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:: 21Apr03 21:30 :: NOT AGAIN :: Well I've just had another argument with my mum, and as usual it ended in "I want you to move out" - always does these days and I have to say I'm sick of it, so I guess I'll move out. It's really annoying tho cuz I don't wanna rent, and I can't afford to buy. But I guess it's less annoying than this. Meh.

   Ugh, I don't really feel like updating much now. I was gonna write a long entry with lots of pics, all about Mainz and stuff, and my beautiful horsey... maybe later. God this is annoying. *sigh*

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:: 20Apr03 11:30 :: HAPPY EASTER :: Rejoice in the glory of our Lord, who died for each and every one of us and rose from the grave, and ascended to join His father in His heavenly reign! Hooray! Hooray! Or something like that. *lol* Katja and Tobias have buggered off to mass and left me here on my own... with a Playstation2 and about 50 games, 2 Game Boy Advance, a PC with Internet connection, lots of DVDs and a telly. What more could I possibly want? So no one can tell me religion doesn't have its good sides. *mehehehehe*

   Ah yes. So what have we been up to so far... weelll, pretty much the usual... lots of game playing (aaaah Tomb Raider for Game Boy Advance, YUM), some TV/DVD watching (shexay Mr Burns!!!)... went to Wiesbaden yesterday (that's the neighbouring town, which I'd never been to before. Was freezing cold but nice), then to the cinema at night (we saw Punch-Drunk Love... um, it was weird. Funny in places but weird).

   That´s pretty much it. I mean, who would want to go out too much when you have a Playstation2 and about 50 games, 2 Game Boy... ok well you get the drift. Right now the sun is shining tho & if it stays like that we'll go to Mainz's main cemetery this afternoon. To see some pictures Tobias took of it click here

   I might actually get myself a GBA SP, the new ones you know, they're mighty cool - backlight, rechargable battery, they look sexy... haven't had a Game Boy in years. The only thing is that buying games gets kinda addictive, and tho they aren't unaffordable, they still cost quite a bit of money... which I should really save on a car as my li'l baby is seriously starting to worry me. Which means I'll probably bug you with another "Which Car To Buy" entry in the near future. Mehehehe.

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:: 18Apr03 01:40 :: QUICKIE :: Bed soon. Yeah so as everyone can see there's a new layout, hooray, and yes I did take the picture myself, it's actually the view from my window towards the West, so this is a sunset... sometimes they come pretty like that and I try to take pics.

   Haven't got much done... not as much as I'd have liked to anyway... but who cares. Been for dinner at Gaby's tonight, was nice. Off to Mainz tomorrow (I think I've said this before), I'll be back on Monday. Nighty!

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:: 17Apr03 09:05 :: THE FUTURE :: My bum hurts. Been riding yesterday you see, and am not really very used to it anymore, so then.. well, bum hurts. Was very nice tho. Wasn't with my own baby, but with a friend's horse. Very cute. Tho not as cute as my baby of course.

   I also got a letter from uni yesterday. Months late, hadn't thought I still would, but it finally arrived. You may know that I didn't finish my MA last summer because my dad died and I was in Lux half the time & also not very inspired & all that (plus tbh I didn't like my course much anyway). So I agreed with my tutor to have my registration suspended. Well, the letter I got was confirming the suspension and telling me I was expected to turn up again on 30 August 2003. LOL of course that's totally impossible as I will still be in my (teaching) trainee phase and can't just quit. But I could have it suspended for another year and then go back & finish it. So I've decided to ring them up & also ask if I could switch to Comparative Literature instead of Translation Studies - that's in the same department and switching shouldn't be too much trouble. I did most of my essays on that subject anyway as the whole Translation thing didn't appeal to me too much...

   I'd love to go back to the UK, even if it's just for another year. I've also been thinking about the whole "moving for real" thing again... of course it is always at the back of my mind cuz I know Luxembourg is not the place for me... but I also know my reasons for staying here. And I went thru the same thing again now that I miss Me BML so much. There's realistic and there's dreams. Right now she's pretty much the most important person in the world for me, yet I can't just drop everything here and move to Glasgow, it would be insane! And I'm simply not the type of person to do that kind of stuff, I'm not daring and impulsive like that. My head will win over my heart any time, and I know why it does too.

