:: 29May03 20:15 :: WAVING FROM WARM WARWICK :: LOL I can hear you going "Enough with the crap alliterations!" *giggle* Anyway, this will be a very short entry to let y'all know I'm still alive and doing well, in Coventry this time.

   Cardiff was fab, good chats and good night out, lazy morning lie-in and that was pretty much it. Staying in a NICE flat in the centre of town, hehe.

   I've visited the work people over here, they are so lovely, making the round of all the offices I got to whinge and complain about my job a lot. *hehe* Now I'm staying with Lady Nour, eating, chatting and giggling.

   That's it. I've done a TINY little bit of work, but there ain't much motivation. Will have early night now, am SO knackered. See you all Saturday probably.

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:: 28May03 10:45 :: SITTING IN SUNNY SOUTHAMPTON :: Aaargh bloody IE just crashed on me so had to start again. Am updating in notepad now.

   So how's it going everyone? Everything's funky my end (my end being the South, hehe), had LOADS of fun so far! Started out in Brighton on Sunday, which happened to be the last day of the Festival, so we did some festivally stuff (I met up with uni friend Chris you see). Other than that I mainly went shopping, I bought SO much stuff my boot was full after the first day! MANY books, not so many clothes, but just lots of tiny rubbish. Was fun.

   Also took loads of photos of course, mainly of my two obsessions, the cemetery (tho I'd promised myself I would just visit and not take pics) and the West Pier. God you people should see the poor thing! I only found out now that BOTH parts burned down one after the other! Bastards who did that! *grrr*

   Yep, after Brighton came Southampton, where I've been since Monday night. Didn't get to see much of it (ok I would have had I got up before 2pm yesterday), but had lots of fun and chats and stuff with my darling Kate. Also travelled up to Salisbury yesterday to add another Cathedral to my collection. Bit of a hassle, but nice.

   Yeah that's pretty much it. Will be off to Cardiff in an hour or so. Have been doing a lot of thinking and decided I will almost definitely move back here. Here being, I dunno, preferably Brighton, but maybe London or sth. I realised how much I missed it when I finally arrived, I felt SO happy, it was like coming home. Everything's just so me here, everything's wonderful! And I hate my job at home anyway.

   I suppose I WILL try to finish my teacher training tho. Much as I hate it, it will be safer to have SOMETHING. And I think once I see the end of it, I might be more relaxed about it than if I keep imagining I'll have to do this for the rest of my life.

   Right well that's it for me, I better be off, have much to do and must be off soon. I may well update again from Coventry, since I'll have some sort of internet access there. Have a nice one everyone!!!!!

   PS Not missing the Internet ONE bit! Only checked mail a couple of times. But only cuz awaiting BML Me mails.

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:: 24May03 22:45 :: ENGLAND CALLING :: Right, I've finished packing and all, so as soon as I'm done online, I will be off for five hours of sleep (sigh). Yeah, am off tomorrow at 5am (eek), I'm going to England in case you didn't know. I am immensely excited, you have no idea! Hehehe. WOOHOO! :D

   I was gonna do a longer diary entry earlier today, but just been busy doing stuff. I've cleaned out Yoopie, you know, the old car, and ugh. There's a leak somewhere.... or just generally old and rusty, anyway, there's water inside and he smells and he's mouldy and.. ugh. He makes strange noises too. So I've kinda decided to give him away. I might try to sell the tyres and give the car for free. I'll be happy if I can get rid of it without having to PAY someone!! LMAO

   Also tidied him up, incl. the glove compartment which was full of reminders of the past... directions to people's houses, parking fines, return tickets on Eurotunnel.. including the one from when my dad died, which I never used cuz, well, he died, so I didn't travel back on the Sunday as planned. *shudder* It will be a year in a bit more than a week, and I feel a bit guilty about leaving my mum on her own at this time. But I can't cope with staying here. Am SOOO looking forward to getting away and seeing friends. And seeing England. Miss it so much.

