- October 2002 -
:: 31Oct02 23:30 :: CLARISSA :: Some of you may know that my online name comes from the Nickelodeon kiddie sitcom Clarissa Explains It All (starring the cool Melissa Joan Hart) which I used to watch religiously. Anyway, I've just found that the very first site I visited about the show is still online here, although it hasn't been updated since 1996. That's kinda cool. The other cool thing is that Clarissa is back on telly on German Channel SuperRTL (musta been for a while), only once a week but it's better than nothing. It's all sorta like going back to my roots.
:: 31Oct02 19:30 :: YOU SEEN? :: New look. Guess it's hard to miss. Means I have done diddly squat for school again... damn, and I've just remembered the stupid paper I need to correct, too. I'm such a lazy cow. Gonna visit my horsey now and then do some work. No honest! *sigh* Hate work.
Three people you think to be a genius:
Three things that were invented and that you think to be cool:
Three things you played with most when you were a child:
Three words you often use:
Three sounds you find disturbing:
Three hurting experiences:
Three things you'd never do:
Three charities you'd donate to:
Three things you'd forbid your kids to do:
Three things you wish you hadn't done:
Three things you're thankful for:
If you had the talent to, what would you do?
Would you like to be of another race?
Would you like to be of another religious group?
Would you like to be of the opposite sex?
Somebody's diary you'd like to read:
Somebody you'd like to come to your funeral:
:: 30Oct02 19:30 :: NORMAL DIARY ENTRY :: Like, one with news and daily stuff, and not psycho stuff and MJ. Just an update on my life, whatever that is. Remember the Wyclef concert I was supposed to go to? He cancelled, the bastard. Was quite disappointed, but the good thing is, I can study instead. Have two exams next week... it's important shit I tell ya. Moby, lol, he has this competition where ppl can try to do a video for one of his songs off 18, and now I have this obsession that I wanna make a few. Even if I don't win, he selects them himself, so he goes thru all the stuff... he'd see what I have created! That'd be pretty awesome! Esp. since I couldn't go to see him because of my bloody job... nor Alicia... see why the Wyclef thing pisses me off so much?
:: 30Oct02 11:30 :: COMMENTS :: Okay, bloody enetation is down again, which blocks my whole diary page, so I've removed the comments feature for now... I'll see if I can find an alternative somewhere. Something that doesn't involve php. *lol* Edit OK, I've found Haloscan and apparently it's more reliable. Definitely faster than Enetation right now.
:: 29Oct02 23:30 :: ME, MY FRIENDS, MICHAEL JACKSON & THE NET :: Yeah so this morning I had an appointment with this psychologist person. She's quite nice. It's my call what I want to do about the problems I have, I have another appointment in a fortnight. Anyway, she hasn't really told me anything radically new about myself, but it does make a difference hearing it from someone other than your own confused self. I have an addictive personality (I knew that), the Internet thing is one of the symptoms (I'd feared she'd say that), what I look for in MJ is something I am lacking elsewhere (that was so predictable), and my equally unstable, depressed and often withdrawn friends are a bad influence at the present time (heard that one before).
:: 29Oct02 09:30 :: CHEER UP VEGA :: Here's my complementary diary entry to Grudge's about Vega... Sara's right, there's probably something missing, but aren't we all looking for the missing parts. If depression takes over your life, try to get help is all I can say. Oh and Sara, yes I do know Vega's name thanks to Karin who brought me the Frida article about her... among other things. So if you want it to start stalking her, let me know *muah-ha-ha* (ok, kidding! We're all harmless. I see squiZZle stalks Grudge. I think I'll join that clique too, it's cool).
:: 28Oct02 21:55 :: GUINEA PIGS II :: OK I've done it. Lucy has this insanely cute habit of jumping on my shoulder so I got my mum to film that. It's kinda dark, but the file's only 72kb (DivX) and it's the most adorable thing :D Download here. I'll put it on the pigs section soon.