   And I guess it's pretty much the same for her. If she told me she'd quit her job & would move here, I'd be extatic & would start looking for a flat that very same day. But just as I know I can't leave here, she wouldn't want to leave what she knows she has there for sth totally unknown. And at the end of the day it isn't all that terrible - we can always visit each other, after all the whole trip is only about 4hrs - that's what it takes me to get to Paris! Imagine if she lived in Australia or sth... *eek*

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:: 16Apr03 09:05 :: LIFE AFTER THE BML :: Right I'm gonna try to do an update with more than just "I miss Me BML" wailings (tho you might be interested in hearing that I do still miss her! No? You knew that? Because I keep repeating it again and again? All over my site? Ah. Well ok, on to other matters...)

   I spent a fortune on Amazon yesterday (retail therapy helps when you miss a BML - ok ok I'll stop!); here's what I bought:

• Dangerous remastered
• Blackadder - The Complete Box Set
• Are You Dave Gorman?
• Artemis Fowl
• How Not to Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms
• Riot: A Love Story
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5)

    Indeed. Harry Potter is a pre-order of course, I thought I might as well order it now, got 50% off. I hope the rest will arrive soon as I have just finished English Passengers. Still thinking of doing that Book Reviews page... bit of an equivalent of Michelle's and Sara's Film Reviews... indeed. Don't know if anybody would be interested tho. And if I wouldn't get bored of it after, um, 2 days.

   Right. Today I'll finally do all the stuff that needs doing (as yesterday was mainly spent going at Me BML and everyone else I could get hold of)... off to Mainz on Friday - God and school starts again on Tuesday! These holidays went faar too quickly! I remember being so very bored the first day & thinking "thank God I have so much planned or I'd die of boredom." But the good thing about being bored is that you're then kind of happy when the holidays end... now I'll just be veeery frustrated and annoyed. Want MORE!! Ah well, I guess I still have 6 days left so I should stop moaning. Waaaah, 6 days, just what I had with Me BML too, and they were over soooo incredibly fast!!! . Ahem.

   Oh BTW I've spent some time thinking about getting a tattoo again... like so many times before. I could get one that says "BML's Citz"?! *hehe* OK seriously, I'm still very much drawn to the Michael Jackson autograph thing - wouldn't be too big you see, so it wouldn't hurt so much (yes I'm scared!). My other idea was a bat, but that's aaall big & dark and has to be filled with black colour, which hurts the most (or so I'm told) and aaargh.

   Yes and then there's something else... I was talking to my mummy Prue yesterday and made her guess my real name, and we were at Babynames.com and found all these other names that mean the same thing as my real name (and no I will tell you neither the meaning nor any of the other names), and I was thinking, I could get the Chinese version as a tattoo... lots of people have Chinese signs tattooed on them, and that way it would be something personal, rather than just "prosperity" or crap like that. Indeed. What do you think, o reader?

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:: 15Apr03 12:45 :: APPEAL :: I'm missing something. Maybe you can help me get it back? It's 5'8", BML-shaped and it speaks funny. I think I might have left it at Charleroi airport. I went looking round for it but it was gone. If you can find it anywhere, please contact me urgently.

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:: 15Apr03 12:45 :: NO MORE BML ::

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:: 14Apr03 14:25 :: VIDEO TRANSCRIPT :: Right, we've done a transcript of our video so for those that are hard of hearing, it can be found here - the video, as we all know, is here. Right that's it from us, we're off to France.

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:: 14Apr03 04:15 :: FINAL OFFERING :: from the BML and She Citz - video-wise we mean. Aren't that drunk (hehe), but have spent all night making.... well - this! Was a lot of effort, getting changed, changing make-up, moving spotlights and thinking up dialogue (plus the bloody video program crashed on us once so we had to start again)... so y'all better watch it and tell us how much you love it. It's a 855KB RealMedia file (is quite big but we thought what the heck), so mummy Jess will have to visit mummy Proo to watch it :P

   The filename will tell you enough about the subject matter... won't tell you any more than that otherwise wouldn't be surprise anymore. I'm aware the audio is kinda crap at times, transcript available on request. So let me repeat that for you: click here and view/download our amazing video!

   Ah yes, other than that... been sight-seeing around the country... castles, waterfalls, ravines, horses... been... um... that's it really. And is only 4.20 now (waaaaah). *ahem* Have cute BML tho :) And is staying with Citz She!!! (Beeeee!!!!! Now don't annoy me with all that "but what about job/living/visas/real life" crap!! Don't wanna hear any of it!!! Belongs with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!)

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:: 13Apr03 11:55 :: WOOSH! :: Howdy-ho everyone, how's things out there? It's Sunday morning (tho will be Sunday afternoon in a few minutes), BML Me be sleeping (hum, déjà-vu here) and Citz has just tidied room! *looks proudly to her mummies* Cuz yes, Citz & BML now have mummies as have been adopted by Proolaroo and Jessiepoo :) They're very caring mummies!