   Haven't had the best time recently, with dad's death being so present and also with my crap of a job. Not too keen on that at the moment, as you might have guessed from the "pulling a sickie" thing on Thursday. Hate hate hate it. Wanna quit. Don't wanna do it. Anyway, will have a break from it now, will whinge to my friends about it, and will give it some thought. I can feel the London temptation tho... *hehe*

   Anyway. Am off now (see, WAS long entry after all!). May update if I'm bored, so have set up Diary-X again. I recommend you check that from time to time. Byeeeee!!! *waving*

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:: 23May03 12:45 :: CEASE & DESIST :: *gulp* I have just received the following statement by electronic mail:

I, the undersigned, in the name of The BML/Citz'z BML, would like to stress my complete and utter distaste, horror and lack of appreciation of the current 'worshipping' undertaken by the recipient, Citz Me aka Me Citz, of a certain internet persona known as "squiZZle". I find this worshipping wholly inappropriate and hurtful and would like to emphasise my ownership of the recipient, as agreed by legally binding oral contracts previously undertaken between the two affected parties. The aforementioned contract clearly states that Citz is owned by BML, and vice versa should the question arise. Such dalliances with other internet personas are highly forbidden, especially when conducted in such a form as to be referred to as "worship".

I hereby remind you of your contractual obligations and look forward to a cessation of such worshipping, from this point onwards. Failure to do so will result in severe action being taken against you, maximum penalty would be the removal of all your ownership of the BML.

I look forward to your response and actioning of this demand.



I have promised a response within one hour... I will have to give this some thought. I mean, I don't mind not worshipping sir squiZZle, He of the scary eyes anymore since I've only just started (and no miracles so far, Sir, no no!)... but will that entail revoking all the declarations of worship made last night? Hopefully Citz's BML aka BML Me will give me further instructions which will allow me to make a decision. I do urge BML Me aka Citz's BML to take my extreme laziness into consideration.

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:: 22May03 23:45 :: VIDEO UPDATE :: By popular request, here's another video update, finally. Click here to download (689KB, 1:07min). That should keep you amused for a while

   EDIT - REVELATION: I hereby declare that I have found God! Finally the path to His Eternal Greatness hath been opened up before mine humble eyes. I was blind, but now I see. Hark, hark! Indeed, the Lord is among us!!!! He wishes to be called sir squiZZle, He of the scary eyes and He resides at SQUIZZLE.CO.UK. I urge you all to visit His Heavenly Abode and see the light that is now illuminating my unworthy life!!!

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:: 22May03 12:15 :: NECK OBSESSION :: Hehehehe, y'all know I'm obsessed with Michael Jackson's neck, yes? Esp. with his sexy sternocleidomastoids, well guess what? Brian Molko from Placebo has similarly sexy ones! Fascinating uh?

   Anyway, I've bought myself a ticket for the Placebo concert in Lux on the 8th of June, hehehehe, so I'll be able to drool at his neck for ages :) And poor Katja will be in Berlin at a Steinke family reunion, hehehe. No sexy necks there! (or mouths, if that happens to be your obsession, hehe).

   I called in sick at school, which is why I'm here. Shouldn't be you see. Will be off to bed again now anyway. I'm not really sick, just feeling very strange. And bed is a nice place to be. I think I really do hate my job. Which is quite different from a casual "aargh I hate my job!" exclamation. I think.

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:: 21May03 12:15 :: EVILNESS II... & MJ :: Yeah so you might remember how I was pissed off cuz people were hotlinking to the Sexgod site pics again without bloody asking, and how I tried to disable it but it made the whole site disappear. Well I saw the same person's icon again now and got really annoyed again (it's a friggin' 378KB Gif too, for Christ's sake, and EZboard resizes it to 60x60 so you can't even bloody see what's going on!). Aaaanyway, I've decided to go for the primitive approach and have simply renamed the folder the site is in. I shall do that on a regular basis now. Just cuz I can. Har har har!

   I'm sat here with my class's papers waiting to be corrected.... I thought I'd do it at the PC instead of the telly (my usual spot), but the result is that I'm not getting ANYTHING done. *lol* I've booked my Eurotunnel journey to the UK tho, going on Sunday morning, Saturday would be too much stress. Me no like stress.

   I realised the other day that I haven't written about MJ for ages, and I figured that I've grown more detached from the whole, um... thing? Still love him, don't get me wrong, and I'd still travel 1000 miles to get to see him, but the whole fan world, obsession, conspiracies, gossip... I've pretty much withdrawn from it. Still have a whole lot of MJ fan friends, maybe more than ever before, but MJ or the fans are not at the forefront of my mind when I talk to them. Bit like Priscilla said on KOP, I've simply grown tired of the drama. Not that there is any interesting stuff going on anyway! Maybe that's why. Gimme a real soap opera! *hehe*

