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Clarissa 29 Brighton UK. Atheist asexual cynic. Loves green. Hates kids.
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Hello my name is William
Fri, Dec 23 2005 @ 16:32   //   Category: Randomness   //   6 comments

I am Clarissa's new mobile and I thought I'd introduce myself, as I intend to play a major part in her life from this moment onwards.

Do read on.

Just to set the context... I'm a SonyEricsson k750i. The next model along from Samuel. Her "old" mobile. (haha, you're the old one now Sam! get over it!!! :evil)

So... Clarissa is insanely in love with me. I will tell you why. :D (I bet you can't wait to find out =)))

First off she loves me because I was delivered to her incredibly fast. Because my previous owner is a good guy so he posted me as soon as she won the auction (she bought me on eBay you see). This made her very happy.

She also loves the fact that I feel so familiar to her because I'm very much like Samuel. Everything on me is in the right place. I feel very intuitive to her. No guessing. No reading any manuals (not that she ever does read manuals, silly bint that she is, but usually that means a few days of guessing *lol*). And OMG she was so thrilled that she could just transfer her phonebook from Samuel to me via bluetooth in one go!!!! (we're great aren't we?)

Oh and of course she loves the fact that I work, and that I do the things her Samuel (stupid imposter!) doesn't anymore. Like, my joystick thingy is perfectly responsive! And my battery lasts forever! She's been doing all SORTS of stuff with me and I am still on 100%!! I'm so fucking amazing that way! :D

She's a bit annoyed that she has to teach me all her weird ways again.... like adding rude words to my dictionary (cunt, slut, fuck, bitch... never heard of them before, me!! :wh), and transferring audio and picture files and stuff. But she's also excited about having a completely new phone that she can totally fill with rubbish again. It's like a new Windows install - like raping a virgin! :evil =))

Yeah, so much about me. As for her *glances around, spots Clarissa at PC*, apparently she called in sick today - FINALLY is what I would say if I'd known her for any longer than, um, 5 hours, which I don't so I won't. :wh

So she went to Dixons to return Vincent the iPod (who does he think he is??) and was told she had to bring back the fucking skin as well as apparently it was a "package". No doubt when she does take it back they'll say she would need the packaging too and so on. *yawn* But I have a feeling she will kick a big fuss if they do that. And because she happens to be at Heathrow again on the 31st she can just go into where she bought it and shout at the little fucker who sold it to her. 8-}

Yeah. I would love to update you about what she did last night (cuz it appears that's of quite some importance) but she only collected me this morning so I don't really know. She spent ages on the phone (landline!! outrage!! what about me????) to some guy in the States this morning tho and from what I could gather he has something to do with it all. She's mentioned him in a text she sent through me (to someone in Latvia called "Lo") and it appears his name is Charlie. :-/

She wrote a text to him too but she saved it in draft... dunno what the deal is about that. She stopped after "Haha you" (helpful uh?). She was talking to someone online at the time, but since bluetooth was switched off on the PC I could not do any spying. Sorry. :|

There was some more texting done through me (oooh I feel so important!!! 8-}) but that's not really relevant enough to risk her annoyance. Cuz you know, she could just chuck me out the window. :)) That would suck. It's cold outside. :|

She loves the Fugees 8-| (just in case you didn't know - yawn!). Oh yeah and Work Alison called her about her calling in sick - apparently she hadn't received her voicemail!? Was kinda embarrassing cuz she was on the phone to USguy being normally-non-ill then I rang & it was Alison so she had to switch to "suffering voice" :))

Gotta go. Bye!


 
People say...

Posted by: d on Fri December 23, 2005 at 19:33

Nice to meet you William

Posted by: Val on Fri December 23, 2005 at 21:08

Hilarious!! Wanna know more about Charlie.

Posted by: Anne on Tue December 27, 2005 at 15:34

Who's Charlie?

Posted by: Clarissa on Tue December 27, 2005 at 18:38

Posted by: JJB on Tue December 27, 2005 at 18:40

Posted by: Clarissa on Tue December 27, 2005 at 22:46