   They also allowed us to go to the cinema last night, we saw Johnny English, was very funny & Natalie Imbruglia was very sexy. She has something Angelinish about her... and her character in the film was kinda Lara-ish, which further added to the appeal. Went to a cocktail bar afterwards, only had two tiny cocktails tho as we thought it might be an idea to let our livers rest a little. But fear not, we shall be getting drunk and making fools of ourselves again tonight.

   Very sunny again outside, so we will definitely go out of the house today... and before 6pm this time! Solemn promise! Probably going for a walk with horsey... maybe cycling... maybe both. Must soon wake BML Me, so buhbye me lovelies & speak soon!

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:: 12Apr03 15:05 :: MAD DRUNKEN ANTICS WITH BML ME :: *ahem* Hello from two mad eejits. Wanna see/hear some of what we've been up to? (not like you have much choice *muah-ha-ha*). Well first off there's this huuugely embarrassing picture... rather not have on here as strangers might consider us officially insane (while friends know we are, but apparently don't mind) so can click here to view. *giggle* Were very drunk. Is kinda stupid, but kinda cute too (is cuz has BML Mine). And Citz be fat :(

   Right, then there's the YRMW intro we did that we spent about, um, 3 hours on. Was fun. *lol* Indeed. Can download original and BML-Citz version, but are not telling which one's which. Have been slightly distorted of course (mainly to minimise embarrassment for BML & Citz)... so here be one and here be another. Indeed. *hehehehe* I know we're a bit weird. Is ok tho (I think).

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:: 11Apr03 04:25 :: HUMAN SUFFERING & WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT :: These past few days I have been seeing quite a lot of pictures of victims of the Iraq war here and there... more or less gory depending on where you look (from this to this depending on what you want, or think you can take)... and I know they are heart-wrenching, shocking and often literally sickening - and I also (as you know) totally condemn this war and get really worked up about what's going on... and still I couldn't help myself thinking about the kind/level of propaganda that is going on even there - or even, focussing less on the manipulative angle, the way we can get really really worked up about some injustice or suffering in the world just because it is being shoved in our faces.

   It happens all the time - and in a way it's good that the media can bring the suffering home to us because it makes us care - but on the other hand it's worth nothing cuz it's selective as always because it's showing us a) what is "of importance now" and b) what is politically correct (for whatever side it's supporting) - so we are only being presented with about, I dunno (rough estimate) 5% of the world's misery - and tho of course it's right to get outraged about what these people have to go thru, the pointless casualties and so on, it is still selective - and it's being selected according to whatever the selectors (media, governments, NGOs...) are trying to put across.

   I read just earlier that the Iraqi war victims had "finally got a face" with Ali Ismail Abbas, a boy who's tragically lost both arms in an attack. And that just shows the whole mentality behind it - people need to see suffering (preferably with sound & in colour) to actually be shocked & do something.

   Human suffering is universal. 4/5th of humans live in underdeveloped countries, there are 97 so-called "dictators" world-wide, there is some kind of torture going on in most of our "Western" countries (including yours, quite probably!) & people are being discriminated, oppressed & abused by other people all over the world. Yet we focus on this now, because this is what one is supposed to focus on at the moment. Obviously if anyone tried to actively deal with each & every single instance or possibility of cruelty worldwide, they would go mad. But singling out one person's or one nation's suffering is just as dishonest as ignoring the whole lot altogether.

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:: 11Apr03 03:25 :: VIDEO UPDATE :: First ever video update of BML Me and She Citz together (as should be).

*   CLICK HERE for final video (133KB, 12secs)
*   CLICK HERE for rehearsal (1271KB, 4:56mins)
Be cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute BTW and all mine . Also, keeping.
Prizes will go to whoever can guess how many times:
* BML Me brushed her hair
* Citz said "3, 2, 1"
* BML Me & She Citz laughed
* Citz said "aaaargh double chin!!!"
* BML Me and She Citz attempted to "look all serious"

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:: 10Apr03 11:45 :: HELLO, HOW BE? :: BML Me be sleeping - be CUTE when sleeping (well, be cute all the time really). But will soon have to be woken up methinks, as is more fun when awake. You know, kinda moves and talks more, which is always enjoyable. Very cute indeed.

   I never did show you any "normal" pics from Barcelona did I? I'm kinda planning to put them on my Pics of Places page when it's updated (and yes, one day it WILL get updated I swear!), so I guess I could just show you a few here... hover over the pics for a description. :) Behold the cloudless blue sky!!! :D

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:: 09Apr03 12:25 :: :: Me be off to pick up Me BML from airport now!!! Buh-byeee!!!

