on conflicts that started centuries ago, people should be able to look into each other's eyes and just see another human being, someone like them. Not an enemy they feel like strangling.
Can I add a fourth one? Humility it would be. No one should consider themselves superior to anyone else. No hate, no discrimination, no domination. OK, that should actually get rid of the powertrips too, so we can drop that. So we'd have: forgiveness, humility, and no more greed. Aah, spoken like a true Christian.

4. What do you think are the main reasons why you've never really had a relationship to a man?
I think I just don't see the point. I don't need any of what relationship gives you, in fact I don't even want it. And I don't fancy all the baggage that comes with it. I don't want to be half of some entity, where I only get to make half of the decisions, where I have to always remember what my other half may be thinking. I don't want all these complex emotions, like being hurt, then not talking about it, secretly hoping your other half will notice, then being upset because he doesn't. Or because he does notice, but doesn't wanna talk about it.
Relationships (even friendships) become so complicated when a lot of emotion is involved. Whenever there is a problem, it becomes a big deal because people seem so unwilling to just sit down and talk it through. And when you're in a relationship, it becomes so much worse because you're always out to impress each other, there is so much avoidance and euphemising, not talking about something that bugs you because you're afraid of losing them. And it takes many years to get to a level of openness and intimacy that I'd find acceptable.
And keeping a relationship going is hard work, even if you do manage to talk about things. I don't think I could have such an intense, such an inter-dependent tie with someone. No relationship is perfect, there are always misunderstandings and different opinions, and going through that on a day to day basis is just something I can't imagine doing.
And thing is, I don't miss or need anything a relationship could give me. I don't need the sex (and if I did, I could get it elsewhere), I don't need someone 'being there to cuddle me' when I get home after a bad day or whatever, and I don't really need someone to share my life with me. At the end of the day I'm a rather solitary person I think. Imagining people who have never spent more than a week-end apart from each other gives me the creeps. I think I'd start to hate anyone if I saw so much of them.

5. What do you think will you and your position be like in your life when you're maybe 65 years old? Marital status, job, properties, happiness, satisfaction, state of mind, health etc.
LOL well to be quite honest I don't have the slightest idea. Especially now where I've pretty much thrown everything overboard and am going into the big scary world with absolutely no plan... I don't even know if I'll get to be 65, but then anyone our age probably says that.
I don't think I'll be married obviously (hehe), and I have no idea as to my happiness or health. I guess I will have inherited by then, so I should own a bit of real estate, or whatever else I have chosen to invest it in, or maybe I won't cuz I'll have spent it all!? Job-wise... no clue, seriously. I don't know what's going to happen in London, I don't know how long it will keep happening and what will happen afterwards, it really all depends on what I want, and what I can find, and what I can keep.
I don't even know where I'll be... here or in the UK. It's not impossible that I'll move back here at some point. Or move somewhere else entirely? Haha, maybe I'll live on the moon by then! Provided they have broadband internet connection...