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:: 20May03 23:15 :: OMG SO CUUUUUUUUUTE!!!! :: You know I collect unusual soft toys yes? So what could be more unusual than this?!?!?!? They are Giant Microbes (buy here) and OMG they are insanely funny! So have ordered of course. Hehehehehe. Can't wait to get them :D So so so so so cute cute cute cute!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

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:: 20May03 17:25 :: ENGLAND HERE I COME? :: Currently trying to arrange my trip to the UK. Ain't as easy as I thought it would be... but if things go as planned, I'll travel like this:

   crossing on Sat 24th, quick trip to Canterbury (cathedral collection!)
   Sunday-Monday in Brighton (aaah my Brighton :)
   Tuesday in Southampton with Kate (if she's back by then)
   Wednesday travelling to Cardiff (Claire) via Salisbury (cathedral!) and Bath
   Thursday on to Coventry (Lady Nour & work people)
   Friday possibly London or sth... maybe visiting Christy if I can find her
   back on Saturday, via Asda to buy 20 bottles of traditional lemonade! *lol*

   Yeppers. That will involve an awful lot of driving. But me & Lara will cope. :) Not much else right now, there is so much I need to do and I simply can't be arsed. The weather can't make up its mind either. I think I'll go cuddle a puinea gig now. *hehehe*

   Slight change of plans, hehe, I'll go to Southampton Monday night til Weds morning, and I think I might just skip Bath so I'll be with Claire a little earlier :)

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:: 19May03 20:35 :: PISSING MYSELF :: OK I know I am a bit strange 'n' all, but I found this Rorschach test extremely funny. Hooray!

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:: 18May03 20:05 :: HELLO! :: Right, I'm on the way home from Paris. I'm sat with all sorts of annoying people. Am bored of all the other stuff I've done so far so I thought I'd write a diary update. I get bored rather easily. My attention span is, like, NOTHING! Virtually non-existent! Very worrying. Didn't get any work done either (correcting papers I mean). Ah well.

   Paris was great tho. God how I love that city! Perfection! Was staying with my friend who's at uni there & lives in the "Cité Universitaire", and I have to say I miss student life so much. You know, living with other people your age, gathering in the kitchen and discussing until late at night, stuff like that.

   I wanna go back to that, and I don't see why not. But I have to finish this training first and that's another 2yrs... and then I'll be 28. Kinda old to still be studying. Maybe I should just go back to the UK, get a job there and share a house with others. It's something that's just not done in Lux. It's weird cuz I was just saying to a friend that I like living on my own & all... and I do, but I like living with others too. Meh, I dunno. Maybe I'm just trying to hold on to sth that is gone forever.

   Next week is gonna be quite stressful, but hopefully on Sat I'll be off to the UK. I've decided to just drive up there & cruise around. So far I have 3 ppl I can visit, and 2 more places I wanna go, and other than that I'll just let things happen. Anyone in the South of England or Wales who wants to meet a crazy girl, give me a shout! :)

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:: 15May03 22:55 :: BLAH :: Just to satisfy you non-theology-interested people, here's a secular update. *lol* I am quite stressed at the moment - not saying I'm doing a lot of work, but I should do, I have all these things that need doing. Nevertheless I'll be off to Paris tomorrow. First I'll have my Satellite TV installed while I finish this important report, then I'll be off. Will be back on Sunday night. I've not yet decided whether to go by train or car. But Paris it will be. Hooray! About time :P

   Hahahaha, I am evil and I love it! Just saw someone hotlinking to a file on the SexGod Site, and tho it's on a free webspace again and I don't need to worry about bandwidth, I have to say it pisses me off if people just link to other people's pictures without even having the decency of asking, crediting, thanking or anything of the sort. I mean it's like borrowing your neighbour's car for a week! Greedy bastards! Anyway, I've disallowed hotlinking again now and it gives me intense pleasure to see the "broken image" icon instead of their signature/avatar (and yes I'm hotlinking to that smiley hahaha).

   Damnit. Now you can't access the site at all anymore. Oh sod them. Hate them. *sigh* ah well too bad.

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:: 15May03 20:25 :: WHERE'S GOD - REPLY TO MICHELLE :: Y'all are gon' hate me, but I've written such a long reply to Michelle's latest comment that I'll post it as an entry again... this was originally intended as a comment reply, so please forgive me for the lack of formatting.

>I completely read the interview now,
>and I guess the reason why you're so
>amazed about what he says is that
>you just see yourself in what he says.