:: 28Oct02 19:55 :: GUINEA PIGS :: And Vega beat me to it again - I was gonna do a video of my pigs too! Pfft. *g* Anyway, you MUST check out hers, it's soooooo freakin' cute!!! BTW, Guinea Pig fans must also check out this site for some seriously cute rodent audio, video and flash!!! :D I think I'll update my pigs pics page soon with some new cute ones. In the meantime, you can see Charlie on the Live page. :D
:: 28Oct02 11:40 :: squiZZle-isms :: There, I couldn't resist. After spying on Grudge & finding out her full name (plus I know how it's pronounced now, yay! Now I can ask around for her. Tho I guess people in Lux wouldn't know her *g*), er anyway, now I had to try & unravel the mysteries of squiZZle's Googlisms... and I found out the following:
:: 27Oct02 20:20 :: DEPRESSION :: Let's see if I can post a reply to Karin's diary entry before she gets home... or online... or to my site. I was reminded of Prozac Nation when I read it, Elizabeth Wurtzel said something very similar. Ah, here we have it, thank God for Google:
:: 26Oct02 22:20 :: MICHAEL JACKSON :: The wonderful Vega (who has put her site back online!) has drawn my attention to Googlism which pulls out random "facts" about something or someone, based on the Google Search Engine. I ran "Michael Jackson" through their thingy, the result covered the whole spectrum of opinions about MJ. Here are a few samples:
God, I couldn't imagine my life without Michael Jackson, he is so important to me, and I owe him so much. It's weird, cuz I don't necessarily share his political beliefs like I share Moby's or Jacques Brel's (or many other people's), I don't believe in God like he does, unlike him I strongly dislike children, I am so different from him in many ways... but he's accompanied me for the past 14 years - very much so over the past 5 years. He is like family to me... the love I feel for him is indescribable. I don't agree with everything he does or says, but that doesn't matter because even if I doubt him sometimes, what binds me to him is stronger than that. It's a reassuring thing to know. And it's incredibly important to me.
:: 26Oct02 14:20 :: WASTING MY TIME :: I wrote all my 'to do' stuff for today on little scraps of paper earlier. The plan was to pick them randomly and do them in that order. They were:
The first one I drew was the school stuff one, and then I thought nah, it WOULD be better to tidy the room first cuz then I'd have more room to spread out the stuff that needs organising. So I decided to do that first after all, as soon as I'd checked all important sites online.
I spent another 3 hours on the computer (quite remarkable considering NO ONE is online and the boards are dead), watched another episode of Blackadder, then went downstairs for lunch. Now it's past 2 and I still haven't done any of the stuff on the list.
It's not raining at the moment, which is a plus, but it's stormy and it will start raining again soon anyway. It rained all night and all morning. Yay. *sigh*
Went out with the people from work last night tho (the young 'uns), they're all rather cute I must say. It's better to work with nice people than with arseholes. Oh, and we're on holiday now, did I tell you? It's not really a holiday tho cuz I have to start studying for my exams. In fact, I have to start and finish studying cuz the first one is on the 5th of November. Which is why I need to organise the school stuff... which is why I must tidy my room first. Which is what I am going to do right now. In theory.
:: 25Oct02 11:20 :: FREAKIN HILARIOUS WEBSITE :: It doesn't happen often these days that I literally laugh out loud at a website, but AllTooFlat.com certainly worked for me. You must check out their pranks, especially the Lion and the Crossing Man. Veeery funny guys!!!!!! :D
:: 25Oct02 01:10 :: VIDEO ENTRY :: CLICK TO OPEN REAL PLAYER
I betcha no one will understand a word of what I said cuz I talk so fast. But there's no way I'm gonna do a transcript or something LOL. The whole point was NOT having to type :P It's a link now cuz the embedded player takes ages to load. Even longer than the Comments feature.
:: 24Oct02 22:30 :: STATEMENT :: Moby just said live on MTV that George W. Bush is an insane fascist. How cool is this guy. *lol* I'll go & do shower pics now. And some more of my hair.
