First off, grab your eyeliner and draw a big fat line all around your eye. And when I say fat, I mean biiig & fat. First, draw a "normal" line as you would see on any woman out there. Then make it twice as thick. Look in the mirror. Do you look ghastly already? If not, apply another layer. Don't forget the typical "egyptian" looking tail on the outer edge of the eye.

NEXT STEP: MORE EYELINER