.. here's another random nonsense update. My weekend so far and various other thoughts, stream-of-consciousness style - or something of that sort.
I am listening to Aaliyah. I should be listening to Moby cuz I'm going to see him in less than three weeks and have only listened to his new album once, but I selected the wrong CD on my hifi and now Aaliyah's playing - that's cool too, I like her. I'll listen to Moby later. I've just found out that contrary to my earlier belief, Moby will not be in NYC when we're there (THREE fucking weeks!!!! 
). He had no tour dates booked when I last checked, but he does now. So he will be in Europe while I am in New York. Ah well. Good thing is he will be in Europe while I am in Europe too, and I will see him on the 19th. I'm glad I bought that ticket now, I would have been doubly frustrated otherwise. I'm also glad I waited for it to be delivered, rather than thinking "sod it", which I was very tempted to do when they still hadn't arrived at noon and I knew I was gonna miss the opening hours for the post office. I'm not gonna be able to collect my new passport until Tuesday now. I guess it doesn't matter that much as long as I know it's there waiting for me. I rang the embassy on Thursday you see, asking them if they'd had any news, and they said "yeah actually we emailed you ten days ago" - oops! Guess I should check that account more often. 
So anyway they mailed it. And I have to mail them my old one back.
See that was one very long string of consecutive thoughts there. They were all more or less linked. Now the time has come for a new train of thought, which is why I have started a new paragraph. This keyboard is disgustingly sticky. Do I clean it or buy a new one? Cleaning it properly would mean removing all the keys. I guess it would give me sth to do, but then again I can think of more exciting things to do. Not that I actually do those, but then I won't do this either will I. So what else have I achieved today? Ah yes, the ticket people finally arrived at 3.15 so I could go into town, which I did, looking for a specific L'Oréal Shampoo. I couldn't find it, and there were too many people in town for my liking (bank holiday weekend! sunny! horror!), so I left it behind me, caught the little choo-choo train to Asda and went food-shopping. Returned with 8 litres of liquid and many other heavy items, all of which I had to carry up countless stairs from the beach and then up to the flat. My arms were pure jelly afterwards, so I collapsed on the bed. Where I've been until recently - right now I'm actually sitting at the big monitor. I might do some printing in a minute, to expand my gallery of pretty people at work. Just to get people asking more fun questions such as "so is that your boyfriend?" and "is that a husky?" Must also email some people. I have 47 emails in my inbox. *gulp* Not all of those require replies tho thank God.
Oh yeah (new thought!) I ordered an iPod mini this morning! A greeeeen one of course! It will be needed for the trip to NYC. That's not the only reason why I needed one of course. I smashed my previous mp3 player against a wall after it kept doing that same annoying shit the first one did - randomly restarting with no apparent reason whatsoever. After the smashing it was in many pieces and unusable, but that was ok cuz it wasn't much use before either. Never buying cheap crap from Hong Kong again. So instead I've now bought outrageously overpriced crap! 
And it's greeeen! Yeah and in a minute I'mma order some stuff on German Amazon as well, but that's of little interest to most of you (Robert Gernhardt, Victor Klemperer and Wir Sind Helden for those who do care) - spending money makes me cheerful.
Speaking of cheerfulness - or lack of - the weekend blues has already struck twice so far. It never seems to forget me unfortunately. I do wonder why I so look forward to the weekends. 
Aaanyway I shall not dwell on depressing thoughts, but continue this entry with some more cheerful chatter (check the funky alliteration!). I have today for the first time in a long long while sort of 'talked' to a person from the past - tho it was but in comments, it has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 
I far prefer getting along with people than... not.
What an odd thing human emotions are. Tho this morning when I was feeling sad and dejected again I thought it would quite possibly be better to stay away from people altogether to avoid disappointment. I wonder how/when I let people get so close to me and whether it was a mistake or not. I remain undecided. This morning of course I was convinced it was a mistake, and perhaps it was, but it doesn't look like I could have avoided it, cuz if I could've, I would've. Or did I just let it happen and not pay enough attention? It's like you don't notice the path getting narrower and narrower, you push further and further - out of sense of adventure, or curiosity, because what lies behind you is boringly well known territory. And you think to yourself "go on, try it, you can still turn around whenever you think you can't handle it", but you actually miss that last chance of turning around and then you're stuck on the narrow path and you can only go forward. And you advance carefully, trying not to fall off into the abyss that is gaping on each side - and regularly you slip off and have to painstakingly crawl back up to continue your inevitable one-way journey. And you keep thinking "how on Earth did I end up here??"
God how gloomy. It's not quite as bad as it sounds. Thing is, I need these people, I couldn't live without them (right now I mean - who knows what's in a few years? I think about that sometimes. where is this all gonna lead and where are we all gonna be in a few years' time?). And maybe it really was meant to be this way - maybe it really was inevitable and I just refused to acknowledge that for as long as I possibly could. I used to read stories of people doing extreme things and being melodramatic and (seemingly) creating problems where there were none - and now I am one of those people. And tho in my 'lucid' moments I shake my head at myself, I still can't help feeling the way I do. And well, maybe that is the normal way and not something that must be fought and suppressed.
Aaaand where has the cheerful chatter gone? Well at least it's a nice long entry, which should please some of the boreder people. I have been told my "bored at work" letters are not as boring as they seem to me - I guess that's good cuz it means I can write more of them and not feel guilty about boring people to death! 
And with this I shall leave you... for now.
If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again... (so not me)
Oh I liked that update. Lots of information. I even know who that 'person from the past' is as I stumbled across the comments and joined the conversation. lol
I also like 'Wir sind Helden' but I don't have a green iPod mini. I have a blue-grey one. I love my iPod. I never leave the house without it.
When are you gonna leave for NYC?
Posted by: Anne on Sat April 30, 2005 at 22:13I am looking forward to my iPod mini
We're flying on the 21st, so exactly three weeks from now (in fact in three weeks we will have arrived). I am very excited! 
Wir sind Helden are cool ja? I like the new single. Heard it in Lux. I downloaded a few songs from the previous album, didn't like all of them but thought I'd give them another chance.
Robert Gernhardt is a genius tho (waiting for Katja to appear and agree )
Robert G.! 
I want an ipod too. But you mustn't get all
upset and break the new one in itty bitty
pieces!
I'm going to ask for that Wednesday off.
It's going to be a looooong day. I must get there
early and get back at night. New York City
is exciting. What else are we doing besides
Moby?
You should listen to your Moby. It's very New
Order, Depeche Mode, retro. And it's nice. He's
a cute guy and I hope you enjoy seeing him. It
was fun when he spontaneosly does stuff. I want
to dance around in a field to his music in ecstasy
as he was saying.
You have the power to do anything you want.
At least I believe that. I don't think anything can
stop me. Dreams can come true. :)
Jimmy you don't have to come see us if it's that much of a hassle. It would be nice but I don't want you to crash because you have to drive tired or sth. 
I won't smash the iPod, it's too expensive for that. I only smash replacable stuff.
I don't believe in all that "the sky is the limit" stuff, sorry. 