:: 23Oct02 0:30 :: REAL LIFE STUFF :: I watched Memento today, Tobias had sorta recommended it after what I wrote about Vanilla Sky. I kinda liked it. He's right, it leaves questions open at the end, but I guess you can fill in the answer whichever way it pleases you. It's definitely intriguing tho and FAR less disturbing than Vanilla Sky. Still on the movie topic, I am desperately looking for Caro Diario by Nanni Moretti, I want the original version subtitled, my Italian is just not good enough without it... no DVD so I guess I can forget about it. Anyway, beautiful film. What's waiting for me.... Cruel Intentions, Original Sin, Romeo Must Die, Minority Report... so many films, so little energy.
:: 22Oct02 11:30 :: DON'T LIKE WORK :: Not sure if I like life. Right now I'm just blurgh. Or ugh, whatever you wanna call it. Don't wanna go to work. This weather depresses me like hell. I'm bored. I must have sth like 4 films waiting to be watched... and books waiting to be read... wish I could be bothered. I also feel like changing this place round a bit... but don't know how. Or if I can be bothered. I also don't know what to do with my hair... I was looking thru some old pics with my red-red hair, like the Ponytails sesh, and GOD I miss that colour so much! So yeah, I wonder if I could go back to it.
:: 20Oct02 22:20 :: PIGS, PICS & LAZINESS :: My pigs are the cutest things. Check these two pics of Lucy - taken at exactly one month's interval...
Remarkable innit? The difference I mean. Especially the hair has grown. You don't realise until you compare directly like this. Too cute. OK I keep repeating myself. They ARE tho!!
Been SOOO lazy today, done NONE of the work I shoulda, so either I go to bed now and wake up at 6am tomorrow, or I do some work now... um.... night! *lol* Oh yeah, I watched Gone in Sixty Seconds tho, fun film, great car chase! Also went for lunch with my nan, booooring is no word for it. Kate rang tonight, was fun catching up. She's such a sweetie, oh and she's moving to Southampton :) OK and now I'm off.
:: 20Oct02 15:30 :: SPAM :: There's hope!
:: 19Oct02 22:30 :: AUTUMN :: Instead of going to the hairdresser's, I went for this long walk (well, 2hrs) with my darling horsey cuz the weather was so nice (albeit cold)... I took my cam so I have some pics to share with you...
Um yeah, other than that... interesting little soap between MJNI board & Carty board... at first I was annoyed, then I was amused, so I guess it's all good. The Internet is a funny place. Are we all lunatics after all? Who knows.
:: 19Oct02 12:30 :: BORED :: Sometimes it's really hard to find a title for an entry. Like, when it's about nothing special. Like now. I am bored, I've done all that needed doing (well except the stuff for school, but I have plenty of time for that tomorrow). I've also read all the blogs I'm addicted to, checked my news sites and boards... yawn, the Internet has nothing more to offer me.
:: 18Oct02 20:20 :: SEX GOD :: I've finally updated the Sex God site - only about a month late. It's just SO much effort - well it's not really, but too much anyway. I should be ok until the end of the year tho. Not like I have any time for that kinda stuff now. Um yeah that's it. Uodating my diary is too much effort too. No comments feature here either, what is there to comment on?
:: 17Oct02 23:20 :: MOVIES BABY! :: I must have watched more films in the last month than during the five years before that. Just finished downloading Gone in 60 Seconds, will watch that over the week-end. I hadn't realised that was the one where my goddess Angelina looks so damn hot - glad I got it now, even tho I dislike Nic. Cage (and no, it has nothing to do with LMP *g*). Oh yeah, I also watched Save The Last Dance today, was kinda cute. Simple plot, sorta lame and soppy in places, but nice film all the same. And DAMN, Sean Patrick Thomas is GORGEOUS, fucking hell! Must get more movies with him in 'em. Cruel Intentions for instance.
:: 16Oct02 08:50 :: VANILLA SKY :: Yeah, so I ended up renting it cuz everyone spoke so highly of it (well not EVERYone, but some people) and I couldn't find it on the file sharers. And I must say... I really did NOT like it. I found it disturbing and nightmarish. The whole story was just totally freakish and Tom Cruise's character scared the crap out of me. The weird 'explanation' at the end didn't make it better, but worse. So, um, yeah. *lol* Just thought I'd share that. Weird how different people can feel so differently about a film.
