Only for 2 days tho. I am going to see Placebo. In Colmar, Alsace (France). Tomorrow night. I think it has not quite registered yet. I am seeing Brian Molko in about 20hrs. Nevermind scary shaved head. OMG BRIAN! 
So yeah. Upon my return I intend to get my life together. (haha) I don't really have a choice because I checked my bank account this morning and found out that once my credit card payment and my rent have gone out I will have exactly nothing, or even less than nothing. I guess that's what I need to get me going eh. (I do of course still have money but it's in Lux and my mum's hawkeye monitors my Lux accounts)
My mum... *sigh* she left me a message the day I left (Monday) all shy and coy about whether Paris (2-5 Sept) was still happening. Heh. She's in Munich now so I will have to call her when I get back from France. (lmao @ all the travelling. it's less glam than it sounds)
So. Seriousness issues. This morning I went to see my GP (well, one of my many GPs. the practice has 5 and so far I've seen 2, but not the one I am registered with). I went there with a general intent of going "heeelp" *Mel lost in the City impression* and expected a long process of "well we'll have to see" and "hm a shrink yes? well the NHS waiting list is 6 months" and "let's do some tests/let's get you on the waiting list for rehab" and whatnot.
Instead I went through some depression-symptom-questions and walked out with a prescription for antidepressants and a half-hearted recommendation not to drink while taking them, to come back in 3 weeks, and to get in touch with my old counselling people. *lol* If I'd known it was that easy I would've asked for sleeping pills too cuz I'm running out. 
*ahem, back to seriousness* So I decided to be a good girl and try to find a counsellor again and Mon egged me on and I actually ended up calling one and she - OMG - answered the phone and I have an appointment on Monday morning. I spoke to her for 7 minutes (!) and she sounds cute.
So that's my mental health taken care of. (sorry, I really do seem unable to talk about this in a serious manner at the moment) I decided not to start taking scary happy pills until after France cuz I don't want scary side effects while drooling over Brian (and I also sorta have to decide if I really wanna do this. it's kinda scary), and so I figured I could get insanely drunk one last time, and I succeeded quite marvellously. *lmao* I'm sure I'll curse myself tomorrow when I have to hungoverly ride buses and planes etc.
I haven't even decided whether to get a bus or train yet (train is quicker but further to walk. bus is cheaper. hm. i am broke. bus then eh). I have checked in and packed tho. My bag is so scarily light. Originally I was gonna go for longer (like leave early) but then I went to Norway instead. I could've returned later but I have to pay my rent on Friday and I didn't take it out today cuz I decided to take out most of it on my Lux credit card... but first I need to spend France money on that etc. Besides running away forever is pointless. Oh yeah and... I am broke! 
Yeah the end. Will book transport to Gatwick now. Jimmy should be home now damnit. Where is he.