    Of course. That's what I said the first time I gave the link. It's not like that interview has taught me anything revolutionary, he just expresses what I feel far more eloquently than I ever could. Tho I admit he doesn't go into detail about WHY he thinks this way. But this was an interview with an Atheist magazine, they don't need to be taught about atheism.

>But still I did not really find an
>answer to why being such a radical atheist.

    No I admit he doesn't really give them, he only skims the issues, but there is NO way he could explain them in a short interview. What he does say tho, and this is the basic argument to any longer discussion of the topic, is this: "God used to be the best explanation wed got, and weve now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining." That is my main argument too. We don't NEED a deity to explain the world anymore. On the contrary, the idea of a deity creates more questions & problems than it solves.

    What was before the big bang - I can give you a scientific explanation if you're really interested (tho I admit I'd have to re-read the details and I really don't have the time for that now). These may in part only be speculations and beginnings YET - they hint at things yet undiscovered, but they make sense. They don't pose any major problems to anyone half-educated. Why the need for a God?

   And on the other hand, what was before God? What I don't understand is how people can offer a deity as an explanation for the things we can't - YET - explain, without ever going beyond THAT!? Who created God????? WHY? How is THAT any easier to grasp than the idea of a never-ending universe? WHY is an infinite God better than an infinite Universe? How does THAT make sense?!

    Please DO explain it to me. Why should I have to justify my atheism (which is, after all, based on what I can SEE, on what scientists have studied and proven and so on), when (and that's the 2nd part of what Adams said) the idea of a God doesn't really make sense anymore. It may have done 500yrs ago when there was so little to go with, but a lot of the things that puzzled people back in the old days have been explained away by perfectly rational arguments. That devilish Science us atheists are so engrossed with.

    I am absolutely certain those things that we don't yet understand will one day be explained too. Why should I have any doubts? It has always worked so far. That's all there is, WHY go & look further? The reasons why ppl do it are of course varied and complex, I've mentioned some of them before. But the reason certainly ISN'T that a God explains the world. *lol*

>But I think to completely block out a possible
>existence of a thing called God is just as ignorant,

   Read him more carefully. He explains his train of thought. Tho you probably won't get him because "believers" usually can't understand the non-existence of a God. What Adams says is that he CAN prove, therefore DOES know that there's no God. This may seem arrogant to many people, and certainly most believers, but it's the truth & the reality for atheists. It's like proving that the Earth revolves around the Sun. No qualms about the whole thing. It's just... right there!

>because you do not want to think about questions
>that have to stay unanswered, because
>we havent found the answers yet.

   I don't get this part. Who doesn't want to think? Clearly it's the religious people that don't want to think, because they offer a cheap and lame explanation (a deity) to anything they can't yet grasp.

>I also find it easier to be an atheist than
>to be religious because of these unanswered
>questions somehow... but lost the track now.

   Yeah I think so too. So now you're trying to say that being an atheist is easier because belief in a God creates new problems "that you'd have to face"?! You've just turned Douglas Adams upside down and destroyed the one pro-God argument that most Atheists will grant believers: that it's easier to believe. Adams really must have confused you. ;)

>And if I said there 100% is no God I'd feel
>ignorant and I'd feel that I claim a thing that
>I can't know at all.

   Ah but you misunderstand again. "Radical atheists" like Adams do INDEED say that they KNOW, and they can prove it (well Adams can't anymore cuz he's dead). THAT was another one of his points! He says "I am convinced, I do NOT believe". And bringing the agnostic argument into this discussion totally distorts it, as true Atheists DO say they KNOW.

>I'd always be unsure about what I say.

   Well that's cuz you're not an Atheist then I guess.

>And I'd always try to justify then.

   I do try to justify here. Tho I don't put too much energy into it cuz experience has taught me that it is impossible to convince, that there are indeed different sets of logic for different convictions.

>because in lots of logical things there's an
>element missing and we don't know what it is.

    I think I mentioned this earlier. There are indeed things we do not understand, or can't completely explain yet. We have yet to discover many more breathtaking things - but these will be explained with Science & Logic - NOT with a God! What has a God explained so far? He was a "temporary" explanation for a lot of things - UNTIL Science took over!
   We believed lightning was the Wrath of the Gods until we discovered it was an electric discharge.
   We believed God made us the centre of the universe until we discovered we weren't.
   We believed we were descended from Adam & Eve until Darwin introduced the (r)evolutionary idea of evolution.
In all these things, religion has become useless. Don't you think the same thing will happen for those things we haven't discovered yet & will discover in future? WHY a God??? What's it good for?