:: 15Oct02 00:20 :: BUGGER! An odyssey :: LOL actually it's quite amusing now that I'm back home again. I had an appointment at the doctor's at 10 this morning. I wasn't sure of their addie so I checked it online - it was where I thought it was. So off I went, parked my car in a paying car park, walked to the address... and found a sign saying "we've moved to..." - I had NO idea where that was, plus it was 5 to 10 already! Anyway, it had the tel.no too so I tried to ring them while running back to the car. But the number was constantly engaged - I was mighty pissed off, esp. as the receptionist is quite a moody bitch, so I expected to be told off... *g* As I was rushing through a shop (shortcut thru to the next street), I pushed past an old couple blocking the way. The old bastard went (to his wife) "Did she just push past you?" (then to me) "hey, what are you doing you cow" LOL and I shouted back at him "you can kiss my arse" (well, it was in Luxbgish, but that's a pretty good translation LOL).
:: 15Oct02 00:20 :: Talk to my bot :: LOL, thanks to Seb I have (re)discovered the joys & funs of bots... esp. when they're supposed to be you! *lol* Yeah ok, don't expect too much - Clarissabot likes MJ and green, has guinea pigs & is owned by her BML, but she often gets confused. *giggle* Unfortunately, there's no way to dissuade her from praying. Little bastard programmers! Anyway, if you're bored, visit her for endless hours of fun :P - alternatively, you can talk to Seb's bot, but HE doesn't know that Cartman is Michael Jackson! LOL
:: 14Oct02 13:20 :: Citz to visit BML over Christmas!!!!! :: Just in, hot off the press!!!! A sensation! Our correspondent from Glasgow, er Luxembourg, er, somewhere in the middle, reports... *crrsssk* "Yes, it is true! If all goes well, it's gonna happen! Fuckin' exciting if you ask me (we didn't)! We'll keep you updated!!" - thanks correspondent (what's your name again?).
:: 13Oct02 22:50 :: SUNDAY :: Yes that was today. Haven't done much - worked on the Nerd Shirt a little, cleaned out my guinea-pigs and made them some new places to hide (actually I'll have to take pics of that stuff to show y'all how MUCH these darn pigs RULE MY LIFE LOL). Oh, we also put Goliath together (yes yes, 2 months after I bought him!!!), it was quite short & painless, no shouting at each other. Oh oh, and I did an ownage pic for me BML (first ownage pic I've done for someone without a site. But me BML is veeerrrry speshul :D) Anyway, yeah, so click here to view the fab animated BML ownage pic :P
:: 13Oct02 14:20 :: WYYYYYYCLEF!!!! :: Finally a concert!!! :D I missed Alicia Keys & Pink cuz I was too late & there were no tickets left, I missed Moby cuz I had to work at 8am the next day... so now I'm going to see Wyclef Jean in Frankfurt on the 2nd Nov!!! I am soooooo excited you have no idea!!! Wyclef Wyclef Wyclef!!! :D :D :D *jumping around like a kid* Heeeeheeeeeheeee! :) OMG I love him so much and it's gonna be soooo cool!
:: 12Oct02 17:00 :: KILLING A MYTH :: Remember Hampsterdance? You haven't been there in a while, right? Neither had I. Well, have a look. That's right, flashy site, Hampsters dancing for Xmas, for Thanksgiving, Hampster T-shirts, Hampster CDs, Dixie Hampster, Fuzzy Hampster and whatnot. Ugh. And it's funny because... ? You're right, it's not.
:: 12Oct02 13:03 :: YAY! SHIRT DESIGN II :: Thanks to Karin, I've finally become creative again.. well a little. Bought myself 2 shirts to dabble with. I've got more coming hopefully, but this is my first one and I'm actually quite pleased with the result. Can't wait to wear it :D BTW, The Raven is a most amazing poem, read the full version here.