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:: 08Apr03 13:55 :: ANNOUNCEMENTS :: Some updatey stuff... first off, I got a cute slave sign from Jess - weeeeee :D Thanks hun! *muah* Also, I sent two balcony pics to the "Balconies for Peace" site & they have been added, you can see them here. I will do my own page soon. I've added some test results on my Quizzes page (I'm 100% British, hehe), and I've updated the Pluggage section (scroll down & look left). OH & check the cute plane on the campic! *g* That's it :)

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:: 07Apr03 23:35 :: POST-BARCELONA :: Well now, Barcelona's over & we're on our flight back. It was a most agreeable trip, the weather being generally quite pleasant, albeit a little windy at times. We did see a great number of interesting sights though. I can claim I've enjoyed Barcelona, truly, though it will never come anywhere near Paris in fabulousness.

    LOL sorry about the language, I'm still reading Kneale's "English Passengers". Short Barcelona account. We visited most of the normal sightseeing destinations, my mum moaning about having to walk so much as usual, and I also managed a fair bit of shopping. I took about 100 photos, incl. lots of anti-war posters, flags, graffiti and such. I guess I’ll make a page with those pics. Incidentally, a guy has done sth similar – balcons per la pau, balconies for peace, I strongly recommend you visit this project and have a look - a most clever way of showing protest (tho this is Spain-wide). They’re all over Barcelona! I loved it.

   You see, we’d felt a little apprehensive about visiting a country that was (officially) supporting the war, so this was very heart-warming to behold - it was reassuring to see how strongly these people expressed their discontent with their government & the decision it had taken in their name. I suppose Catalans are especially against everything the Spanish government decides... I must say I like the atmosphere in these little "we wanna be independent" areas... it reminded me of Cardiff in a way... much stronger sense of civil disobedience. Quite endearing :P

   I must say I've missed my music. I took no music-playing device this time to avoid carrying too much stuff, but I doubt this is something I will repeat. I didn't miss the Net so much, though I did go online a few times, mostly with my Psion and once from an Internet Cafe. The 40mins I had there proved far too much time tho, as all I felt I had to visit was my mail, my site as well as Me BML’s and Michelle’s, Seb’s board and the Spiegel magazine news site. My essential Internet at the moment. *hehe*

   I've also sort of wrecked my Psion, as its Web browser decided to crash on me & there seems no way of forcefully closing it down. Doesn't keep me from doing other stuff, but eats up about 1/2 of my memory. There must be a way to reset the whole system, guess I'll try to find out when I get home. See, systems that don't need booting have their disadvantages too.

   Less than two days till Me BML comes to visit :D *yay!!!* Can't wait - must do some more tidying up tho & all. Like, remove all the stuff that's on the bed she's supposed to be using, and remove further evidence of my slobness (?). Must also retrieve pigs.

    Right, I’m back home now so I’ll put this online now and then bugger off to bed. I’ll very likely grace you with numerous photographs of Barcelona, the war protests and the items I purchased. I can picture you shrieking in excitement already :P

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:: 03Apr03 23:35 :: MISSING :: Don't laugh at me, but I miss my guinea pigs. I keep wanting to talk to them, but they ain't there. BRING THEM BACK!!! *sigh* Anyway. I'm off to Barcelona tomorrow morning, for the week-end, back on Monday. Am taking my Psion, my mobile & all... so could go online if I wanted, but I think I'll manage without. The Net is boring and I can text Me BML anyway. Wow. I'll be offline, like, properly. First time since I visited Claire in July last year.

   Yeah so. I'll be back on Monday night & Me BML arrives on Wednesday!!!! Lemme repeat that: Me BML, that very muchly most fabulous person, the bestest, will arrive on Weds and we will spend 6 days together. Hopefully we'll find a solution before the end of those 6 days as to how we can spend the rest of our lives together, or not too far apart.

   OK, thassat, me off now pretending to get some sleep. Now go & do the same! See you on Monday!

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:: 03Apr03 13:35 :: ME ME ME!!! :: Hehe, talking about ME... how well do you think you know ME? Take the quiz here and find out! *g* This is really important! I mean, it's all about ME!!! :D

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:: 02Apr03 15:35 :: HOW UNUSUAL :: This morning I finally tidied the heaps of clothes I'd had on the floor for ages. All of them. Floor's all clean now. So just now I was gonna get dressed, went to the "clothing part" of my room... and was all disconcerted cuz there weren't any clothes! I'm used to just choosing & picking them up from the floor, and now there ain't none! I'm gonna have to look in the closets and all! God, all these adjustments that need to be made. Scary.

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