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:: 13May03 00:25 :: STILL NO GOD - MY REPLIES :: I've decided to reply to the comments from the earlier entry here, as it will probably become quite a long reply. BTW I've thought about what Michelle asked: "WHY do you think you need stress that you're an atheist all the time?" and I think (one of) the answers is that it is quite defining in who I am. Say if I had to describe myself in 5 words, Atheist would definitely be one of them. It shapes my view on the world quite strongly - not so much as far as creation, evolution and whatnot are concerned, cuz I don't really have any doubts/questions about that. But a lot in respect to other people. And what happens around the world. And how religion evolved. How it shaped civilisation... you see, the whole thing looks quite different if you assume, as I do, that it's all a human construct. So yeah, that's why I need to stress it. Or part of why.

    Tobias, re: believers justifying themselves. I didn't mean practitioning, and I stressed that. But in my experience, in Lux, UK, as well as online, i.e. worldwide, MOST people, if ASKED, will reply that yes, they think there is a God, tho "they never give it much thought". That's exactly what I mean. A lot of people, and I mean largely non-intellectual people etc, who don't really spend much time on these issues, will reply "ah yes I DO believe there must be SOMETHING" if you confront them with it, if you ask them outright. Tho they never really gave it any thought - like any practitioning (or simply "interested") believer would do, or like any atheist would. A lot of them wouldn't even call it a "God", they might choose to call it "a force" or whatever, but they all agree that there HAS to be "something".

   Right, @ Lo & her Bulgakov. Quickly cuz must go: I don't believe man is or needs to be in control of the whole order of things on earth, or even his own fate. But I don't think a God is either. How would he? How does it show? A lot of factors, influences etc, work together to make the world evolve & do what it does. I think it is indeed (among many many other things) the human fear of not being in control that makes them invent a God. Of course they can't "control" their God or order him to do anything, but He operates according to their logic, and this makes them feel safer.

   Yeah that's it, gotta go. *lol* Again, I urge you to read Douglas Adam's interview with American Atheist and his speech Is there an artificial God? if you are interested in (my) Atheist ideas. At any rate, DO it if you intend to reply to me ;) Karin, the Interview will also give another example of why I think that crap below is typically American. "Proper" entry later.

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:: 13May03 00:25 :: THERE IS NO GOD :: I am an atheist. I feel like I can never stress this enough. Most ("Western") people (and a lot of my friends) aren't avid believers, practising Christians or stuff like that; they don't believe in institutionalised religion (that ain't fashionable no more) - but if you ask them, they'll tell you they do believe there is a God of some sort, somewhere... cuz you know, like, "there's gotta be something, where else would all of this come from, I mean, LOOK at the pretty blue sky!"

   Then there's the agnostics. They're the ones who aren't sure what to think. As in "well there's no proof either way, is there? So I'll declare that I don't know." I had an agnostic phase. When I wasn't sure what to think. But I'm sure now. Yes I do think there is proof. So I declare that I do know.

   To me there IS no God. There is NO doubt about it. Not even a 1% chance. I have my reasons to be convinced, I could explain them, I could write pages about the topic. But what would be the point? I don't wanna convert anyone to anything! I just feel like making it clear, absolutely clear. TO ME, THERE IS NO GOD! See how I add "to me" at the beginning? That's because I accept people who choose to believe that there is. Unlike most believers who think they have to convert the rest of the world to their way of thinking!

   I'm not an atheist because I think it's cool. Or because both my parents are/were. Or because I'm rebelling against the catholic bigotry in this country. I can probably justify my Atheism better than most of you wishy-washy believers can justify your worship. Or you moron believers who never even think of questioning what you are being indoctrinated. After all, why should you - believing is a lot easier than not believing. Believe me!

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:: 12May03 13:50 :: MAKES ME LAUGH :: Jeez, I'm still not sure whether this is a joke or serious... tho I fear it's serious indeed... which is kinda scary, but funny all the same. Um anyway, I'm talking about Objective: Christian Ministries, they're these absolute freaks... fundamentalist sectarian Christians. I mean, they shouldn't be allowed to propagate this stuff.

   Make sure you check out their page 4 Kidz (this is where I got the Atheist thing from... there's worse tho) and also Creation Education - you might learn something! *lol* Their Guestbook is fun too. Good to see that most people are just as appalled as I was.