The funny thing is, I'd dug out all my textile colours and stuff and now I did a printout transfer. *g* But as I said, more to come hopefully. Maybe a combination. I have an idea for a "Nerd" one... :)
:: 11Oct02 23:15 :: MUSICAL INNOVATION :: I love Michael Jackson with all my heart, and admire him for many things achieved, but musically he has never been very innovative. He's a perfectionist, he can create pure beauty... but innovation? Like The Beatles did, and Queen, and Freddie Mercury, Mike Moran & Montserrat Caballé with the incredible Barcelona album? Unprecedented... and of incomparable beauty. I'd gladly sacrifice Invincible for another Barcelona. *ahem*
:: 11Oct02 11:25 :: MISSING :: It seems that the England depression is smoothly taking over from the Dad depression. I knew it would be hard to leave - that's why I went back last year, to drag it out some more. I'd considered staying... I was fairly sure I wouldn't in the end, things are so much safer here, but at least I could think about it. Obviously my dad's death changed that, there was no way I could leave my mum alone, at least not in the first couple of years - and tbh I'm also quite fond of my fairly safe job & secure future.
:: 09Oct02 23:45 :: MEMORIES :: It's weird how I associate certain somgs or albums with different times in my life... often it's only a vague feeling, diffuse memory flashes... There are a number of Beatles songs (Across The Universe especially) that take me back to a particular summer where I was staying at my nan's & cycling to my horsey every day... and I have one very precise picture of me cycling thru a roundabout - and that picture carries with it all sorts of more vague reminiscences to that summer. Things I couldn't describe, but they're locked within me somewhere - the whole atmosphere of that summer, with all its events & experiences.
:: 09Oct02 14:15 :: THERE, HAPPY NOW? :: (this is for Michelle) I have a comments tool. Thanks to Jess cuz I found it on her site. :P I have a headache too, but I will go shopping all the same now. Out of this place. I bet this is what gives me headaches. OK maybe it's the cold, but anyway. Fresh air will do me good. Yay. Might even get creative afterwards. Probably not tho, too much effort.
:: 09Oct02 12:15 :: STUPID TAGBOARD II :: Damnit! Now that I've completely changed my main page round and moved the Tagboard to a separate page, it's super-fast - but no one uses it cuz they're all too lazy to go looking for it! :( I feel like buying some gadget today... can't think of anything tho. Maybe a new webcam, my old one is pretty shite. Whatever I do, I think I'll go somewhere this afternoon. Sitting at home all the time is kinda crap if you think about it. I'd love to go rollerblading actually, the weather is so nice, but with this embryo of a cold I have I'd better be careful. Don't wanna give it the chance to develop. Guess I could just wrap up warm? We'll see.
:: 08Oct02 22:00 :: STUPID TAGBOARD :: I'm majorly fed up with that stupid Tag Board taking so long to load. I think I'll put it on a separate page or even a popup, so ppl can keep checking out the site while it loads. I wonder how many visitors were put off because they thought my main page wasn't working.
:: 07Oct02 22:30 :: MAKING NO SENSE :: I'm so tired. Tired of being so confused, so little in tune with myself, so lost. I so totally don't like this feeling, I wanna know where I stand, at least I wanna be able to put my problems into words. That way at least I could explain them to someone and hope for helpful suggestions... to help me make sense of it all. But the way things are now I can't even explain. I'd need someone to ask exactly the right questions, and how could anyone do that since they don't know me & my problems?
:: 06Oct02 22:50 :: TWO FUNNY THINGS AND MY UPDATE :: I have the strangest shaped ears. I find ears weird anyway, and I must admit I've seen stranger ears than my own... but mine are kinda funny-shaped too. Click here to see what I mean. Big ear lobes. Strange. Not that I care much.
:: 05Oct02 12:15 :: ROLE MODELS II :: OK, finally I get round to replying to Seb's role model reply... (hehe sorry Seb, I'm terrible).
:: 03Oct02 23:15 :: EZBOARDS ARE DOWN :: and keep extending their down-time, so I will do the same for my diary. I seriously need some sleep, today was pretty stressful... so I'll get back to y'all (Seb & role models, Michelle & CC bras...) tomorrow - pwomise! Tonight is just not the time. *yawn* Can't wait for the week-end.
:: 02Oct02 16:15 :: COMING UP ON CLARISSAWEB :: Well there's all these things I wanna talk about and I can't do it all at the same time cuz I have stuff to do... like, real life stuff, anyway, lemme write them down so I can come back to them later... hopefully.