I'm still running!!!! 
I'm also still awake. Which is very wrong considering I have a bus to catch in... 5hrs. (yawn. sigh. lol.) But I am oh so excited!!!!! Not because I am still running... that's sorta scary. Not least because I have no idea what to do with the eggs and the yoghurts that go off in 3 days. (kidding)
This time I am running to Norway (cf previous entry) to see my Mon Angel Person. As recently as 3 days ago I was absolutely convinced I would never see my Angel Person (or Norway) again... how quickly (yet predictably?) things can change. I have not seen Mon since Sept last year. That's a long time. Her hair has grown a lot since, and other things have happened too. Repeatedly. But yet again we have found our way back together, against all odds. 
And I am very very happy.
Also I am seeing Jimmy again. I have not seen Jimmy since July 24th. 
S'about time again!!!! 
Seriously tho, I am so excited about seeing him again - just spent 105mins on the phone to him too (shut it) and he's very wonderful & has been so fucking cute ... and also I am amazed/incredulous (and I'm not the only one) that he got the time off work, and that he went through with this, and that he's coming to Europe, and yeah. 
I don't really want to spend any time on negative thoughts right now but I'll just try to summarize them in a very... factual way. *lol*
1. I am running away again... ok this is obvious to anyone reading this lol. But I am leaving stuff behind again (and I don't just mean eggs). My mum doesn't know about this and must never know but I have not yet decided what to tell her. I have obviously not done anything more about jobs.
2. I have learnt something very very very sad today. I hope, so hope it will be fixed, tho I guess it is/was sort of... inevitable, but I still think/hope it can be undone.
3. Charlie - remember him? - has managed to disappoint me yet again. I should not be surprised, or blame anyone but myself for expecting the impossible. Even while I was in the States I saw this coming, exactly this, and told myself I'd do my best to deal with it.
But I didn't know if I could. And I told him about my fears one night, and he assured me it would be fine and he wouldn't do this, and I'm not saying I believed him but I tried to, I really wanted to.
But he lied. Again. So if that was a lie then probably everything else was too. Everything I struggled so hard to believe in. And I don't hate him, I'm just very sad. 
Then again maybe he actually has died / had a horrible accident and the one time I'm not worried about him I'm doing him injustice. Heh.
End sad things. I have decided after speaking to Mon and Michelle and L.J. and Jimmy that once I get back from running away (whenever that is) I'm going to look into going on anti-depressants. Yeah maybe it makes you numb and indifferent but I don't give a fuck about the highs anymore, the lows are just too unbearable. And I need to be able to get up in the mornings and face reality.
But first I am running away again.
Angel Person. 
Jimmy.
4hrs til bus! Too long if you ask me. (and OMG I still can't believe Jimmy is actually coming!!!! It's so fucking exciting and weird and strange and exciting!!!)
I should check my luggage again... and stuff.
I'll leave comments open on this since I will be gone for a while etc. Be nice tho and no homicidal thoughts please.
PS my packing is becoming like "if I don't see it lying around I won't need it on my trip." Also ugh I can't believe it's light out again and I haven't slept.
PPS 8.40am Aaaargh I am so tired!!!!! 2hrs sleep = not enough. BUT GONE SOON!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
No comments at all!?
Pffft 
I am disappointed.
You all hate me 
Pfff, I thought I'd rather not comment, because you closed your last entry's comments again, and last time people commented you closed all comments in every entry.
But I think the anti-depressants thing is pretty good. Just remember you won't lose anything. If you hate it you can always go back to whinging.
Posted by: stagiaire on Fri August 11, 2006 at 15:01LOL yes but I wasn't around to close comments this time... well not often anyway.
@ going back to whingeing, yeah that IS what I do best after all!
You must understand, my friend, that life is very very unpredictable.
How many times were you asked to stay away from the windows at an airport – in the Midwest, Minneapolis to be exact.?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rlRWtWFtaCg
Hey, just checking... couldn't remember when you wll be back. Let me know...
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Posted by: Hugo Denis on Sun August 13, 2006 at 15:05When you're back home, please update. I want to know about the hassle you went through to get back to Brighton. 
Have emailed you about the hassle 