   Maybe I'm prejudiced but stuff like this strikes me as typically American. Some of the people involved in this actually teach at university - ok, Christian universities, but still! These people are as far from the Bible as Bin Laden is from the Quran! Not that I believe in either of those. *lol* Proud to be a Heretic! *evil cackle*

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:: 11May03 13:10 :: RANDOM RAMBLE :: Geez, all these people complaining that I should update... such pressure! *shakes head* OK then. Not that I have much to tell. I washed my Lara yesterday. Indeed. LMAO. I also drove to Trier, tested her limits on German motorways (220kmh max, 200kmh is what she can hold over a longer time), played with her Auto Cruise feature (SOOOO friggin cool!!!), bought myself Rayman for GBA and a bluetooth set for my Mikey and Yoshi, so I can build myself a li'l network if I want - and also to connect Blanket to Mikey. So far I haven't managed to get it to work. I might try again later (so no, I haven't reinstalled yet Tobias :P)

   Yeah cuz outside is the sun. And I got my mum to promise she'd come for a cruise with me. So that will have to be done first. Hooray! Must also tidy around here, clean pigs and wash hair. Less hooray. Ah yes, and I was gonna show you some funny search queries people have used to find my site... nothing too juicy, but some weird stuff. Check this:

   What surprises me most tho is that altho these people must see from the summary on the search engine that my site has nothing to do with their query, they still click on it! Is it curiosity? Stupidity? Hm...

   I watched Amadeus again last night - first time in ages. So I'm all Mozart-obsessed again now. That guy was sooooooo incredible and wonderful and cool and funny and genial and superb. The Music, the Music! No music is like his! (sorry Michael :P) Oh btw I took that Dante's Inferno test that Michelle found, the results are funnily accurate and can be found on my Quizzes page. That's it. I'm hungry. Byeee.

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:: 09May03 22:30 :: CITZ :: LMAO! Remember Googlism? Well I just remembered it and played with it a little... and ran Citz thru it (for those of you who live on the moon: Citz is one of my nicknames (short for Citizen of Pop, my EZboard username), started by BML Me & now used by a fair number of people). Anyway, then I thought I could google for Citz and found a few interesting ones... *hehe* I'm not alone!

  • Livejournal Citz (short: LJ's Citz, hehe) lives in - wait for it - Glasgow (!!!), likes Moby, The Osbournes, mad aussies (LMAO), rainbows, internet, being messy, photography... unfortunately also likes kids, pepsi max and jazz. Still, not too bad :) Shame he's male, 17, single and looking! *lol*
  • You can check the stockmarket quotes for CITZ here - CITZ being CFS (Citizens Financial Services) Bancorp Inc. As far as I can tell, they're pretty stable. +0.12 on Friday. Maybe I should invest.
  • At Citz.co.uk resides the Citizens Theatre of... yes you guessed it, Glasgow. They also have an unofficial website here. If you're in the US you might prefer the American Citizen's Theatre at TheCitz.com
  • Entry No. 54 on Google will finally take you to this humble place, thanks to the "Aaawwww BML Me be soooo cute calling She Citz on mobile" and "CITZ WANTS BML" - both of which have moved to the archive by now. But this entry should keep me in the Citz search results :P

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:: 09May03 00:40 :: SPEED DEMON :: Mehehehe. Lara does indeed do 200km/h. Well that's the fastest I got so far. I think she can do better than that. I'll have to drive to Germany this week-end to really test her abilities. And she'll have to be a Lara after all cuz she's just too divinely cool to be called anything else. Gawd you should see us! Her performance is so effortlessly perfect. If you know what I mean. Yes I think I'll probably die in a car accident. This is only the beginning. I will need a more powerful car eventually... tho this is the fastest one I've driven so far, incl. borrowed ones. Lara is faster than any of my parents' cars ever were, and that makes me feel slightly, hum, guilty (ok so they've never really been into fast cars). But I think I'll get over it. *lmao* VROOM!

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:: 08May03 09:20 :: UPDATE :: Yes, sorry for lack of updates, I have absolutely no time at the moment. Haven't really got any now either, so I'm really just letting you know that. Hopefully over the week-end (ok I might write something before that, but only if I have something really important to say). Won't be able to mail before that either. Sorry.

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:: 05May03 21:20 :: SEX ON WHEELS :: Well what more is there to say. Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara Lara etc. Sorry JarJar. She's just too fabulicious. And best of all, she's mine and mine only!!! Mine mine mine mine!!! OMG. Again: mine mine mine!!! :D :D :D :D Yeah so of course you will be subjected to pix. Meh, what am I saying. It's an HONOUR to see pics of her. She's divine! She's... out of this world. And she's (indeed) MINE! Ahaha! Here she is:

   Yeah but she ain't registered yet so I can't drive her until Weds. That's when the insurance switches from old car to new car. New car = Lara. Lara is on my mobile. Lara is my PC wallpaper. I think I might spend the night inside Lara. Lara smells nice. Lara does 200km/h. Lara has auto cruise. Lara has leather seats. Lara is black and shiny. And OMG Lara gets respect on the motorway!!! LMAO people actually move their fat slow arses out of the way when I come racing along. *haha* So yeah, Lara looks kinda aggressive. Hooray. And she feels.. UGH she feels so sexy. She feels so powerful! Actually she looks and feels quite manly so I might have to rename her after all. Maybe Joe. After the Quarter Horse stallion, another love of my life... she looks a bit like him. Except she has wheels and he has legs. *lmao*

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:: 04May03 10:50 :: THE ORACLE OF BACON AT VIRGINIA :: provides hours of fun... well maybe not hours, but certainly 20mins or so. It allows you to link any actor or actress to Kevin Bacon using the IMDB database. Now for those of us that aren't obsessed with Kevin Bacon, you can also link any other 2 stars. It's a most intriguing thing. Who'd have thought you can link Eminem (8 Mile, 2002) to Max Schreck (of Nosferatu (1922) fame, died in 1936), in only 4 steps? It goes like this:

Max Schreck was in Peter Voss, der Millionendieb (1932) with Rudolph Anders
Rudolph Anders was in Prize, The (1963) with Jerry Dunphy
Jerry Dunphy was in Dropping Out (2000) with Michael (I) Bell
Michael (I) Bell was in 8 Mile (2002) with Eminem

   You have to admit that's pretty cool right? You can (and should) try it for yourself. It may also surprise you that Rod Steiger (who? exactly!) is the center of the Hollywood Universe according to the Oracle's complicated computations. Well he was, for he's dead. May he rest in peace. Anyway, the whole thing is absolutely fascinating. Well, to me it is, so there! Now if you'll excuse me, I must link some more unlikely star pairs. :D

   PS The link between Angelina Jolie and Michael Jackson is Tony Shalhoub. Yes indeed, only one step! Hehehehe, funky uh? :)

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:: 03May03 20:30 :: SHE IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND :: She is aalways on myyyy miiind! Yes I'm talking about my car. Did I mention I'm getting her on Monday? Ah yes I did. Monday evening. 6.30. Lisa is her name, as readers of my comments will know. Tho I'm starting to wonder... my cars have always been male. I'll see how I feel about it once I drive her. Did I mention the leather seats? And the cruise control? And the 10 CD-changer? Tho I'll prolly keep my mp3-playing one. *g* Anyone want a 10-CD-changer? *g*

   Enough about my car. I got another totally adorable ownage sign from my wonderful Prueball. Other than that my week-end has been rather uneventful, I should've done all this stuff but didn't (as usual), but instead spent hours online (as usual). My uncle and his g/f are over from Germany, hooray (ahem). I can't wait for my new car (aargh sorry I said I'd stop). Well that's it then. I've been meaning to take photos of stuff (pigs, myself...) for ages. Maybe I should do that. Just to have some creative update... rather than just boring blabla.

   Am I allowed to plug the Slug? squiZZle might slaughter me as he found her, but he takes ages to update, and I wanna share. Slug is a gem of the blogging world. So go there, read, laugh and be nice to her (even if it is a pisstake. I seriously can't tell). I'm hungry so I'll be off.

   CHANGE OF PLANS Have just watched the Tomb Raider trailer again (for the 10th time)... it's gonna have to be a Lara. Sorry Seb. And Prue too. But Lara... aaaah, yes, Lara. *drools* :D

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:: 02May03 19:30 :: NAME THAT CAR :: LOL squiZZle you won! Well not as far as the colour is concerned. Anyway, I saw car, fell in love with it, agreed to buy it, and that's it. I'm getting it on Monday. Um yeah, for those of you who aren't squiZZle, it's the Hyundai Coupé. Took me ages to find a picture exactly like mine (2001 and black!), but here it is. Aaah my baby! Am getting her on Monday. Damn, am I saying her? Cars used to always be male for me. But this one's just too perfect to be male :) And yes Seb, Dutch number plate! Was only one I could find. :P Anyway. Any name suggestions? :D

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:: 02May03 12:20 :: TIME DIFFERENCES FREAK ME OUT :: I think I may have said this before. They do tho! Like, I was talking to Jess yesterday.. then at some point she goes "well I'm going to bed"... then a few hours later (or so it seemed) she's back and it turns out it's morning at her place and a new day has started... and she'll be off to the doctor soon. So we chat for another while, then I bugger off to bed myself. Next morning I get up, go to work, go online cuz bored and see Jess posting on MJNI. So there I am thinking "ah she's back from the doctor then", then realize that about 9 hours have gone since I last spoke to her... which is weeeiiird.

   I mean, life goes on for them Australian people while we sleep (which is really just wasted time with nothing happening). I know this makes me sound like a complete moron with no concept of the globe, time zones, the earth revolving around the sun and that sorta shit. But that's not at all what I mean. No no. It's just... the feeling for time... for differences in time... ah blech, forget it! Was just trying to say.

   Anyway, it's all cuz I have dyscalculia. Many of the symptoms are so me!!! Not all but a lot. And it's always a good excuse for being crap at math. AND for being chronically late too it seems :) Hooray!

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:: 01May03 19:20 :: MJ FANS :: Meh I've been spending a little more time on MJ boards again, and I am quite disgusted with what's going on. Completely pointless fights all over the place. Why do people hate so much? Why do they take all of this shit so damn seriously? It's supposed to be a hobby, no one's life depends on it, and there you have all these people getting worked up, frustrated, bitter, vengeful, vicious, obsessed over NOTHING.

   I mean look at the MJstar business now. This guy, clearly deranged and with no personal interest in MJ as far as I know, manages to mess up the whole fan community, people wreaking havoc all over the place, starting petitions etc. How could it get this far? No one should ever have bothered with the guy. The fact that he got as far as this (i.e. being rumoured official fansite) shows what state the MJ fanworld is in.

   And need I even mention the whole ish with MJJF? There's all these intrigues, rivalries, bitch-fights.... people getting involved who have nothing to do with anything, just out of boredom I suppose; people taking sides, believing half-truths or making judgments when they really have no idea what's going on... it's all just so pointless. Who do you believe? The whole shit is going on online! You can't believe anyone or anything until you've seen irrefutable proof. Which is nearly impossible to get. Why get so worked up about it?

   I mean I'll be the last person to say everything online is crap and that you should stay the hell away from it - but people should know where to end it. If your whole life is nothing but poisonous attacks on others, surely something must be wrong!? Especially if the people in question live on the other side of the world and you don't even know their real names. After all life is about having fun no? SO much negativity doesn't make us look good. Insane, more like. AH yes wait, that's what a lot of fans are. How could I forget.

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:: 01May03 14:20 :: CLEANING OUT MY BOOKSHELVES? :: Just been to Amazon again for a change, and you know how when you're logged in you get this Clarissa Carim, make 157.77. Sell your past purchases at Amazon.co.uk today. on the main page? I remember Max Goldt wrote about throwing out old books once and that he couldn't understand how you could keep tons of old books which you will never read again.

   I have tons of old books, and most of them I will never read again, but somehow I find it impossible to throw them out or sell them, unless I've really hated them. I need to keep them as a reminder, as a token of the story I've read and enjoyed - it's part of my past just like old letters or school reports are. My grandad loved reading, and he'd accumulated literally thousands of books over the decades (quite a few of them are mine now). I loved being there, among all those books - and he knew and remembered each & every one of them. You could ask him about any book and he'd go "yes, I think I have that, hang on...", and he'd shuffle to one of the rooms and return with the book, complete with a recommendation of whether I should read it or not. It was so cool.

   I don't have that sort of memory unfortunately, but I can sort of remember most of the books I've read and I can't imagine parting with them. I love being surrounded by them (it makes me look intellectual *lmao*). But I suppose if I keep buying more & more I'll end up with so many I won't know where to put them. Moving gets harder too. *lol* So maybe I should get over my obsession and start selling my books on Amazon? Hehehe, could most certainly make a fortune :D

   Hm. Maybe once I move. *hehe* I could however look into selling my Queen & Falco collections. Indeed. :D *drags cardboard box out of storage* I'm going to be rich! Hahahahah!

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